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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

"'We're Killing Everybody We Can,' Seattle Police Declare"

Posted by on Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 2:14 PM

I was downtown earlier today, and somebody's hijacked a whole bunch of Seattle Times newspaper boxes, replacing the display copies with another copy that looks like this:

box-5.jpg

box-2.jpg

box-6.jpg

Headline: "WE'RE KILLING EVERYBODY WE CAN," SEATTLE POLICE DECLARE. The upper left: WONDERS WONDER AWAY Who even cares about anything anymore? And the upper right: GIANT HUMANS STORM THE EARTH Healthy confident.


POST UPDATED, 5:25 pm. MORE PHOTOS AFTER THE JUMP

Westlake Center

box-1.jpg

box-25.jpg

Smiles, We Have Smiles

box-24.jpg

Macy's

box-3.jpg

5th Avenue

box-6.jpg

5th Avenue WTF

box-5.jpg

Pike Place Market

box-11.jpg

box-14.jpg

box-13.jpg

box-27.jpg

Seattle Art Museum

box-20.jpg

Lusty Laa... I mean "Building For Lease"

box-23.jpg

And this one for Slogger SeMe: This old dude was total old school G. 2nd and Pike all the way. I'm pretty sure he was on his way to The Turf

turf.jpg

 

Comments (74) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Griffin 1
So did you buy a copy? I want to know what's inside.
Posted by Griffin on February 22, 2011 at 2:20 PM
2
I did try to buy one. It's only a single piece of paper. They appear to be signed and numbered, like you would do with art. I can't make out the signature
Posted by Kelly O on February 22, 2011 at 2:29 PM
Urgutha Forka 3
@1,
From the close up shot, it looks like just a single sheet of paper stuck in front of the actual newspaper.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 22, 2011 at 2:30 PM
gloomy gus 4
Those are great.
Posted by gloomy gus on February 22, 2011 at 2:34 PM
Rujax! 5
Awesome.
Posted by Rujax! http://rujax.blogspot.com/ on February 22, 2011 at 2:37 PM
6
Impact? Really?

Also, I don't remember any children being shot by SPD. Names?
Posted by RL is too lazy to log in on February 22, 2011 at 2:38 PM
thecolor 7
That is an awesome prank! like the Onion! :D
Posted by thecolor on February 22, 2011 at 2:39 PM
rob! 8
Jesus. What is that main photo from? It's reminiscent of Hemingway-era African safaris where the Great White Hunter holds up the head of a slaughtered kudu or lion or something.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 22, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Vince 9
It would be funny if it weren't...well, you know the rest.
Posted by Vince on February 22, 2011 at 2:40 PM
Will in Seattle 10
They only kill the non-whites.

Sadly true.

Seattle Under Siege ...
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2011 at 2:43 PM
11
@7 - reminds me more of Banksy's Paris Hilton stunt!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/5310416.stm
Posted by Kelly O on February 22, 2011 at 2:48 PM
Cato the Younger Younger 12
@10, thank god I'm white...though gay so I probably am at a slight risk of getting my brains shot out by a Seattle cop.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on February 22, 2011 at 2:49 PM
Aaron 13
Juvenile and counter productive. Way to advance the dialog.
Posted by Aaron on February 22, 2011 at 2:51 PM
14
That's near where an officer was assaulted this morning. http://www.seattlepi.com/local/435927_po…
Posted by upsetting on February 22, 2011 at 2:51 PM
15
@13: Juvenile, yes. Counterproductive? How so - cops will even be WORSE now? Meh.
Posted by Go Juveniles! on February 22, 2011 at 3:13 PM
16
Typical idiocy from stereotypical naive sheltered white Seattle libtard hypocrites who live in one of the whitest cities in the USA.
Posted by Down with White Seattle Liberal Privilege on February 22, 2011 at 3:20 PM
Doctor Memory 17
You know what else doesn't "advance the dialog"? Getting shot in the fucking head.
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on February 22, 2011 at 3:21 PM
Sargon Bighorn 18
The police are not killing me. So I guess the stupid ass one page stunt is wrong. When the police REALLY start to kill everybody you little shits will know it. Otherwise show some respect for those police officers that do their jobs with dignity and honesty every day. Get mad at the one or two officers that are infact hurting innocent citizens. That anger is justified and well directed. And get mad at the police officers that support those bad officers. But Stop lumping them all together, it's wrong it's bad it's evil.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on February 22, 2011 at 3:24 PM
19
Hide your kids. Hide your wife.
Posted by cliche on February 22, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Will in Seattle 20
@13 what dialog?

Are you living in a different Emerald City than we are?
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2011 at 3:25 PM
Will in Seattle 21
@16 try looking at the 2010 census data - and then go tell yourself that fable.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2011 at 3:26 PM
Jonathan Golob 22
Hey Kelly O!
The Fifth Estate (A Detroit anarchist newspaper) pulled a similar stunt on an Easter Sunday decades ago.

If I recall correctly, the faked out version of the Detroit News contained this 'Chuckle of the Day':
"Jesus is on the cross,
His Blood is Dripping.
Grab Another Nail,
His Head is Slipping."

Posted by Jonathan Golob http://dearscience.org on February 22, 2011 at 3:27 PM
23
@18 The police condemnation of the recent police shootings has been muted, at best. In the meantime, we have the SPOG Guardian to gage the rank-and-file blue response.
Posted by tiktok on February 22, 2011 at 3:29 PM
24
I always suspected they killed Laura Palmer.
Posted by random reader on February 22, 2011 at 3:30 PM
DOUG. 25
Terrible typography.
Posted by DOUG. http://www.dougsvotersguide.com on February 22, 2011 at 3:31 PM
Post_Mortem 26
To those taking the main headline as serious social commentary, I suggest paying attention to what's above that.
Posted by Post_Mortem http://pointlessman.blogspot.com/ on February 22, 2011 at 3:34 PM
27
@13: 'Cause it's everyone's obligation to "advance the dialog", whatever that means. No room for commentary, or sarcasm or parody, or anything not laser-focused on robotically advancing some dialog to some unspecified end.

Kind of a grim reality you've got there.
Posted by also on February 22, 2011 at 3:35 PM
28
Brilliant. The human responsible for this has my undying love.
Posted by kerri harrop http://generalbonkers.com on February 22, 2011 at 3:36 PM
Greenwood 29
Blaming all police officers for the actions of a few is no different than blaming all teachers when one molests a student. For the most part, the police officers in Seattle are good people doing their job as best as they know how.
Posted by Greenwood on February 22, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Aaron 30
Sorry Will, I've been here a lot longer than this has been the "Emerald City".

Yes, counterproductive. A dialog doesn't have to exist or be healthy to advance the same, and stupid jokes like this work counter to addressing the very real issues that have led to the current state of affairs.

A total waste of time. While you're busy pretending you understand why some cops are "bad", maybe you should pause for a moment and try to consider why anyone would want to take on the responsibility of being a cop in a city like Seattle. Why would someone do that, so they can be spit on? Because they get sexually aroused by wearing a badge? Maybe so.

At least now you are considering real world ideas, rather than farting in the bathtub because you think the bubbles are funny.

So, not only juvenile and counterproductive, but stupid as well. No wonder Will likes it.
Posted by Aaron on February 22, 2011 at 3:45 PM
Will in Seattle 31
Lol. You have no idea of the history of this city and how corrupt we've been, do you Aaron.

Look up Abscam on your Googlez and follow the linked corruption history ...
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2011 at 3:47 PM
32
@29 I don't see all teachers unquestionably supporting child molesting teachers. You're thinking priests- it's a far more apt comparison. And yes, priests are scum for supporting (or at the very least staying silent about) those evil bastards.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on February 22, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Aaron 33
@29 FTW
Posted by Aaron on February 22, 2011 at 3:51 PM
Westlake, son! 34
So awesome.
Posted by Westlake, son! on February 22, 2011 at 4:01 PM
Will in Seattle 35
well, not the win, but it is true.

very sad how all the good cops are being tarred by the actions of the bad cops.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2011 at 4:01 PM
36
@Kelly O and Golob: Don't forget The Yes Men's New York Times stunt.
http://theyesmen.org/hijinks/newyorktime…
Right after the 2008 election.
Posted by Maggie on February 22, 2011 at 4:01 PM
37
Shit, I would have paid for one.
Posted by seatackled on February 22, 2011 at 4:24 PM
HOT PUSSY 38
Perfect.
Posted by HOT PUSSY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4QKiYar9pI on February 22, 2011 at 4:33 PM
39
Retarded
Posted by More "art" from sanctimonious white Seattle libtards on February 22, 2011 at 4:50 PM
40
yo kelly- the bottom pic is really good. the old dude with the leather jacket looks like an old school G. cig in hand checking out the headline. thats 2nd and pike right?
Posted by SeMe on February 22, 2011 at 5:03 PM
41
This was done during WTO as well
Posted by K X One on February 22, 2011 at 5:12 PM
vavavarooooom 42
@29 agreed with @32. I would feel bad for the cops if I knew which of them were there to help, and which of them are just waiting for an opportunity to shoot. As of now I see a unified front in support of the shooters. When a teacher molests a child, the other teachers condemn and shun, when I see that in the cops, I will treat them as individuals.
Posted by vavavarooooom on February 22, 2011 at 5:30 PM
43
Reminds me of Derek Erdman 2003: http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshak…

Guess he had to move to a new city to recycle it.
Posted by B. Beatsie on February 22, 2011 at 5:51 PM
Posted by B. Beatsie on February 22, 2011 at 6:01 PM
45
The best piece of art i've ever seen in Seattle
Posted by izzie on February 22, 2011 at 6:13 PM
46
This is 100% great.
Posted by laceyswain on February 22, 2011 at 6:19 PM
Seattle from Singapore 47
@29 FTL. When a teacher is caught molesting a child, they are prosecuted and put in jail. When a cop is caught murdering someone he's allowed to resign and move on. False equivalancy.
Posted by Seattle from Singapore on February 22, 2011 at 6:22 PM
48
@29: Oh bullshit. Teachers' Unions don't sanction molestation and stand behind known pedophiles.
Posted by I like individual cops. As a grouping, they can be fearsome on February 22, 2011 at 6:45 PM
dan10things 49
@29, there was no blame for all police officers, there was a creative artistic approach to confronting the recent rash of murder and violence by Seattle cops that's been going on. Seattle citizens have a right to be angry about it and one would think a creative, rather than violent, approach to outrageous police behavior would be welcomed.

I hate and criticize the police violence, yet realize that's a small percentage of our force. I had a perfectly wonderful and easy experience at the downtown station getting a copy of an incident report today. Faster than a bank transaction, for which I was thankful for, and all the SPD staff were super nice and helpful.
Posted by dan10things http://10thingszine.blogspot.com on February 22, 2011 at 6:55 PM
runswithnailclippers 50
Shouldn't that sign across from the museum say "Building for Sleaze"?
Posted by runswithnailclippers on February 22, 2011 at 7:48 PM
51
AMAZING!

Banksy, only better, because it's not .
Posted by artisforangels on February 22, 2011 at 8:06 PM
52
50

Describe all Seattle libtards? Too vague.
Posted by Start aiming at liberals damn it! on February 22, 2011 at 8:30 PM
53
Conservitards, on my Slog?

bootless cries, a la Shakespeare
Posted by Watch more Glenn Beck, fuckwits. on February 22, 2011 at 11:32 PM
Phoebe on NE 79th 54
@35 - Will in Seatle, well, then why are you taring them?
Posted by Phoebe on NE 79th on February 23, 2011 at 12:34 AM
55
don't forget the Seattle Crimes newspaper that appeared in downtown newspaper boxes in 2005... i think i still have a copy somewhere.

(there's a PDF available here, i believe:)
http://news.infoshop.org/article.php?sto…
Posted by z-s-z on February 23, 2011 at 12:44 AM
56
we could avoid all of this if we would just dedicate more of our officers to eradicating the terrible threat of bikini baristas! we need as much manpower as we can muster to do another year long sting into the local strip clubs. THESE are the true problems we face here in Seattle. who cares about the gangs, thefts, violence, and other minor crimes involving any of the three?
Posted by killing everybody...that's funny, right? on February 23, 2011 at 6:46 AM
raindrop 57
Yes, Kelly was just casually strolling downtown and came across a box. And then ran around looking to find others. NOT!
Someone alerted The Stranger that this was going to occur, or it could be a totally "inside job".
Nevertheless, this thread is fascinatingly indicative of the degree of shallow jadedness that permeates the pea-brains that lap this stuff up with glee, getting a big Tee-Hee over it. It probably doesn't occur to them that many officers are union-supporting Democrats like them (or that some are even gay) - but that doesn't matter - they're all PIGS as far as they're concerned. I just hope they don't require a trip to the ER when they get mugged and then get their attitude adjustment on the spot.
Posted by raindrop on February 23, 2011 at 8:00 AM
raindrop 58
@49: Creative artistic approach? I could replicate the same thing on my laptop in an hour, hardly artistic.
Posted by raindrop on February 23, 2011 at 8:38 AM
raindrop 59
I need to correct myself. Creativity is not negated because someone else can replicate it. But I think we'd all agree that amateur parodies are not creative.
Posted by raindrop on February 23, 2011 at 8:46 AM
60
they should have put these up in bellevue.
Posted by soothsayer on February 23, 2011 at 12:07 PM
HOT PUSSY 61
@58 - But you didn't. Instead you sat around replicating some other godawful boring git's posts on your laptop. The only thing less creative than amateur parodies are amateur critics.
Posted by HOT PUSSY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4QKiYar9pI on February 23, 2011 at 11:01 PM
raindrop 62
@61: We're not in an art galery here. This was a mean-spirited punch against the SPD.
Posted by raindrop on February 24, 2011 at 3:01 PM
derek_erdman 63
@59: I'm interested to hear more about what you think "we'd all agree" on. In fact, I'd be delighted to witness a really long conversation between you and yourself, perhaps in an "art galery".
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on February 24, 2011 at 5:39 PM
Trent Moorman 64
I'm wearing full on kevlar now, wherever I go.
Posted by Trent Moorman on February 24, 2011 at 10:51 PM
65
@62 As opposed to a mean-spirited shot (or 5) in the chest?
Posted by Big on February 25, 2011 at 2:25 PM
66
Yes Sargon Bighorn, respect the cops that aren't raping women in New York while they make 110,000 - 150,000$ a year, or executing people who are handcuffed on a subway platform, but you know, this is just a joke paper. Show some respect for the piggies.
Posted by chokehold on February 27, 2011 at 12:42 PM
HOT PUSSY 67
@61 - If you're alive, you're in an art gallery.
Posted by HOT PUSSY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4QKiYar9pI on February 27, 2011 at 2:18 PM
68
If you're alive and your name is Art your last name should be Gallery and you should wear Nagel T-shirts
Posted by Awesome on February 28, 2011 at 8:02 PM
69
@68, That's awesome!
Posted by super awesome on February 28, 2011 at 8:13 PM
70
@69, agreed!
Posted by Hair Salon on February 28, 2011 at 8:17 PM
71
@68, Not cool!
Posted by Nagel on February 28, 2011 at 8:22 PM
72
@68, Thanks for the tip!
Posted by Art Gallery on February 28, 2011 at 8:26 PM
73
Yes, this has been done better before, most recently by the Yes Men with the NY Times, but it's still effective. I live in Spain and local people just passed me the link because they know I used to live in Seattle, asking "what's wrong with the police there?!" News travels far, even when false.
Posted by fil a stine on March 8, 2011 at 10:36 AM
74
MORE TO COME
Posted by angryaudnfriends on May 26, 2011 at 11:40 PM

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