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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Officewatch 2010™: The Crow's Nest

Posted by on Wed, Dec 22, 2010 at 3:41 PM

crowsnest.jpg

Later today I will attempt to break into Tim Keck's office, which gives access to the Crow's Nest, where Keck is sure to have all manner of contraband stockpiled in preparation for what he continually refers to as "the impending apocalypse." I will report on my discoveries.

UPDATE: I have picked more than one lock in my time, but tonight I was electrocuted at least once during my attempts. I have no source of light other than a cell phone, and my tools have proved inadequate. Tomorrow I will venture out of the office to visit a locksmith and resume undaunted.

 

Comments (27) RSS

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despicable me 1
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
Posted by despicable me on December 22, 2010 at 3:51 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 2
Oh there will be pics.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on December 22, 2010 at 3:53 PM · Report this
Dee 3
I am quite sincerely looking forward to the report, and the rest of the Officewatch series this year.
Posted by Dee on December 22, 2010 at 3:55 PM · Report this
4
The crow's nest is where the building owners, the Ellison family that founded Value Village, keep their own Scooty Girl, Cousin Darla. She's 42, so quite a bit bigger than the Scooty Girl Humpy wrote about. Faster, too.

And she's grown so hungry for love. Be careful, young man.
Posted by gloomy gus on December 22, 2010 at 3:55 PM · Report this
lukeiscool 5
I'm staying at least 5 blocks away from that corner until everyone has returned to the office. I fear the mental state of a 5 day-in-a-row drunk Brissey in a crow's nest with god knows what type of ammunition.
Posted by lukeiscool on December 22, 2010 at 3:57 PM · Report this
Partly Cloudy 6
That "crow's nest" looks absolutely diminutive from my gentrified roost at the Packard Building.
Posted by Partly Cloudy on December 22, 2010 at 4:08 PM · Report this
merry 7
I sure hope this isn't a bust like Geraldo w/Al Capone's safe......
Posted by merry on December 22, 2010 at 4:08 PM · Report this
Simone 8
That looks like a little cabin/guest room that one could put in their backyard.
Posted by Simone on December 22, 2010 at 4:15 PM · Report this
Fnarf 9
I'm it's just a few moldy copies of Oui Magazine from the 70s and a bottle of Skin-So-Soft.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on December 22, 2010 at 4:23 PM · Report this
sikandro 10
I reccomend using a bump key.
Posted by sikandro on December 22, 2010 at 4:35 PM · Report this
sheschemes 11
I could only be more excited about Officewatch 2010 if you told us what kind of liquor will be consumed this year.
Posted by sheschemes on December 22, 2010 at 4:44 PM · Report this
merry 12
There should totally be a poll about this.
Posted by merry on December 22, 2010 at 4:44 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 13
@ 11: On the menu tonight is a combination of bourbon, vodka, and Relentless™ energy drink, because that is what I have scavenged from the office so far. I do not know what the future holds.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on December 22, 2010 at 4:59 PM · Report this
michaelp 14
Grant - head over to Purr later on, and I'll get you a drink...well, not really...but seeing you all drunk around prissy fags would be entertaining ;-)
Posted by michaelp on December 22, 2010 at 5:05 PM · Report this
Canuck 15
You are awesome, Grant Brissey. Mr. Canuck is driving me INSANE, so I have hidden in the bedroom with my laptop, and will be checking for updates, 13 dinner guests notwithstanding.

gus, I have read this book, it turns out badly, DO NOT go in the attic...
Posted by Canuck on December 22, 2010 at 5:08 PM · Report this
treacle 16
If you don't get in today, Grant, buzz me tomorrow. I work real close. I'll bring my lockpick kit and we'll make it happen.
Posted by treacle on December 22, 2010 at 5:14 PM · Report this
Fnarf 17
@13, what, is the Zima all gone?
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on December 22, 2010 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 18
@ Fnarf: There is a trace amount of Rize left, but I will only dip into that if things get really desperate.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on December 22, 2010 at 5:30 PM · Report this
19
Har, har! Everything about the Stranger staff, topped by Dan Savage himself of course, is just so darn interesting!

Can't wait to see Dan Keck's designer clothes and payroll records on the sweatshop pays whoever still works for him. Tim Keck, hipster.
Posted by More, more! on December 22, 2010 at 5:41 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 20
I will assume that all the Four Loko was consumed on election night?
Posted by Reverse Polarity on December 22, 2010 at 6:13 PM · Report this
Baconcat 21
I had sex on Keck's desk
Posted by Baconcat on December 22, 2010 at 7:27 PM · Report this
22
Is this legal?
Posted by idaho on December 22, 2010 at 7:58 PM · Report this
23
there better be a corpse before this is all over.
Posted by paulus on December 22, 2010 at 8:38 PM · Report this
flippingthroughrecords 24
Need more bourbon for ol' Chaucer?
Posted by flippingthroughrecords on December 22, 2010 at 9:36 PM · Report this
coolio 25
There is a sixer of warm Heiniken stashed on the bookshelf next to my desk up in production. You are welcome to it.
Keep up the good work!
Posted by coolio on December 23, 2010 at 11:01 AM · Report this
Grant Brissey, Emeritus 26
@25: Thank you. Your offer will not be in vain.
Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus http://www.grantropolis.com/ on December 23, 2010 at 11:29 AM · Report this
Dougsf 27
I think I'm seeing some Holiday love here that no one chimed in with a "shocked—you were shocked, not electrocuted."
Posted by Dougsf on December 23, 2010 at 12:24 PM · Report this

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