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News & ArtsMonday, November 22, 2010
Panic Hey, Liquor Store—Fuck You!
Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Mon, Nov 22, 2010 at 7:07 PM
You usually work til about 7:00 but tonight you left at 6:00 to give you enough time to stop by the state-owned liquor store on your way home—the state-owned liquor store that closes at 9 pm, which you know because you go there constantly, after all, considering the state's monopoly on the business, there isn't anywhere else to buy whisk—guh?
You've turned the corner. The store's lights are out. It's 6:07 pm.
You approach the store. There is a sign on the door, printed on a sheet of white paper, that says that "due to weather conditions" the store will be closing at 7 pm tonight—annoying enough in its own right—but then (THEN!) someone at the store has morphed the 7 into a 6 with a sharpie because they wanted to go home at 6 pm instead—nevermind that due to weather conditions every adult in the neighborhood wants to buy a fucking bottle of whiskey and that this is the only fucking place to do that because of the fucking state monopoly on fucking liquor. (WHICH IS A LEGAL SUBSTANCE!) If fucking I-1100 had passed the neighborhood would fill up with non-shitty, owned-by-people-who-live-in-the-neighborhood, open-at-whatever-times-they-wanted liquor stores where an adult might be able to, say, buy a bottle of liquor at 6:07 pm after work in the middle of a fucking blizzard.
You stand outside the store, the snow blowing sideways into your face and blowing HARD, so each little snowflake hurts, feels like daggers to your eyes and cheeks and nostrils and the cracks in your chapped fucking lips. You already almost ate shit twice just walking the two blocks to the store, and now you are looking at a dark store and two employees with their backs to you while they count their tills because—well, they already bought their liquor, they don't need the store to be open anymore, they're going HOME!! You? You want some? Sorry, pal. The store's closed. Complain to the union. Complain to the legislature. Complain to the liquor control board. See if that gets you anywhere.
1
Capitalism and liquor, two great tastes that taste great together
this is a non-ironic post in case anyone was wondering
this is a non-ironic post in case anyone was wondering
2
Are you sure you didn't get there before they closed and drank the entire bottle without remembering? Because I gotta tell you, it sure sounds to me like you've had a nip or three.
4
I was afraid of this happening and stocked up earlier today. Perhaps, people will remember the snowy night of 22 November next time they vote.
5
Geez, and you call us socialists...if you closed our private liquor stores there'd be rioting in the streets.
10
This is why ADULTS have this thing in their homes called a BAR, wherein they store sufficient quantities of potables to get them through long, cold, snowy winter evenings.
Or, barring that a theatre - located conveniently close to SOMEONE'S place of employ - which also itself has a fully-stocked bar.
If you're still stuck on the Hill, you should stop on by...
Or, barring that a theatre - located conveniently close to SOMEONE'S place of employ - which also itself has a fully-stocked bar.
If you're still stuck on the Hill, you should stop on by...
11
And that is why I keep my liquor cabinet stocked. Wanting to drink and wanting to go to the liquor store are usually mutually exclusive.
12
I feel your pain (though I have to admit that last sip of scotch kind of took the edge off it...)
13
I remember being 21 or 22 and realizing that July 4 was a Sunday and my friends and I had not planned ahead for our party. We ended up drinking 40s we bought a supermarket in Puyallup (100% class!). Cheer up, you can always get decent wine and/or beer at the QFC.
14
I remember being 21 or 22 and realizing that July 4 was a Sunday and my friends and I had not planned ahead for our party. We ended up drinking 40s we bought a supermarket in Puyallup (100% class!). Cheer up, you can always get decent wine and/or beer at the QFC.
15
I feel for you, sir, but your neighborhood bars have stocked up for you, and would be delighted to share.
17
QFC should be stocking gluhwein right about now. It's no whiskey, but it should warm you up fine.
I'm glad I didn't even venture to my liquor store. The nearest to me is at least a mile away. Sure would be nice to walk two blocks to my nearest Safeway instead.
I'm glad I didn't even venture to my liquor store. The nearest to me is at least a mile away. Sure would be nice to walk two blocks to my nearest Safeway instead.
18
Fuck you, drink a beer. By not passing I-1100, we avoided more lay offs in an adverse economy, and the state's budget is that less bleaker. Stock up next time.
20
I took two buses to get to the one on 23rd today because it was the closest one that actually had the kind of booze I wanted. Unfortunately I got there a little after 10. I didn't realize that it wouldn't FUCKING open until 11, so I gave up and went home.
Fucking hate the stupid liquor monopoly.
Fucking hate the stupid liquor monopoly.
21
A recovering alcoholic friend once told me that alcoholics are the most self absorbed people on the planet.
22
Plus, how sad that your last post before leaving work was that crappy "two websites say different things" non-story.
And @19, if that's you, Luby, a) nice work going outside to gather facts for Christopher on today's murder, and b) scabby scab sir scabsalot.
And @19, if that's you, Luby, a) nice work going outside to gather facts for Christopher on today's murder, and b) scabby scab sir scabsalot.
23
@Frizzelle, @3, @17 - You realize that even if 1100 had passed, the deregulation would not have taken place yet? @8 has it right, you had several days notice to get to the liquor store, no pity from me.
26
Ummmm.... were the other stores out of wine and beer to get your buzz on???? It's not like there's any shortage of alcohol on the market. Geeshz. (from one opposed to the State 'monopoly').
27
It's cold here in Los Angeles today too -- barely hit 64 today -- but we've got plenty of booze at the nearby safeway and albertsons and the two neighborhood liquor stores... and the state makes plenty of money on the taxes... I feel for WA...
30
I finished my Peppermint Schnapps last week and I was at the liquor store in Wallingford at 6:15 to see that they didn't fucking the turn the "Open" sign off. I was pissed to see that they closed and noticed the staff in the back just doing their thing. Fuck the WSLCB. I'd love to be able to buy things like Schnapps from the QFC or even Trader Joe's. Fuck the fact that it'll lay people off. If you think about it, these people could actually start their own liquor stores with the knowledge they've acquired about liquor and find jobs in the private sector as either specialty clerks or buyers/distributors.
33
The other thing that is fabulous about this post is the condemnation of those overprivileged liquor store employees. Lord knows they weren't, say, closing early so that they had a chance to drive out to whatever distant place they can afford to live, maybe. Nope, they were cackling as they closed early to goof off for the next few hours. "Screw Christopher Frizzelle!"
35
Bummer re closed liquor store. I'm sorry. This is why I have my collection, a dozen or more bottles of whisky: Bourbons, Ryes, Scotch (Islay and Highland), Irish and I would happily share with you. So this double finger of Basil Hayden's is in your honor, Christopher. I wish I could pour you one.
36
isn't the fact that Christopher is being choosy about the kind of alcohol he wants to drink some sort of proof that this isn't purely addiction talking?
38
Got myself a medical marijuana card for that pain I always have, and now I can get my poison via private non-state dispensary.
39
"A recovering alcoholic friend once told me that alcoholics are the most self absorbed people on the planet. "
Besides those people who bore you to death telling you about their "recovery", that is....
I agree with Christopher's main premise: if we had private liquor stores, we wouldn't have to deal with weenie clerks. Even the unionized grocery stores (and I'm looking at you, intern) would be open. Despite all the earnest TV ads with all the somber cops and EMT's telling you about the time the Homecoming Queen died.
... And we'd be collecting all that tax revenue.
Besides those people who bore you to death telling you about their "recovery", that is....
I agree with Christopher's main premise: if we had private liquor stores, we wouldn't have to deal with weenie clerks. Even the unionized grocery stores (and I'm looking at you, intern) would be open. Despite all the earnest TV ads with all the somber cops and EMT's telling you about the time the Homecoming Queen died.
... And we'd be collecting all that tax revenue.
40
And so yet another formerly reliable supporter of the party of the state workers' paradise is lost to the dark side...
42
@26: another Puritan scold who thinks the only reason anyone would ever take a drink of whisky is to get hammered beyond oblivion as quickly as possible (and presumably weep with shame afterwards).
I've said it before: the least important thing in a bottle of Ardbeg or Ragged Mountain or Herradura or Elijah Craig or Midleton Irish Whiskey or Chateau de Lacaze Armagnac is the alcohol.
Sadly, the scolds run our liquor stores and our state.
I've said it before: the least important thing in a bottle of Ardbeg or Ragged Mountain or Herradura or Elijah Craig or Midleton Irish Whiskey or Chateau de Lacaze Armagnac is the alcohol.
Sadly, the scolds run our liquor stores and our state.
43
Yes, if 1100 had passed there would be neighborhood ownership of all the liquor stores. I like the way you put that in there to try to keep people from thinking of the private liquor store employees who would be forced to stay working, under threat of being fired, instead of trying to get home before roads to their homes became completely impassable. Sheesh. This only happens at most 2 or 3 times as year, and last year didn't happen at all. alcoholic or neurotic? whatever...
Did you look at the post below of the 4wdrive suv that slid down the frickin hill?
Did you look at the post below of the 4wdrive suv that slid down the frickin hill?
44
Maybe the best thing would have been if Mayor McGin wasn't out getting drunk. Then there'd have been a real attack on the ice, and the liquor store would've been open. McGin needs to put the citizenry's drunk ahead of his own.
45
Know how this is going to turn out don't ya? McGinn is going to lose the next election in the primary because he didn't keep the roads clear enough for the liquor stores to stay open.
46
You want privatized liquor, you gotta give us a state income tax for the wealthy! @18 @32 are pointing in the right direction. Liquor taxes subsidize public services, like education and human services. The states in a huge budget crisis, and you're selfish about your whiskey you forgot to buy yesterday!?!?! Grow up and be a real alcoholic!
47
Christopher, I would have come to get you in my Snow Cat and filled your gullet with Talisker and caviar. If you'd only called...
48
Yesterday, on the news, they said it was gonna snow and also be super duper cold. So, I did what any good Irish Catholic does on a Sunday: I went to the liquor store.
Yup, the one in West Seattle. They had Jameson on sale, it was practically like Christmas. Threw in a fifth of Bailey's, too. Just in case. On a Sunday. No big whoop.
Yup, the one in West Seattle. They had Jameson on sale, it was practically like Christmas. Threw in a fifth of Bailey's, too. Just in case. On a Sunday. No big whoop.
49
Weh weh, the poorly paid liquor store employee should be the only person to have to work later than everyone else today, and put their life at risk on quickly freezing streets, because I can't go one night without a drop of alcohol! Weh-fucking-weh! **Hipster problems in a hipster world**
50
@49, the point is that a privatized liquor business in this state would have given multiple options to find the alcohol of his choice, not that the liquor store employees went home.
51
1. Go to a bar
2. Go to a bar
3. Go to a bar
4. Stock up, we've know about the possibility of snow for like...weeks? We all lived through the last storm right?
People who expect commerce when mother nature is completely destroying the world we live in are very cute. Also, even if one of those initiatives passed I doubt anything would have changed that fast, you'd still be staring at the same 6pm closing time. Incredibly dickish of them to actually be in the store while they count their till. I mean fuck dude, you waited how many hours for it to be storming like crazy and you decide you're going to leave work in the middle of it? 90% of the problem with commerce and snow is getting to your destination, for which you should stay at as long as possible until things calm down. Leaving at 6:30 or 9:30, Seattle was pretty much the same, only less traffic. So while those employees are total dicks, you're an unprepared brat. I stocked up over the weekend, throw anything at me.
2. Go to a bar
3. Go to a bar
4. Stock up, we've know about the possibility of snow for like...weeks? We all lived through the last storm right?
People who expect commerce when mother nature is completely destroying the world we live in are very cute. Also, even if one of those initiatives passed I doubt anything would have changed that fast, you'd still be staring at the same 6pm closing time. Incredibly dickish of them to actually be in the store while they count their till. I mean fuck dude, you waited how many hours for it to be storming like crazy and you decide you're going to leave work in the middle of it? 90% of the problem with commerce and snow is getting to your destination, for which you should stay at as long as possible until things calm down. Leaving at 6:30 or 9:30, Seattle was pretty much the same, only less traffic. So while those employees are total dicks, you're an unprepared brat. I stocked up over the weekend, throw anything at me.
52
Chris, your attitude here? Is why Seattle can't have nice things.
PROTIP: when there is precipitation while the ground temperature drops from above to below freezing, there will be ice. Since Seattle always hovers around freezing in the winter and precipitates a lot, this fact of physics should have stopped surprising you by now.
PROTIP: when it ices up, expect to stay home and for infrastructure not to work. This happens every time, so it should stop surprising you. People who live in climates that have more snow solve this problem by PLANNING AHEAD.
PROTIP: Cold winter-wonderland climates may snow more but do not as much have the northwest's icing tendencies. When it does ice over in Iowa City? Infrastructure doesn't work and people stay home while shit gets sorted out. The major difference between there and here is that the basic understanding of physics exists, people plan ahead for buying booze and don't go BAAAWWW when the world fails to obey their whims.
Seriously, if you ever lived in a place where there's a winter, that's how it is. It ices over, you take a damn snow day. Amazing to see the uptight Seattleite's insistence that magic can be done.
PROTIP: when there is precipitation while the ground temperature drops from above to below freezing, there will be ice. Since Seattle always hovers around freezing in the winter and precipitates a lot, this fact of physics should have stopped surprising you by now.
PROTIP: when it ices up, expect to stay home and for infrastructure not to work. This happens every time, so it should stop surprising you. People who live in climates that have more snow solve this problem by PLANNING AHEAD.
PROTIP: Cold winter-wonderland climates may snow more but do not as much have the northwest's icing tendencies. When it does ice over in Iowa City? Infrastructure doesn't work and people stay home while shit gets sorted out. The major difference between there and here is that the basic understanding of physics exists, people plan ahead for buying booze and don't go BAAAWWW when the world fails to obey their whims.
Seriously, if you ever lived in a place where there's a winter, that's how it is. It ices over, you take a damn snow day. Amazing to see the uptight Seattleite's insistence that magic can be done.
53
Spontaneous liquor purchasing in California = OK sure anywhere you want.
Spontaneous liquor purchasing in Washington = forget it, baby... should have stocked up on Saturday afternoon at the state liquor store.
I loves me some Washington State. Way more than I loves me some California. But this is one area where there is absolutely NO competition. I voted yes on 1100, but alas. Sorry, Chris.
Spontaneous liquor purchasing in Washington = forget it, baby... should have stocked up on Saturday afternoon at the state liquor store.
I loves me some Washington State. Way more than I loves me some California. But this is one area where there is absolutely NO competition. I voted yes on 1100, but alas. Sorry, Chris.
55
@51:
I think that's a slight exaggeration. Maybe.
"People who expect commerce when mother nature is completely destroying the world we live in are very cute."
I think that's a slight exaggeration. Maybe.
56
Frizelle, when this storm was predicted LAST WEEK, I stocked up early. I also bought more groceries than I needed and extra diapers for the kid. Think about being the ant rather than the grasshopper next time.
57
yes, this is the an unfortunate lesson in the benefits of the zombie apocalypse strategic home liquor reserve program.
58
I felt the same way about Starbucks last night. I used their phone app to find an open store, and it wasn't.
By the time I got home from picking up my friend at the airport, the bars were closed and I was so tired I couldn't even finish my glass of wine. I'd venture out today to buy liquor...but there is no store in my neighborhood.
Don't know why everyone is hating on this. I really wanted whisky yesterday, but tomorrow is payday.
By the time I got home from picking up my friend at the airport, the bars were closed and I was so tired I couldn't even finish my glass of wine. I'd venture out today to buy liquor...but there is no store in my neighborhood.
Don't know why everyone is hating on this. I really wanted whisky yesterday, but tomorrow is payday.
61
Interesting. This kind of happened to me in PA one year for New Years (no inclement weather, though). The state store is the only place to buy liquor and wine, and they decided to close it at 6 PM ON NEW YEARS EVE!!! The 24-hour beer distributor was my only option, and that particular beer distributor only sold in cases. So instead of a nice bottle of red, I ended up with a case of Sam Adams.
During the snowpocalypse/snowmageddon/snoverkill in February, among the few places that were open here were the beer/wine/liquor stores and bars. Ah, the sweet release of a nice bottle of wine when you've been stuck inside for 5 days. While our private stores are heavily regulated (grocers can sell beer and wine until Midnight, but convenience and stand-alone stores have to close/stop selling booze by 10, and Sunday permits for hard liquor are hard to come by), at least they exist and have that capitalist attitude. I feel bad for y'all, especially having spent so much time in PA where they go through the same type of over-regulation/state monopoly bullshit.
During the snowpocalypse/snowmageddon/snoverkill in February, among the few places that were open here were the beer/wine/liquor stores and bars. Ah, the sweet release of a nice bottle of wine when you've been stuck inside for 5 days. While our private stores are heavily regulated (grocers can sell beer and wine until Midnight, but convenience and stand-alone stores have to close/stop selling booze by 10, and Sunday permits for hard liquor are hard to come by), at least they exist and have that capitalist attitude. I feel bad for y'all, especially having spent so much time in PA where they go through the same type of over-regulation/state monopoly bullshit.
62
@ 54,
I love your thinking. I'm going to borrow your S.W.E.A.R. acronym. Although, I tend to think of whisky, particularly bourbon, as a necessity of everyday life.
I love your thinking. I'm going to borrow your S.W.E.A.R. acronym. Although, I tend to think of whisky, particularly bourbon, as a necessity of everyday life.
63
Growing up in Minnesota (a state that is just as liberal, if not more so, than Washington), where hard liquor could be sold in private stores, it was quite a shock to me when I moved here and found out that Washington had state liquor stores. That was my introduction to Washington's nanny-statism (which also manifests itself in giving tickets for jaywalking.)
I'm not a big hard liquor drinker so the lack of a good selection doesn't bother me personally but the stores are frumpy, there aren't that many of them, and the open hours would undoubtedly be more expansive in private stores. I voted, without hesitation, for I-1100 and was naive enough to believe it would actually pass.
I find the it-was-important-to-defeat-I-1100-in-order-to-protect-union-jobs argument ludicrous. Sure, no one likes to lose their job but if a system of doing something is fucked, then saving the jobs of the people working in that fucked system shouldn't take precedence over changing the system. It's no different than the argument that we shouldn't cut spending on expensive military hardware because that would mean the loss of jobs, including presumably union jobs.
I'm not a big hard liquor drinker so the lack of a good selection doesn't bother me personally but the stores are frumpy, there aren't that many of them, and the open hours would undoubtedly be more expansive in private stores. I voted, without hesitation, for I-1100 and was naive enough to believe it would actually pass.
I find the it-was-important-to-defeat-I-1100-in-order-to-protect-union-jobs argument ludicrous. Sure, no one likes to lose their job but if a system of doing something is fucked, then saving the jobs of the people working in that fucked system shouldn't take precedence over changing the system. It's no different than the argument that we shouldn't cut spending on expensive military hardware because that would mean the loss of jobs, including presumably union jobs.
64
P.S. I work for the state and we didn't close our office early yesterday due to bad weather. Our boss let people leave early if they wanted to use vacation time but she required at least two of us to stay until normal closing time. I was one who stayed and I had a four-and-a-half hour drive home last night. So, while I understand the desire of those state liquor store employees to leave early due to the weather, I think at least one person should've stayed until closing time. If my boss had been running that liquor store, I guarantee you that would have been the case. In fact, she probably would have been the one to stay.
67
So what you're saying is, you didn't plan ahead and stock up on whiskey ahead of time? Fuck YOU and your lack of preparation, sir.
68
How you liking it now? Everything's 20% higher, and no one's carrying Gosling's rum or Monoplowa vodka. I miss my Ballard packie...
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