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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sex / Books And The Winner of the 2010 Bad Sex in Fiction Award Goes To...

Posted by Paul Constant on Tue, Nov 30, 2010 at 12:27 PM

...The Shape of Her by Rowan Somerville. Here's an excerpt:

He caught her rhythm, pulling and releasing, cradling and crushing; pushing up through his fingers with each swing, mining up, like an otter through wet sand. Her sounds shifted from moans to grunts, insistent, almost desperate cries from the throat … He unbuttoned the front of her shirt and pulled it to the side so that her breast was uncovered, her nipple poking out, upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing in the night. He took it between his lips and sucked the salt from her. He hooked his fingers into her waistband, caught the elastic of her underwear and began pulling down. The knot on her light cotton trousers held fast as the fabric reached the curve of her backside. She twisted from him and stepped back.

The books that Somerville bested (including Jonathan Franzen!) are here. You can read more bad sex scenes from The Shape of Her at The Guardian. They also raise a great question: Why is there not a good sex in fiction award? Rather than just snickering at embarrassing efforts, it seems as though sexy, literate love scenes should be rewarded, too.

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Comments (14) RSS

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Wait, she was grunting (ew) before he even got her clothes off? Dude has some mad skillzs, as the kids say. Want good, randy hetero sex scenes? Emma Holly. Good M/M sex scenes? Josh Lanyon. Just trying to help, as an old English major, it's kind of my duty...

Posted by Canuck on November 30, 2010 at 12:36 PM

Bad as that section is, the bit about the lepidopterist was even more bizarre. What editor let that slide?

Posted by Griffin on November 30, 2010 at 12:44 PM

Canuck, you are a hero. If there were an award for helping people find good sex in fiction while others just complain about there being no award for good sex in fiction, I would award it to you.

Posted by gloomy gus on November 30, 2010 at 12:50 PM

I hate this crap! That's why Lauren Dane has the best books ever! Her women aren't simpid and in need of rescue, they are sex positive, and there is no silly purple prose. Not a single "heaving flower" to be found in her books.

Check it out!

Paul, you all should feature her! I have her contact info...

Posted by Christi S on November 30, 2010 at 1:05 PM

#2, I think it was a half-assed attempt at a Nabokov reference (because, you know, that'll save even the worst sex scene, right?)

Posted by Crown Hill Repeater on November 30, 2010 at 1:06 PM

Salon asked the same question this morning.

Posted by laterite on November 30, 2010 at 1:07 PM

Thank you, gus, it's nice to have my rather odd skills appreciated, rather than whispered about over coffee as the neighbourhood cautionary tale...and may I just take a minute to point out the immense gratitude of my friends' husbands who were delighted by the side effects of their wives reading erotica rather than cookbooks...

Posted by Canuck on November 30, 2010 at 1:18 PM

literotica.com has contests and awards all the time for good erotic writing.

Posted by OuterCow on November 30, 2010 at 1:19 PM

I think she's a mermaid. That would explain so much.

Posted by Vince on November 30, 2010 at 1:24 PM

@9. Or a vole...

Posted by Canuck on November 30, 2010 at 1:26 PM

A casual reading suggests not sex at all but a serial killer raping a corpse in a shallow grave.

Posted by Fnarf

on November 30, 2010 at 1:46 PM

"the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal"? That, right there, is the single weirdest simile for a nipple I've ever seen. What, it has nostrils and cute whiskers?

Posted by Geni on November 30, 2010 at 2:14 PM