The Smoking Gun brings us a story of sexual demands, alleged threats of violence, and horrible desperation from West Virginia.

Melissa Lee Williams, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn....According to investigators, Williams—who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn—showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.”

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Full thing here. (Also, clearly this case is about the limitations of the human spine. If we were as bendy as cats, all of this unpleasantness could've been avoided.)