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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Officewatch 2010™ Officewatch 2010™: Success!... and Defeat

Posted by Grant Brissey on Sun, Dec 26, 2010 at 10:39 PM

After a visit to a very understanding doctor at an urgent care facility, I procured a lovely bottle of Alprazolam for alcohol withdrawals and returned with some tools and a flashlight and set to work on Keck's lock. After quietly picking the knob and two deadbolts, an auxiliary bolt from the top of the door into a latch at the top of the door frame still stopped the door. I unlatched it by sliding my thinnest, sharpest chisel into the space between the top of the door and the bottom of the door frame. Jabbing the sharp corner into the back of the flat bar, I slowly and silently pried it down fractions of an inch at a time. When the work was done, I stealthily turned the knob and delicately pushed opened the door. I peered into the room and turned my gaze upward to the crow's nest entrance. Suddenly I thought I heard a sound from the top of the spiral stairs leading to the nest. Was it a latent hallucination? Was someone lurking up there? It was pitch black to my sight even halfway up the stars, and near pitch black in the hallway where I stood. I closed the door without a sound and returned to lock myself in the web office. I will investigate in the light of the morning. Co-workers are still two days away. For now, goodnight.

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This is some Black Swan shit right here. Let's hope there aren't any glass mirrors in the Stranger offices.

Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on December 26, 2010 at 11:02 PM

You've likely disturbed the beast now there's a good chance that it will slither out of the crow's nest. Luckily, you can locate the beast by its murky singing of the Hall and Oates hit parade.

Posted by flippingthroughrecords on December 26, 2010 at 11:20 PM

"Watch out, boy, she'll chew you up..."

Posted by gloomy gus on December 26, 2010 at 11:37 PM

"And all though the house,
not a creature was stirring,
not even a Brissey?" Hmm.

Posted by Squidia on December 26, 2010 at 11:46 PM

Greetings, boxing day sloggers! Glad to see Grant is still alive, magic is afoot, and headless dolls abound. Obviously, just a regular day at the office. Did everyone survive the holidays with their sanity intact?

Posted by Canuck on December 26, 2010 at 11:49 PM

Yeah, too late. It's got yer scent now.

Posted by drewl on December 26, 2010 at 11:50 PM

Ah Brissey, we hardly knew him. But, we will remember Traffic Watch fondly. Or not.

Posted by gnossos on December 26, 2010 at 11:51 PM

Happy day after boxing day, Canuck. Good night!

Posted by gloomy gus on December 27, 2010 at 12:33 AM

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir... beware.

Posted by samktg on December 27, 2010 at 12:36 AM

Whatever you do, don't look at the Medusa!

Posted by Vince on December 27, 2010 at 4:16 AM

I will investigate in the light of the morning.

Too late for that now. You will not make it to the morning. The dolls...they are coming for you.

Posted by Lynx on December 27, 2010 at 4:20 AM

arent the dolls an peace offering to the beast that lurks upstairs?
i think grant needs to sacrifice an dolls himself and place it outside his office over night.

Posted by dutchie on December 27, 2010 at 4:44 AM

WTF? Ha ha ha!

Posted by Milktoast on December 27, 2010 at 4:57 AM

Maybe it was your DTs.

Posted by Yeek on December 27, 2010 at 6:27 AM

ghosts of interns past

Posted by CommonKnowledge on December 27, 2010 at 7:08 AM

Pussy.

Posted by Banna

on December 27, 2010 at 8:16 AM

Hola, gus! I would have answered last night, but I am apparently in a batcave with sketchy wifi, otherwise known as my neice's bedroom...
When does Grant's intervention start? Should I FedEx donuts?

Posted by Canuck on December 27, 2010 at 8:38 AM