Slog
News & ArtsFriday, December 3, 2010
Bieber Fever Justin Bieber's Hot New Pedo-stache!
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Dec 3, 2010 at 4:53 PM
First Justin Bieber switches hairstyles—now he's sporting a pedo-stache??
Okay, nobody panic! According to the Daily Mail, Das Beebs drew his pedo-stache on with a marker while having fun at a restaurant in England—but you have to admit he looks totally David Niven-ish, doesn't he? Anyway, fake or not, the way I see it? If Justin Bieber gets a new hairstyle and mustache, then WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY GETS A NEW HAIRSTYLE AND MUSTACHE!
Check it out after the jump!
- Tim Gunther Photography
3
When I was in High School, I was in what was called a swing choir. It was sort of the real-life, small town version of Glee, complete with a grueling audition (straight out of the John Water's version of "Hairspray", where you were judged on your poise by the outgoing seniors), and all sorts of uniforms and costumes that had to be hand sewn.
But it should be said that we were good, and won all sorts of competitions.
It was headed up by a character vry much like Jane Lynch's character in Glee, and had the gayest choreographer this side of Broadway. He was flamboyant and flirty and, on occassion, a little more than just flirty. Why he was never fired I will never know. I think he was just too far on the gay scale for that little town to recognize. Plus, no one wanted to mess with our success.
Being in the choir was prestigious and stressful: You had to keep your grades up, keep your haircut a certain way, keep a full performance schedule. Most of all, you had to keep the manic choir director happy, and the choreographer's hands off you, but it was good discipline and, on many occassions, fun.
The reason why I tell you this is the fall semester of Freshman year in college. I grew a mustache quite similar to little Justin's. I returned home for Thanksgiving and went to visit the old school (We had choir reunions. People who had been out of school for ten years went. You were supposed to remember your old numbers. It was really sort of cultish).
The choir director was there. He took one look at me and said "Your moustache is absolutely ridiculous."
Lesser people might have crumbled. I went to the restroom, looked in the mirror, and thought "You know, he's right". I went home and shaved, and never went back to another reunion.
He died last month. Those were his last words to me, and probably the wisest.
Lose it, Justin.
More...
But it should be said that we were good, and won all sorts of competitions.
It was headed up by a character vry much like Jane Lynch's character in Glee, and had the gayest choreographer this side of Broadway. He was flamboyant and flirty and, on occassion, a little more than just flirty. Why he was never fired I will never know. I think he was just too far on the gay scale for that little town to recognize. Plus, no one wanted to mess with our success.
Being in the choir was prestigious and stressful: You had to keep your grades up, keep your haircut a certain way, keep a full performance schedule. Most of all, you had to keep the manic choir director happy, and the choreographer's hands off you, but it was good discipline and, on many occassions, fun.
The reason why I tell you this is the fall semester of Freshman year in college. I grew a mustache quite similar to little Justin's. I returned home for Thanksgiving and went to visit the old school (We had choir reunions. People who had been out of school for ten years went. You were supposed to remember your old numbers. It was really sort of cultish).
The choir director was there. He took one look at me and said "Your moustache is absolutely ridiculous."
Lesser people might have crumbled. I went to the restroom, looked in the mirror, and thought "You know, he's right". I went home and shaved, and never went back to another reunion.
He died last month. Those were his last words to me, and probably the wisest.
Lose it, Justin.
6
That just looks like a statutory rapist (Justin Beaver, spelled wrong on purpose) and an Uncle Pervy...my eyes have yet again been burnt with an image that will take months to get rid of..
9
Get creeped out all you want. I'm not creeped out at all. Humpy's work of late is just boring, unimaginative, repetitive, predictable and disruptive.
Dude, is your heart not in it anymore? I hope you're not battling depression or cancer. I hope you're just over it all or something because-and I mean this-you used to be funny and I liked your old work but you've been awful for about 2 years running. I guess I should just ignore your contributions and not comment on them at this point.
Alert me when you're funny again.
Dude, is your heart not in it anymore? I hope you're not battling depression or cancer. I hope you're just over it all or something because-and I mean this-you used to be funny and I liked your old work but you've been awful for about 2 years running. I guess I should just ignore your contributions and not comment on them at this point.
Alert me when you're funny again.
11
Catalina, how I love you. And Hump, sir, I thank you for bringing David Niven to Slog. Long overdue, says me.
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