Slog
News & ArtsFriday, December 3, 2010
Bieber Fever Another Reason Justin Bieber is Better than You...
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, Dec 3, 2010 at 9:04 AM
... he can solve a Rubik's Cube in under 90 seconds! WATCH!!
However, you're still better than him in the "doesn't wear a leather coat with the collar turned up instead of a shirt" department. SO THERE'S THAT!
TEENY-TINY POSTSCRIPT: On its YouTube homepage, this video currently has 350 "likes" and 475 "dislikes." WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??
1
Re: Teeny-Tiny Postscript
You *have* been around the vapid, muppethead millenials, right? This is how they commune. I fear the future.
You *have* been around the vapid, muppethead millenials, right? This is how they commune. I fear the future.
4
He isn't going to turn into Michael Jackson, is he?
For now, I'm impressed he said "Aqui Esta!" when he finished.
For now, I'm impressed he said "Aqui Esta!" when he finished.
6
Is there NEVER a responsible adult near this boy? Any number of them would immediately walk up and brush his hair back.
7
You people hated all the tween pop stars before him just as much. And you will act like whatever tween pop star comes along after him is the most heinous being ever, forgetting everything you said before. Which tells us that it has nothing to do with anything the tween pop star ever did or didn't do. It's just that you carry around this special kind of hate your whole life and have to find a target for it.
8
To answer your question about what is wrong with us people, it is this... I'm not a fan, but I personally bear no ill will towards Justin Bieber whatsoever, he's just a kid after all, but I find the minions of adoring fans a tad annoying. I especially find the full grown men who go, and I quote: "SQUEEEEEE!!!" and then use text message shorthand while referring to said kid particularly creepy. If I was any more immature and actually bothered to watch the video, then I would probably add to the dislikes just to upset the creeps and superfans.
10
@7 You're giving many of us far too much credit. To hate something is to love it in reverse - and both require far more effort than this particular subject is worth. My own primary reaction to things like this is generally indifference, or maybe smug cheerlessness if I can muster the energy.
11
@7 is exactly right.
Think about how hard you sneer at this kid, when he's about as inoffensive as it gets. Think about the hundreds and thousands of shithead celebrities who deserve it far more. Bieber does what he does, he is what he is, and he's not hurting you a bit. And the little girls turn out to be right more often than you do.
Is Bieber a Khardashian? Is he Jon and Kate Gosselin? Is he Spencer and Heidi, Bristol Palin, Brandon and Jason Davis, Lindsey Lohan? He's not a bad kid. He works hard. Girls like him.Pretty smart, well-grounded, not a fuckup. And while his records might not be your cup of tea, they're better than a lot of Famous Icons's I could name. Would you seriously rather listen to Kesha?
Think about how hard you sneer at this kid, when he's about as inoffensive as it gets. Think about the hundreds and thousands of shithead celebrities who deserve it far more. Bieber does what he does, he is what he is, and he's not hurting you a bit. And the little girls turn out to be right more often than you do.
Is Bieber a Khardashian? Is he Jon and Kate Gosselin? Is he Spencer and Heidi, Bristol Palin, Brandon and Jason Davis, Lindsey Lohan? He's not a bad kid. He works hard. Girls like him.Pretty smart, well-grounded, not a fuckup. And while his records might not be your cup of tea, they're better than a lot of Famous Icons's I could name. Would you seriously rather listen to Kesha?
13
OK..OK, I'm impressed.
It's my guess that most of The Beebs detractors (I amongst them) are more or less jealous - lousy, wicked jealous - that he's managed to tap into all that pre-pubie pussy sweat which has, when you think about it, always been very, very lucrative if you hit the right tweenie buttons: MJ, Donny, David Cassidy, on and on. And we're jealous, aren't we, not because fifty million 12-year-old girls want to play with our genitals. We're jealous because JB is - what? - 8 (16, actually) and when his fire dies down (which it will most surely do), the little dweeb will - unless he manages unwisely - not only never have to work another day in his life, but will be very, very, VERY comfortable.
I hate him, but I am impressed.
It's my guess that most of The Beebs detractors (I amongst them) are more or less jealous - lousy, wicked jealous - that he's managed to tap into all that pre-pubie pussy sweat which has, when you think about it, always been very, very lucrative if you hit the right tweenie buttons: MJ, Donny, David Cassidy, on and on. And we're jealous, aren't we, not because fifty million 12-year-old girls want to play with our genitals. We're jealous because JB is - what? - 8 (16, actually) and when his fire dies down (which it will most surely do), the little dweeb will - unless he manages unwisely - not only never have to work another day in his life, but will be very, very, VERY comfortable.
I hate him, but I am impressed.
14
Not impressed. All you need is the code to solving Rubik's Cube and you're set. The kid is 16 what else is he going to do (ahem) when not manufacturing bubblegum pop?
@6 and to dress the wee laddie. My OCD will be brushing his hair back until someone hands him a comb. Seriously, nightmares of made of this.
@6 and to dress the wee laddie. My OCD will be brushing his hair back until someone hands him a comb. Seriously, nightmares of made of this.
16
I think Justin Bieber has just destroyed the friendship of two teenage girls with a rubix cube ... that's actually kind of impressive.
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