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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Vampirism of Big Bad Banks

Posted by on Tue, Jan 11, 2011 at 8:02 AM

Just in the mail...

IMG_20110110_173024.jpg
All I need is a measly 10 grand to get a bonus of 100 bones and good standing with the bank—meaning, an account not nettled with fees? That's it? Good thing I have that exact amount stuffed in my mattress. If the monster that ate WaMu has any other deals, I also have 30 grand concealed in the walls of the bathroom.

 

Comments (36) RSS

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lark 1
Charles,
Yeah, I received that in the mail as well last week. Agree. Quite rapacious of them. It's also enlightening to read the conditions of cashing that check on the reverse. I immediately shredded it.

Posted by lark on January 11, 2011 at 8:23 AM
Fnarf 2
No one else at the Stranger, or any other Seattle paper, would use "nettled with". Bravo, sir.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on January 11, 2011 at 8:37 AM
Keister Button 3
Charles, you might enjoy seeing some of the "text-to-software" YouTube videos by disgruntled Chase employees (Chasesux, Chaseblows123 are indicative userids). The senior personnel are out of touch with reality and believe that anyone and everyone who haven't yet signed up to be leeched by fees and charges just haven't been exposed to their coupon campaigns. They don't accept that people have no money, or that people are aware they have better places to put their money than giant corporo-tapeworms.

I haven't used my Skank of America credit card since 2004. I've called them to explain how the terms could be changed back to the original agreement, to give me an incentive to give them transaction fees through merchants: they tell me they don't negotiate. I've been a cardholder since 2000 and have seen numerous changes to terms and conditions agreements, all anti-consumer changes, no changes making me think it's worth my while to use their card, and they keep sending me cash advance checks. They're waiting for senility or brain damage, I guess.

I know you like to use the vampire metaphor for banks: they're more like tapeworms when you think about it. When you think of your classic vampire, do you imagine a bloated, dysfunctional, nonstop feeding creature? Even a vampire sleeps: the banks do not. Tapeworms grow. Tapeworms offer no value, no glamour, no immortality.
Posted by Keister Button on January 11, 2011 at 8:39 AM
gloomy gus 4
Chiming in to admire "nettled with" also.
Posted by gloomy gus on January 11, 2011 at 8:45 AM
5
We just bailed from Chase to BECU this week, the fees/minimum balances were just too much (we're a former WaMu customer). The BECU person we worked with said she's personally seeing 30 or more Chase converts per week since mid-December when the new fees were announced.
Posted by Liembo on January 11, 2011 at 8:53 AM
Urgutha Forka 6
I got a $100 coupon from Chase to open a plain checking account. I opened it, set up the minimum required direct deposit, waited the minimum six months, collected the free $100, then transferred all the money back to my credit union and closed the Chase account. I don't recall ever even using it.

They never charged me any fees. I got my hundred bucks from them and then said goodbye.

Big banks suck ass, I agree completely, but I thought I'd share anyway.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 11, 2011 at 8:59 AM
DOUG. 7
@6: 2% annual return in the current market is not really money well spent. I'm sure Chase made way more than that on your $10,000.
Posted by DOUG. http://www.dougsvotersguide.com on January 11, 2011 at 9:06 AM
stinkbug 8
Is anyone else nostalgic for the days in which you could make $100 for simply changing long distance carriers?
Posted by stinkbug on January 11, 2011 at 9:16 AM
Urgutha Forka 9
@7,
I didn't have to deposit 10 grand. The coupon I got just required that I open an ordinary checking account with a minimum balance of something like fifteen dollars. I had to have direct deposit of at least $600/month go in, but as soon as it deposited each month, I'd transfer it to my credit union account (for which there were also no fees since I only made one transfer per month).

I'd never have done it if I had to put in any substantial deposit. The one I had essentially did give me $100 with little or no benefit to them.

I haven't seen the same sort of coupon that I had lately, perhaps they realized it was a dumb move on their part?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 11, 2011 at 9:20 AM
10
Now I know where to find Mudede's hidden fortunes! Suit up the team.
Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood on January 11, 2011 at 9:21 AM
11
Got one in the mail also, and ignored it. I keep a Chase account, fed with a small-ish direct deposit from part of my paycheck, just to have free access to their ATM network, and to pay an occasional bill. So far they haven't hit me with any fees, but as soon as they do, I'm gone.

My day-to-day bank is the WA State Employees Credit Union. No fees, great service, and single-digit credit cards; can't be beat. Only downside is the CU ATM network is small, but if you get your walking-around cash by asking for extra at the grocery store, even that is manageable.
Posted by Citizen R on January 11, 2011 at 9:27 AM
12
I fired Chase and moved on over to BECU last week. Chase nettled me and then some. I'm a freelancer, so I can't set up a direct deposit with my employer. If it's too much hassle for Chase to handle my meager savings, I won't burden them with my presence as a customer.
Posted by mouse on January 11, 2011 at 9:28 AM
13
I like the shadowy hand in the picture, very creepy.
Posted by Brandon J. on January 11, 2011 at 9:28 AM
evilvolus 14
There's always money in the Banana Stand...
Posted by evilvolus on January 11, 2011 at 10:01 AM
kk in seattle 15
I wouldn't pine for WaMu much. You might recall the reason WaMu was able to offer so many benefits to its account holders is because it was raking it in on subprime mortgages. Guess that didn't work out very well for them (or their employees, shareholders or creditors), hmm?
Posted by kk in seattle on January 11, 2011 at 10:17 AM
16
I got the same offer from Chase this week - although I "only" had to open an account with $5K in order to get the $100.

I had a similar offer as Urguthe Forks last year - I opened a plain checking account with $100, and was given $150 in interest. I had to make at least 1 direct deposit per month with no minimum- I deposited $5 per paycheck - and keep the account open for 6 months. I just closed the account in December. Not a bad return at all. Seems they have rethought the strings attached to their offers, as I bet a lot of people did the same thing.
Posted by genevieve on January 11, 2011 at 10:24 AM
17
Great. Now some kook is going to tear apart your bathroom when you are not home...
Posted by subwlf on January 11, 2011 at 10:45 AM
18
WaMu wasn't "eaten". It was a poorly and corruptly run business that went bankrupt and was pulled back from the brink by Chase, which saved the jobs of a large chunk of WaMu's employees. I don't understand the loyalty people have for it. Its overdraft fees and the posting order of transactions was outright criminal. WaMu preyed upon poorer customers. People blubber about it being friendly and "local", but WaMu was actually the fifth-largest bank in the nation and partly responsible for the financial crisis. Please stop whining about it getting "eaten".
Posted by RedSonja on January 11, 2011 at 10:45 AM
19
"...and was pulled back from the brink by Chase..."

Oh, give it a frigging rest already, RedSonja stooge!

JPMorgan Chase, the Rockefeller-Morgan owned bankster, picked up Bear Stearns (which they did a bear run on, together with Goldman Sachs & Deutsche Bank, to destroy it so they could borg it) and WaMu so they would grab all their assets, together with destroying a competitor in their forever march to a one world corporation.

In picking up those two (WaMu and Stearns) they picked up ownership in the Plum Creek Corporation (a REIT - which was effectively the largest land owner in the US outside of the goverment, which is private sector owned, BTW), thus making JPMorgan Chase the largest landowner in North America.

People still are absurdly ignorant that the banksters and oil cartel control all the exchanges, clearinghouses, etc., thereby controlling all the markets.

When the same bunch own the government, plus InterContinental Exchange (and all the ICE subsidiaries, ICE Futures, ICE Clear, etc.), plus ICE US Trust (that privately managed and owned clearinghouse which is supposed to "save" us from their credit derivatives control), and Markit Group, and SwapsWire, and ELX Futures, and Regulatory DataCorp, and the Portal, and every-frigging-thing-else, and control the vast majority of those credit derivatives (fantasy finance constructs which allow them to create money out of debt, then push said debt onto the public -- screwing us all to perdition) -- they have the ultimate monopoly of monopolies.

Kindly get a life, or read the very short articles at the two links below:

http://csper.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/mo…

http://csper.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/gl…

More...
Posted by sgt_doom on January 11, 2011 at 11:31 AM
20
Yeah, I don't care how much you hate banks. I'm just sick of misplaced brand loyalty for WaMu. They deserved to go under.
Posted by RedSonja on January 11, 2011 at 11:35 AM
21
The funniest statement from RedSonja, #18 was that WaMu was partly responsible for the financial crises.

That's like blaming a wooden plank for Seattle's Great Fire!

Geez, as much as I despise the likes of Killinger, the Great and Forever Economic Meltdown was brought to us via the chief banksters:

JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Citigroup, BankofAmerica, Blackstone Group, Carlyle Group, Fortress, Citadel, KKR, TPG, etc.

Again, read the articles to begin to attain a semblance of awareness:

http://csper.wordpress.com/2010/08/12/mo…

http://csper.wordpress.com/2010/08/20/gl…

Posted by sgt_doom on January 11, 2011 at 11:35 AM
Will in Seattle 22
Congrats @5!
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 11, 2011 at 11:43 AM
23
To reiterate: WaMu was the fifth-largest bank and one of the institutions repackaging bad debt. How is "partly responsible" not correct? Also, I really don't care that you hate the big banks, just stop making like WaMu wasn't one of them.
Posted by RedSonja on January 11, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Sir Vic 24
@23 Don't bother with sgt_doom. "Greedy Jews" is really the only explanation he has to offer.
Posted by Sir Vic on January 11, 2011 at 12:23 PM
Schmapdi 25
In the last 2 years I've made a little over $12 in interest on my savings account (they keep lowering the rate they give me, now down to .20%)

In that same time period, I've made $30 in promotions on my visa check card/checking account. (They send me these things, where if I make 5 transactions in a month they give me $10 - two of them have been in Decembers!)

My savings balance is 10x my checking balance. I mean seriously bank - wth?
Posted by Schmapdi on January 11, 2011 at 12:51 PM
Schmapdi 26
In the last 2 years I've made a little over $12 in interest on my savings account (they keep lowering the rate they give me, now down to .20%)

In that same time period, I've made $30 in promotions on my visa check card/checking account. (They send me these things, where if I make 5 transactions in a month they give me $10 - two of them have been in Decembers!)

My savings balance is 10x my checking balance. I mean seriously bank - wth?
Posted by Schmapdi on January 11, 2011 at 12:51 PM
27
@18, the WAMU we pine for is the OLD WAMU, when they were known as The Friend of the Family. Competently managed, somewhat conservative in outlook, a comfortable fit for many middle-class Washingtonians. And long before Kerry Killinger ran amok.

Killinger's WAMU failed under, and due to, his incompetent leadership, his ultra-high level of risk-taking, done at the expense of shareholders. Unfortunately, his type of corporate crime doesn't result in prison sentences, no matter how richly deserved.
Posted by Citizen R on January 11, 2011 at 3:28 PM
28
To #24, Sir Vic-Lick --- not quite sure where you are coming from, but then you've never exhibited any independent thought nor logic.

Last time I checked, not a single one of the top five families in North America (who run the region and a sizable chunk of the planet), based upon actual wealth, had a Jewish surname:

Rockefeller family, Morgan family, Du Pont family, Koch family and Peterson family.

(All Christian, last time I checked, also. Not a real Christian, of course, simply the church-going types.)

To #23, Red Sonja, I don't have enough time to cure your extensive ignorance on this subject, assuming such was possible. But try to actually think, for a change.

JPMorgan Chase is where various types of CDOs and their variants originated along with the Credit Default Swap. (JPMorgan Chase is the Rockefeller-Morgan bank, while Citigroup is primarly the Rockefeller bank, which was responsible for the creation of the Structured Investment Vehicle -- that offshore tax-hiding, debt-hiding and capital-hiding vehicle; also the SPE, SPVs, etc., and Citi's subsidiary, Phibro, is one of those players responsible for major speculation on oil and energy and driving up said commodities.)

JPMorgan Chase is also responsible for the latest generation of carbon derivatives (for Europe, cap-and-trade hasn't yet passed in the USA) and have prepared the way with the newest generation of health insurance-based credit derivatives for those upcoming health insurance exchanges (q-Forwards, mortality derivatives, etc.).

JPMorgan Chase makes the big bucks from their tremendous ROI on landmines (it's the Carlyle Group which owns Combined Systems, Inc. which makes those deadly "non-lethal" tear gas cannisters which keep killing Palestinians in Gaza, when shot at them by Israeli troops).

JPMorgan Chase has paid out over $5 billion in the last few years stemming from lawsuits regarding their fraudulent behavior leading to the economic meltdown (including colluding with Enron by hiding billions of dollars of loans to Enron).

JPMorgan Chase is responsible for considerably massive manipulation of the gold market, the silver market, and god knows what else. The Federal Reserve has just been ordered, by one of the few remaining honest judges in America, to turn over their gold records which may finally bring this matter to light (thanks to GATA's FOIA request).

JPMorgan Chase is the major player, along with Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley (with Citigroup and BankofAmerica bringing up the rear) in the creation of those securitized financial instruments, credit derivatives (of which there are thousands upon thousands of categories in existence), which allows them to peddle the modern equivalent of snake oil, securitized debt, to any and all, while they they shovel said debt onto the rest of us, when the bill comes due (in the guise of TARP bank bailouts and other types of bailouts, free money from the Fed, and endless Quantatative Easings).

JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley have been the major force pushing for the removal of all anti-fraud regulation and oversight (as in the Gramm-Leach-Blibley Financial Services Modernization Act, and the Commodity Futures Modernization Act -- which derived from lobbying by their Derivatives Research Group to the US congress) and the legalization of that Ponzi-Tontine scheme of peddling securitized debt to the world --- which has been the principal cost driver in rising housing costs, education costs, auto costs, usurious credit card charges, commercial loan costs, and espcially healthcare costs, as well as in many other areas and sectors of various economies.

WaMu, by comparison to JPMorgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley (which, together with the oil cartel, owns virtually all the exchanges --- ICE, ICE Futures, ICE Clear, ICE US Trust and various other ICE subsidiaries; Climate Exchange PLC, which is the holding company which owns the various climate exchanges throughout the planet, Markit Group, which prices all those questionable credit derivatives, ELX Futures, Regulatory DataCorp, etc., etc., etc.) is barely a speck of dust in the wind.

With Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley leading the way back in 2006, 2007 and 2008, in raising the price of oil to 13.8 times the world consumption price, by massive speculation on ICE Futures (trading various futures back and forth between each other at microsecond speeds; thus incrementally driving up the prices to astronomically speculative prices, then after shorting them, subsequently driving the prices downwards whenever they so desire), the three of them exert enormous power and control over the so-called free markets (as in highly rigged) out there.

Now, your homework assignment is to research the history of the Blackstone Group, how it drove up the price of oil in the '90s by its purchase and subsequent closing of oil refineries; its influence in the privatization of prisons across the country, and the world, how it depleted the tax base of Denmark with its leveraged buyout of TDC there; the number of companies it has destroyed, and therefore the high level of jobs it has likewise destroyed, by enriching its partners with a variety of leveraged buyouts (also known as raping and pillaging).

Also, research the background of its founder, Peter G. Peterson, his lifelong connection to the Rockefeller family, specifically David Rockefeller; how Peterson has striven to destroy any and all possible social safety net features ( in the name of privatization, i.e., handing them over gratis to the corporate swine) as in Social Security, Medicare, etc., and how he was on that Bill Clinton's "commission to end welfare as we know it" -- as well as that commission which fudged for the foundations (also known as tax-free holding companies, their original purpose), and the various astro-turf firms, foundations and organizations he has founded to "manufacture consent" and propagandize the rest of us.

Thank you.
More...
Posted by sgt_doom on January 11, 2011 at 3:38 PM
29
14 ftw!!!!
Posted by heatherly on January 11, 2011 at 3:39 PM
30
Also, @28: I think you probably said a lot of correct things, but I stopped reading after "I don't have enough time to cure your extensive ignorance on this subject, assuming such was possible. But try to actually think, for a change" because you sound like such a jerk. If you want people to ingest your information or even care that you've made information available, then you might try not pushing would-be readers away with such abrasive delivery.
When you speak aggressively, no one hears what you say, because aggression is distracting.
Posted by heatherly on January 11, 2011 at 3:47 PM
31
To #30, heatherly:

You see, I'm not attempting to appeal to the mentally lazy, the feeble-minded, the eternally ignorant.

Yourself, for instance. I'm fed up with the frigging typical Ameritard, who is too damn lazy and allowed their own country to be completely stolen from them over the past 35 frigging years, while they whiled away their time watching the boob tube, or sports, or whatever, dood!

If pissed off at all the twits, twats and twerps out there defines me as a "jerk" to the likes of you, your twitness, I stand proud to be called such.

You know, almost everyday I came by some mindless youngster (20-something category) female who is working on behalf of Wall Street, (trying to make a buck getting donations for one of those useless corporate NGOs who are completely corrupt [exception is Greenpeace, but any donations to them won't accomplish anything by this time] and useless, or worse.

I tried to get their parents involved, predicting one day their children would be unable to get any work in the "America-being-dismantled" society they existed in --- by they yelled and insulted me, or worse, and kept right on spawning.

Screw you and all the other genetic eff-tards who have allowed this country to become what it is today: no economy, no media, just a bunch of useless ratturds too lazy to ever think for themselves.

Go back to your TV watching, dood.
Posted by sgt_doom on January 11, 2011 at 5:48 PM
Keister Button 32
To see if Chase, Bank of America, et al are really vampires. Buy silver. See if that will kill them.
Posted by Keister Button on January 11, 2011 at 8:09 PM
33
wamu was a decent bank before they were repackaging. we did the chase to BECU switch this week as well. when chase took over wamu and promised they wouldn't impose fees, etc. we opted to give it a shot and see if they'd be honest.

fuck 'em.
Posted by mikkelmetal on January 12, 2011 at 1:43 AM
Arboreality 34
I got something similar from Chase a few weeks ago -- if I can promise to keep $1500 in my account at all times, -- OR -- promise to make a monthly one-time deposit of more than $2000, then they won't charge me any fees. That's a target I could attain with my primary account, but I use Chase as a 'spending' account and deposit a limit amount of funds with each paycheck. And on principle, it's effecitvely a tax on poorer folks who may not get a payday of $2000... which is bullshit and I hope someone calls them out on it.

I'm cancelling my account with Chase (I was a WAMU customer) at the end of this month, as soon as my direct deposit transitions to my local credit union.
Posted by Arboreality on January 12, 2011 at 7:58 AM
35
To #30: Heatherly,

Should you ever check back, allow me to rephrase my response to you.

You are making a common error in judgment, aiming your wrath at my revulsion at Red Sonja's remarks -- which was a classic sociopathic reframing -- instead of reflecting upon what that commenter was saying.

Whenever you hear someone discussing the subject of torture, and you hear someone claim that it's really about extracting information, that individual is doing a sociopathic reframing.

Whenever you hear a dicussion of brutal and violent rape, and someone claims, "She was asking for it," that individual is doing a sociopathic reframing.

By Red Sonja's claiming that JPMorgan Chase, the primary predator, was rescuing WaMu, or positing that JPM was being heroic, that commenter was doing a sociopathic reframing of the situation. One hears this on an almost daily basis today in America, and you've probably been hearing it so often that it no longer sounds bizarre -- especially being that America hasn't had a true media for many, many years now.

Instead of directing your anger and annoyance at my revulsion of this classic sociopathic reframing, you should examine those everyday occurrences you are used to accepting at face value, and begin becoming habitually analytical in your pronouncements.

Thank you.
Posted by sgt_doom on January 12, 2011 at 11:53 AM
36
Sorry, I tried to listen, all I heard was you being a jerk! You should really work on this social interaction thing. Try again?
Posted by heatherly on January 19, 2011 at 2:25 PM

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