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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Officewatch 2010™ Officewatch 2010™: Day 8, There Are Dolls Everywhere

Posted by Grant Brissey on Sun, Dec 26, 2010 at 1:48 PM

After a 72-hour drunk, during which I subsisted on nothing but sherry, vodka, bourbon, Relentless™ energy drink, and baby carrots, I awoke under my desk only to find some most perplexing developments. First item, at my desk:

Second, someone has posted a jumble of nonsense from my account.

Third, walking amongst the empty bottles and refuse strewn about the hallways, I have discovered that the dolls are multiplying:

This one, perched above Charles's nest:

This dead one in editorial:

Hiding amidst my dwindling supply of Relentless™, with some mark on its face:

Hiding in the shadows of the eerie, amatuerish busts at the base of the stairs to production:

And finally, this one, beheaded, standing directly in front of the door to Tim Keck's office:

I now know what I must do.

UPDATE: I'm off to the locksmith directly after I dive into Anthony's bottle of Jameson 12 Year and get rid of these cobwebs in my head.

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Comments (15) RSS

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Go to detox?

Posted by Vince on December 26, 2010 at 1:59 PM

That Jameson may not clear those cobwebs, but it will moisten them nicely.

Posted by gloomy gus on December 26, 2010 at 2:17 PM

Remind me to never drink alone with Grant.

Posted by samktg on December 26, 2010 at 2:19 PM

Somebody should tell him that this isn't Day 8.

Oh, what the fuck, let him think it is. It's more fun that way.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on December 26, 2010 at 2:49 PM

Why do I get the feeling that between Charles and Grant we're getting the very first live-blogged horror show?

Two deeply strange men are left alone, all alone, in an office. As the hours and days stretch on, exhaustion and alcohol take their toll, strange and increasingly horrifying things start happening....

Posted by Lynx on December 26, 2010 at 3:00 PM

@5 FTW

Posted by Partly Cloudy on December 26, 2010 at 3:06 PM

Charles isn't in the office. Keep up.

Posted by gloomy gus on December 26, 2010 at 3:08 PM

So this is all just an ad for Relentless?

Posted by care bear on December 26, 2010 at 3:12 PM

This reminds me of a creepy re-make of the film "Toy Soldiers". You just need to pit these dolls against some good-natured aliens and see who comes out on top.

Posted by Guerillacropolis

on December 26, 2010 at 3:47 PM

Headless doll, doll needs head. Grant isn't going to get a locksmith, he's headed to the arboretum

Posted by Baconcat on December 26, 2010 at 4:15 PM

I fear when the staff returns they find Grant's flat, dessicated and feces-stained corpse stuck to the carpet, surrounded by chewed dolls and regurgitated doll bits. I've seen this happen before.

Posted by Puty on December 26, 2010 at 7:28 PM

they'll* find

Posted by Puty on December 26, 2010 at 7:58 PM

this lame, sophomoric jerk-off drivel is stinking up the slog something terrible. it is truly junior high school level, and it's starting to dominate the site's entire tone. it's not funny. it really makes you look like a bunch of assholes. a shame.

Posted by pleasestop on December 26, 2010 at 8:21 PM

@13 oh whatever you silly twat. We're having fun. Don't like it? Find another sandbox.

Posted by gnossos on December 26, 2010 at 9:12 PM