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This fall has seen publication of two instant classics of a very particular genre: the memoir written by a privileged white man who has no understanding of, or concern for, the consequences of his actions. Assholes Finish First, the second memoir by online douchelebrity Tucker Max, was published in September. Decision Points, George W. Bush's autobiography, came out last week. (It's interesting to note that the titles of these books are completely interchangeable; in fact, Assholes Finish First by George W. Bush would at least have been a refreshing example of truth in advertising.) When read together—one hundred pages of one, then one hundred pages of the other, alternating back and forth for 900 pages—they form a nearly seamless biography of a single human being, a sociopathic, overentitled bro who takes a sadistic glee in his own monstrous behavioral flaws.

The similarities are stunning: Both men write their autobiographies as a series of battles against ignorant foes who cross them (Bush's foes are the media, Democrats, Republicans, terrorists, foreigners, Kanye West, and basically every other human being in the world at one time or another; Max's foes are women, especially if they are overweight or ugly). Both men operate under the assumption that they are always right. Neither shows any real sorrow for his evil actions. And neither one can write.

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