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News & ArtsWednesday, November 24, 2010
Books This Way, If the Percentages Are Low, You Don't Have to Actually Bother Writing the Book
Posted by Paul Constant on Wed, Nov 24, 2010 at 11:28 AM
As you are winding down for your holiday weekend, perhaps you would like to take a moment or two to plug your imaginary memoir's title into the Titlescorer from online self-publisher Lulu. It tells you how likely your book is to be a bestseller, based on its title.
The Titlescorer is never wrong.
1
The title Rush Limbaugh's Sexual Habits has a 14.6% chance of being a bestselling title!Seems a bit high.
2
The title Uncle Tom's Cabin has a 69.0% chance of being a bestselling title!
The title The Criminal History of the Toxic Shoxx Scooter Club has a 10.2% chance of being a bestselling title!
The title The Criminal History of the Toxic Shoxx Scooter Club has a 10.2% chance of being a bestselling title!
4
Apparently, any string of random characters will result in a 10.2% score, unless it has certain keywords.
Meaning 10.2% of books are bestsellers. Or this site is a load of crap.
Meaning 10.2% of books are bestsellers. Or this site is a load of crap.
5
The title My Balls: A Compleat History has a 10.2% chance of being a bestselling title!
But . . .
The title My Sweaty Balls has a 41.4% chance of being a bestselling title!
Thank you Lulu!
But . . .
The title My Sweaty Balls has a 41.4% chance of being a bestselling title!
Thank you Lulu!
6
Sadly "I Wanna Pee on your Mom" only has a 10.2% chance of being a best seller. But it's better than nothing, right?
7
"Dawneater" has a 35.9 chance of being a bestselling title.
I better finish my novel, then; I like them odds.
I better finish my novel, then; I like them odds.
8
My upcoming memoir is going to do better than I thought:
The title "Asshole: My Years As A Teenager" has a 10.2% chance of being a bestselling title!
The title "Asshole: My Years As A Teenager" has a 10.2% chance of being a bestselling title!
9
Masturbating the Holidays Away has a 44.2% chance of being a bestselling title! Unfortunately, there was no way to tell the tool that it will be a picture book, so I think I might not be getting an accurate score.
15
Anything with a "figurative" title that is of the "The _ of _ " type automatically scores 69%. For example, my forthcoming book titled "The The of The" has a 69% chance of becoming a bestseller.
16
I'd agree with the three examples Constant cited if the chances were of them being READ. I can't imagine a high percentage actually finished those books.
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