Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, February 15, 2011
Homo Iowa Grandma Speaks Out for Gay Marriage
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 9:18 AM
I just can't quit you, Slog—not when there are videos like this out there:
That was great, Mom. Thanks.
3
Thanks for posting this Dan and so glad you are back, helping us all be informed of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
7
That was great! Maybe you can get her to do an "It Gets Better" video where she talks about how she learned to accept her son.
9
Dan, you can't break up with us cause we won't let you. There's too many of us and we'd hound you until you came back where you belong. We may not always agree with you, but we always adore you.
Muwah!
xoxoxo
Muwah!
xoxoxo
12
Terrific. An Iowan commenter on one of the legislature threads last week reminded us that people like this are much more representative of Iowans than the lunatic righties who keep seeking (and getting) publicity with their doomed antigay screeds in the statehouse.
13
P.S. I hope you enjoy work today, Canuck. May it seem like a place "where bluebirds sing and there's a whiskey spring"...
14
Dan, don't even think about changing your ways because some insecure staffer projected her high school bully issues onto you.
POST MOAR PLZ
POST MOAR PLZ
18
She's perfect—a treasure! I wish all of my gay friends whose parents "don't accept their choice" could have this lady in their lives.
19
This video makes me realize that I have no idea what my Iowa grandmother thinks about gay marriage. Which is surprising since she has a tendency to say everything that she is thinking at the moment.
22
I am nine time zones away from Seattle. I only come to SLOG for Dan. If he wants to go somewhere else with his column and blog, I will follow.
23
I love her so! She gets a little verklempt in the middle there.
Oh and as far as you breaking up with us goes Daniel, I fell off a stage expressing my undying devotion once and I will do it again. Don't test me.
Oh and as far as you breaking up with us goes Daniel, I fell off a stage expressing my undying devotion once and I will do it again. Don't test me.
24
Feeling the love for you today Dan. Stay strong and keep it real. Don't know the other blogger but she seems awful (and her pictures do her no favors).
26
gus...lunch, woot!....alas, there is a noted lack of alcohol here, but perhaps if I let my edamame salad ferment on the heat vent? And no bluebirds, but the Disco Mix on my iPod will suffice... :)
BEG....so long as he doesn't ride that horse bareback....heh.
BEG....so long as he doesn't ride that horse bareback....heh.
28
As a transplant to Minnesota, I can tell you, we tease Iowans to no end. Not really sure why, except that they aren't Minnesotan, but this lady is outstanding. We have eight cities here that legalized civil unions and I have some hope that one day we'll have marriage equality in my state, maybe this Iowan Grandma can come up here and make it happen.
29
It's all the more powerful because she admits that she and her husband were "stunned, confused and angry" when her son came out, but that they came around.
32
Damn, she looks amazing for 80!
It's great that she stands up for us, but I am sick of gays having to prove we are upstanding and moral so we can get equal rights. Bleh.
It's great that she stands up for us, but I am sick of gays having to prove we are upstanding and moral so we can get equal rights. Bleh.
35
What a great lady. It's good to be reminded that not everyone of the older generation is bigoted- even in my conservative Irish Catholic family, one of my grandmothers is also pro-gay marriage. She wasn't always, but when one of my cousins came out as gay (he has been with his fiance now for seven years), she changed her mind. When other family members wanted to not invite him and his SO over for holidays and reunions, she put her foot down and stood up for him. I'm proud to have her as my grandmother.
I also want to second another commenter who said that if Dan moved his blog elsewhere, we would follow. I generally like The Stranger and Slog, but I like Dan much more.
Dan, the people who dislike you are very small in number when compared to your devoted fans. I don't always agree with you, but what you do is important, and we love it. Just know that you have lots of people who support you!
I also want to second another commenter who said that if Dan moved his blog elsewhere, we would follow. I generally like The Stranger and Slog, but I like Dan much more.
Dan, the people who dislike you are very small in number when compared to your devoted fans. I don't always agree with you, but what you do is important, and we love it. Just know that you have lots of people who support you!
38
You're the only Slog contributor I read — Don't quit! You've articulated your defense of your comments well enough to be justified, and you're just the victim of others' irrationality now.
40
Hey, gang, we don't have to slag off Lindy to support Dan (& ragging on her picture? Nice!). Slog is this great blog where all these views get heard. Dan's writing is what brought me here (plus I fell in wild love w/ Seattle when I visited). But since then I have come to appreciate the different voices of the Stranger staff. Let's leave that discussion/disagreement in the threads where they live, okay?
Oh Dan, we can't quit you either! We may pile on you when we disagree, but then some freakshow writes in about how they love to be covered in mud/have feather dusters up their ass/have orgies while covered in peanut butter - & just like that, we're hooked anew.
As for this video..I have never known either of my grandmas, as my parents are older than most folks' my age. But in my dreams I have a white-haired granny, & she's totally cool w/ my being bi. What an eloquent grand dame. Thanks for posting it.
Oh Dan, we can't quit you either! We may pile on you when we disagree, but then some freakshow writes in about how they love to be covered in mud/have feather dusters up their ass/have orgies while covered in peanut butter - & just like that, we're hooked anew.
As for this video..I have never known either of my grandmas, as my parents are older than most folks' my age. But in my dreams I have a white-haired granny, & she's totally cool w/ my being bi. What an eloquent grand dame. Thanks for posting it.
41
Oh man. This totally made me cry, and I'm a straight lady. Awesome. Love it, love her. Way to represent.
44
@27 -- if you use the auto captioning, it's actually pretty decent. it can't seem to get "iowan" right, buti f you kind of read between the lines, it's clear what she's saying (I'm deaf and mostly don't bother with the extra equipment to try and listen along with the captions). If you can't see the cc button on the embedded video in the slog page (that happens sometimes), click through to watch it on youtube, hover your cursor over the cc button at the bottom and choose transcribe auto then click on okay.
46
Dan isn't going to stop blogging. But who could argue that it may be time to go his own way? You're big enough and have a large enough following now to promote yourself, if you want to. Combine the slog blog with Savage Love... add a few dozens of thousands of loyal followers... mix for 15 minutes at high speed, and boom!
I side with Lindy on the fat issues. But that doesn't mean I don't still love Dan... nobody is perfect (plus I never even heard of Lindy before yesterday). But I don't agree with ANY of my idols 100% of the time (not even George Carlin!). I'll keep reading and support Savage Love, wherever it ends up.
I side with Lindy on the fat issues. But that doesn't mean I don't still love Dan... nobody is perfect (plus I never even heard of Lindy before yesterday). But I don't agree with ANY of my idols 100% of the time (not even George Carlin!). I'll keep reading and support Savage Love, wherever it ends up.
48
Oh hey, a marriage bill introduced in Washington state on valentine's day yesterday http://tinyurl.com/4pam3ae
Invite us sloggers to the wedding?! :D
Invite us sloggers to the wedding?! :D
49
Visiting a hotel in France with internet, so I thought I'd see what Ol Dan is up to with his constant whines about how it's not FAIR. (Here's a tip. We don't tolerate that from our toddler. Had your parents raised you properly you'd have outgrown that tiresome refrain at 4 rather than still pushing it at, what, 45 or 50?) Having seen, I'm glad we'll be back at the house in Italy with neither internet nor phones on Friday. Depressing that things like Savage have any audience at all, really in what used to be a great nation. Kind of a negative statement on the state of my country, a truly sad one.
But you're right, it isn't fair. It isn't fair that my taxpayer dollars support homosexual perversions under the force of Washington State employment law. It isn't fair that decent moral Americans are called bigots because they call you on your deviancy. It isn't fair that you get a lot of air time spouting your continual efforts to degrade the moral fiber of this country. A whole lot of things aren't fair. That's what adults call 'life.' But you wouldn't know how adults see things, would you Savage? You chose to be a pervert. Now choose to be an adult and accept the consequences. Most people will think you what you are, a deviant and a pervert. Marriage will be forever beyond your grasp in this nation. That is the consequence of YOUR choice. Grow up and quit trying to make decent people like me pay for that choice.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. Marriage will always be between a man and a woman. It has never been anything else, it won't be anything else ever. Twist definitions how you like, that simple fact won't change. The lifelong healthy relationship I have with my wife is a marriage. The perversion you share with your boyfriend is decidedly NOT.
More...
But you're right, it isn't fair. It isn't fair that my taxpayer dollars support homosexual perversions under the force of Washington State employment law. It isn't fair that decent moral Americans are called bigots because they call you on your deviancy. It isn't fair that you get a lot of air time spouting your continual efforts to degrade the moral fiber of this country. A whole lot of things aren't fair. That's what adults call 'life.' But you wouldn't know how adults see things, would you Savage? You chose to be a pervert. Now choose to be an adult and accept the consequences. Most people will think you what you are, a deviant and a pervert. Marriage will be forever beyond your grasp in this nation. That is the consequence of YOUR choice. Grow up and quit trying to make decent people like me pay for that choice.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. Marriage will always be between a man and a woman. It has never been anything else, it won't be anything else ever. Twist definitions how you like, that simple fact won't change. The lifelong healthy relationship I have with my wife is a marriage. The perversion you share with your boyfriend is decidedly NOT.
50
@Seattleblues. Ah, I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but ... Try saying all that to a randomly-chosen French person and see how hard they laugh at you.
51
To hell with The Stranger, Dan. Sign a sweeter deal with Huff/AOL or Slate or wherever you like and give yourself more time to blog, speak, and write books. You don't need the headaches of your editorial and administrative work at the Stranger--let Lindy run the place into the ground.
52
@50
I could hardly care any less what an average Frenchman thinks about US policy regarding marriage, or anything else really. If I want tips on cuisine or the art of choosing a good wine maybe. Discussions about the slower pace of life prevalent in Southern Europe and the advantages of it, sure. But if I want an intelligent discussion on economic theory or the proper role of the state in individuals lives, not so much. If I want a rational take on the proper role of marriage, absolutely not.
I'd wager you would find what you would in Italy and definitely in the United States. Except in large population centers most people are relatively conservative socially. Iowa's proposed law was pushback. Normal people objected to the demands from advocates for special citizen status for gays like Savage. Keep demanding irrational things (like devaluing marriage by making it same sex) from the sane among us, and more pushback will be the inevitable result.
But having said that, no-ones mind will change on anything I write, so I'll wish you adieu.
I could hardly care any less what an average Frenchman thinks about US policy regarding marriage, or anything else really. If I want tips on cuisine or the art of choosing a good wine maybe. Discussions about the slower pace of life prevalent in Southern Europe and the advantages of it, sure. But if I want an intelligent discussion on economic theory or the proper role of the state in individuals lives, not so much. If I want a rational take on the proper role of marriage, absolutely not.
I'd wager you would find what you would in Italy and definitely in the United States. Except in large population centers most people are relatively conservative socially. Iowa's proposed law was pushback. Normal people objected to the demands from advocates for special citizen status for gays like Savage. Keep demanding irrational things (like devaluing marriage by making it same sex) from the sane among us, and more pushback will be the inevitable result.
But having said that, no-ones mind will change on anything I write, so I'll wish you adieu.
53
I could hardly care any less what an average Frenchman thinks about US policy regarding marriage, or anything else really.\
You've made it abundantly clear that you don't care what anyone thinks, or what the facts are, and you've been known to contradict yourself, Seattleblues. If you wanted to change peoples' minds you'd quit lying and actually try to engage people in meaningful discussions.
Which raises the question, why do you even post anything here? It must be because you love the attention.
54
@52 "I could hardly care any less what an average Frenchman thinks..."
On s'en foute de vous également. Bonnes vacances !
On s'en foute de vous également. Bonnes vacances !
55
@Seattleblues:
You promised. And here you are again, clearly drunk or having some sort of psychotic break, because I can't imagine a smart guy like you would forget something like that.
I think what's really bothering you is that in your personal life, people think you're a bit of a nutter, and will no longer engage you in any kind of debate, so you come here. Pity.
Jan 28: On that note, I'll refrain from making any other comments about homosexuality. Clearly, arrogance and some other vices I personally have are a fairly substantial beam in my own eyes.
You promised. And here you are again, clearly drunk or having some sort of psychotic break, because I can't imagine a smart guy like you would forget something like that.
I think what's really bothering you is that in your personal life, people think you're a bit of a nutter, and will no longer engage you in any kind of debate, so you come here. Pity.
57
Grandma is adorable and it's great to see the older generation is capable of change.
@Canuck I think I love you!
@seattleblues If we promise to miss you will you go away?
I'm curious though why so many straight people are so angry at gay people. You don't just disapprove you're angry. I can only guess it's anger from jealousy that gay people have the balls to live their lives as they see fit while people like you are bogged down in artificial rules that, at the the end of the day, don't actually mean anything. I disapprove of the arbitrary rules of religion and think it's silly that people choose to follow them. But I'm certainly not seething with rage over it as you seem to be over homosexuality. Despite the Mike Huckabee-esque 'civilized discussion' tone of your posts the overall tone of your posts is anger and there's a more than a hint of desperation in your attempts to 'reason' with people who don't agree with you.
@Canuck I think I love you!
@seattleblues If we promise to miss you will you go away?
I'm curious though why so many straight people are so angry at gay people. You don't just disapprove you're angry. I can only guess it's anger from jealousy that gay people have the balls to live their lives as they see fit while people like you are bogged down in artificial rules that, at the the end of the day, don't actually mean anything. I disapprove of the arbitrary rules of religion and think it's silly that people choose to follow them. But I'm certainly not seething with rage over it as you seem to be over homosexuality. Despite the Mike Huckabee-esque 'civilized discussion' tone of your posts the overall tone of your posts is anger and there's a more than a hint of desperation in your attempts to 'reason' with people who don't agree with you.
58
@57! I think you're on to something! This baffles me, too. I was reading seattleblue's comments thinking "Why does he even bother? Doesn't he have any better things to do?" I mean, if the subject is so antagonizing to you, why keep hitting yourself with it? There's a ton of blogs out there, might as well focus on the ones you actually enjoy reading.
Life's too short. Way too short.
Life's too short. Way too short.
59
I also don't wish to troll-feed, but, Dan & Terry's unions IS a marriage, for all that it can't be called one yet. They live together, have for many years; love each other, have for many years; have raised a child; I'm sure they occasionally bicker about money and household issues - in short, aside from perhaps a somewhat more liberal set of sexual mores than exists in some hetero marriages*, it's no different. Not at all. Two consenting adults, consenting to be there for each other through good times & bad.
Hey Seatteblues, I think you misunderstand the basic concept of fair. If you love this country as you claim you'd love its freedoms more than your own loathing.
I can't WAIT for the day when this is a non-issue already.
* = I am using purely anecdotal evidence for that idea, mulling over the straight & gay couples I know & their various arrangements w/ each other.
Hey Seatteblues, I think you misunderstand the basic concept of fair. If you love this country as you claim you'd love its freedoms more than your own loathing.
I can't WAIT for the day when this is a non-issue already.
* = I am using purely anecdotal evidence for that idea, mulling over the straight & gay couples I know & their various arrangements w/ each other.
60
capricorn44...xo! And like BEG, I think you're onto something: Despite his twisted views, Seattleblues is clearly intelligent enough to recognize that the world around him is changing, and that he's in the minority. It's like the person who works diligently for the company, buys the company stock, and the day before they retire, discovers the boss has relocated to South America with the company coffers. I think you're right, he's feeling betrayed by the arbitrary limitations he has imposed upon himself (views, religion, etc.) and the only way to justify this is to rail against those who are living life to the fullest. Keep in mind, also, that Seattleblues had to travel to Africa to find a sufficiently subservient Christian wife, as *all* of the women he'd met in the States were too uppity...
61
Ireland's got its own marriage equality grandmother too! An 85 year old mother of 15:
http://bit.ly/mconnolly
http://bit.ly/mconnolly
64
Getting nervous. I even commented for the first time ever today. Refreshed page at least 10 times. Bigger fan than I thought.
65
@63 & 64: On his Facebook page, it shows back to back lectures in different States last night and tonight, so he's no doubt busy. That said, if I had witnessed most of my colleagues either observing radio silence or jumping on the "preach it, sistah!" train, I'd probably take a day off, too. The more I think about how this all played out, the more appalled I am on his behalf. This was never "an argument between friends," despite what staffers are saying, because an argument requires two people who are both aware they are having a debate. If Dan is as nice in person as Dominic and Kim in Portland have recently said (and I'd assume they're both telling the truth), then I am at a loss as to why this played out the way it did. Ugh, I don't even want to read Slog today.
66
@65 and also "an argument between friends" should have been conducted in private. My friends would never do something like this. It seems like Lindy was never interested in hearing his apology or changing his point of view.
I hope Dan is not beating himself up too much. This is a shitty situation for anyone to be in, and he didn't do anything to deserve this.
I hope Dan is not beating himself up too much. This is a shitty situation for anyone to be in, and he didn't do anything to deserve this.
67
I knew it! I fucking knew it! See - he gets this MTV gig & it's goodbye Slog. As I predicted earlier, the MTV thing will lead to a national network gig & before you know it he'll be sitting on one of those TODAY show couches doing one of those stupid ass TODAY show throws a wedding segments. Or worse he'll do a "Where in the World is Dan Savage?" segments. Another bright, creative mind lost to the money & fame of shit stupid morning TV.
The Prophet Paul wrote, "I am leaving. I am leaving. But the fighter still remains." Looks like the fighter is leaving the building.
The Prophet Paul wrote, "I am leaving. I am leaving. But the fighter still remains." Looks like the fighter is leaving the building.
68
That was heartwarming- it brought a tear to my eye. It was a nice follow up for me to see after reading the horror story from the every child deserves a mom and dad feature. I needed a good palette cleanser to clean out my mind's eye and that did it.
69
@ seattleblues. You are staggeringly f**ked up, and do us great nation country a big favor by not talking about your great insights on whatever issues when you are in europe, coz you are truly the shame of our nation. utterly utterly unbelievable.
This is why we still need people like Dan to speak up and wisely use their social capital to influence more people.
This is why we still need people like Dan to speak up and wisely use their social capital to influence more people.
70
This is a testimony to the fact that we can all change and grow, regardless of how, when and where we we are raised. This woman loves her child, and a mother's love is powerful and knows no bounds. I am just thankful she has chosen to share this with the rest of us.
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