Slog Music

Music, Nightlife,
and Drinks

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Dr. God, M.D.

Posted by on Thu, Feb 17, 2011 at 2:18 PM

These posters wound up in my inbox (thanks, Ben!) and at first I thought they were satire on the healing powers of religion—God as a quack doc, Jesus as the most inept RN ever.

And then I remembered my grandparents' neighbor, a retired farmer who found out he had lung cancer. He went to chemo a few times and then quit.

Turns out he conferred with God, who told him to drink "hay tea" (hot water with straw in it) and that would cure him. Six months later, the man claimed he was cured, though he never checked with a doc to confirm this.

A few weeks later he was dead.

And while visiting religious pregnancy centers last week (which present themselves as "medical clinics"—even though most of them don't have docs or nurses on staff), I was repeatedly asked how an abortion would affect my relationship with God—and how would that, in turn, affect my mental and physical health. They gave me pamphlets that read, "What is God's desire for you in this situation? How does God see your unborn child?"

Hey! After abortions, maybe God could just prescribe women with "two caplets of clear conscience" and we could all move on with our lives!

My point is, seeing spirituality as an allegorical cure for what ails you is fine. But start substituting God for real medical care (or imposing him on others in lieu of real medical care) and, as you'll see below, you're doing nothing but playing games with your health and making God the target of a pretty hefty malpractice suit.

More medical advice from the Lord after the jump.













Comments (19) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
God needs an Art Director.
Posted by DOUG. on February 17, 2011 at 2:20 PM · Report this
Last of the Time Lords 2
You should have asked those good Christian folk if they were pregnant with Adolph Hitler..would they have an abortion?
Posted by Last of the Time Lords on February 17, 2011 at 2:22 PM · Report this
Centopar 3
I am afraid that the prescription has just resulted in my producing three and half cups of vomit.
Posted by Centopar on February 17, 2011 at 2:23 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 4
I really liked God's column in the Stranger this week.
Posted by Will in Seattle on February 17, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report this
If God wanted someone to know his opinions on their pregnancy, why wouldn't he just tell them himself?

Or might one assume his abject silence on the matter to be sufficient to conclude he don't give a rat's patootie?
Posted by COMTE on February 17, 2011 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Sounds like the Republican health care plan for the uninsured and poor.
Posted by Vadt on February 17, 2011 at 2:48 PM · Report this
Allyn 7
@2 "No, because it is God's will." Or some crap response like that. Remember: "All things work togehter to the glory of God." Like child rape and genocide.
Posted by Allyn on February 17, 2011 at 2:52 PM · Report this
WeeblesWobble 8
This prescription causes emesis.
Posted by WeeblesWobble on February 17, 2011 at 2:53 PM · Report this
Fistique 9
From your inbox to Slog's ears.
Posted by Fistique on February 17, 2011 at 3:02 PM · Report this
You know, I would go into a rant about God proving how much of a shit he gives about his faithful through prayer studies, but the sheer awfulness of the initial layout and the gross torture of the later pictures have made me ill. Maybe I'll go take a homeopathic remedy (a glass of water) to get the taste of sugar out of my mouth.
Posted by Lynx on February 17, 2011 at 3:02 PM · Report this
Is the chick all ghostly because she died from lack of medical care?

I like her flapper hair.
Posted by dwight moody on February 17, 2011 at 3:19 PM · Report this
jesus and me got drunk...he is the KING OF BEERS.
Posted by masgroovy on February 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM · Report this
Fish Wrench Asteroid 13
Did your grandparents' neighbor commit suicide, or was he murdered by his religious leaders?
Posted by Fish Wrench Asteroid on February 17, 2011 at 3:59 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 14
@12 but God prefers hard cider. In pints.

Mind you, he's been known to indulge in wine and women too. Them Nazareth babes are hawt!
Posted by Will in Seattle on February 17, 2011 at 4:46 PM · Report this
Posted by venomlash on February 17, 2011 at 4:48 PM · Report this
Zebes 16
That woman looks like she's planning on eating those flowers.
Posted by Zebes on February 17, 2011 at 5:40 PM · Report this
Knat 17
@15: Are you telling Cienna she needs to stop posting on SLOG? And seriously, when did you start only posting replies in 4chan memes?
Posted by Knat on February 17, 2011 at 6:22 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 18
The fact that any "god" would design a being that is constantly falling apart and getting sick and all kinda tells you something about god's designing skills.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 17, 2011 at 8:41 PM · Report this
Ah'm thighnkang thayat Gawd's tayaking cayah of dem whayat Amairakins real good. Ah kain't see no people of culluh up thayah. Ah dint know till I cayame down heah dat whayat Amairakin Pepsicolans & Protestants gots der own puhsonul Jaysus and Gawd who wrote diffrunt Bahbuls fer dem so dey dont hafta shayah.
Posted by God cured my brain tumour when I left the US on February 18, 2011 at 8:06 AM · Report this

Add a comment


Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy