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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hump “But that’s too far down for a clit—it’s like a big, weird ball.”

Posted by on Sat, Oct 16, 2010 at 11:06 AM

humpjuryshot.jpg
The HUMP! jury is deliberating.

UPDATE: "Is that her butt? I think so."

UPDATE 2: "Serious plot holes."

UPDATE 3: "This would be a better porn with, you know, sex. And banjo? In porn?"

UPDATE 4: "I'm bummed out that they're not really amputees."

UPDATE 5: "Are those stripper-pole bruises?"

UPDATE 6: "So that's what a crucifix sounds like."

UPDATE 7: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD. Holy shit! My God! Christ... Okay, that one's in."

UPDATE 8: “Delivery boy porn—but it's coffee instead of pizza. How Northwest!"

UPDATE 9: "This isn't the ass hook one."

UPDATE 10: "I'm sorry, but HUMP! is better than this."

UPDATE 11: "Yakety Sax doesn't usually go on this long."

UPDATE 12: "I think they're—they're germs, living in someone's anus, and they're eating poop and it turns them on."

UPDATE 13: "For the record: I do not have a boner."

The HUMP! jury is adjourning for lunch. Wish us luck.

The HUMP jury has reconvened.

UPDATE 14: "Tired of strap-on dildos, tired of strap-on dildos, tired of strap-on dildos. Balls!"

UPDATE 15: "I keep getting raped, you guys!"

UPDATE 16: "This one smells weird."

UPDATE 17: "Wanna unsee that."

The HUMP! jury has been watching porn—in five minute increments—for eight straight hours. We have been driven to drink. The HUMP! jury sent the HUMP! intern out to get a bottle of Maker's Mark, which is now nearly empty.

UPDATE 18: "The Atari part should be in it because he puts it up his butt later."

UPDATE 19: "Triple rape rainbow—what does it mean?"

UPDATE 20: "The egg pop was pretty great."

 

Comments (36) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Gee, it sounds like such a good time.
I think I'm glad to not be on this jury duty.
Posted by nocutename on October 16, 2010 at 11:13 AM
despicable me 2
Oh man, I would so love to be on that jury!
Posted by despicable me on October 16, 2010 at 11:26 AM
BombasticMO 3
So excited!
Posted by BombasticMO http://www.BombasticMo.com on October 16, 2010 at 11:35 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 4
Banjos are always good.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on October 16, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 5

Gross.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://yrihf.com on October 16, 2010 at 12:01 PM
despicable me 6
Jesus, what have you guys been smoking? Or have you been eating the brownies Dan had in his bag? You know, the ones that got sniffered by the dog at the airport? I bet you guys have the munchies right now, huh?

I've NEVER been into that, but I'm seriously ready to reconsider. Some of this stuff you just can't make up!
Posted by despicable me on October 16, 2010 at 12:04 PM
yourmom.com 7
Update 6: Is that a raccoon?
Posted by yourmom.com on October 16, 2010 at 12:07 PM
gloomy gus 8
"Too far down for a clit" is one of my family's favorite campfire songs.
Posted by gloomy gus on October 16, 2010 at 12:36 PM
BEG 9
After y'all pick the winners, are you going to make a "blooper reel" from the "best" of the rest??
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on October 16, 2010 at 12:56 PM
10
Somewhere someone who put banjo in their porn is weeping now.
Posted by charlie on October 16, 2010 at 1:11 PM
despicable me 11
Okay, I'm sooooo in! Never done it before but you gotta start sometime. Where can I get me some of that shit? Please tell me it's brownies, I really really don't like smoke.
Posted by despicable me on October 16, 2010 at 1:22 PM
12
Is it really porn unless the jury members are pleasuring themselves as they watch?
Posted by seatackled on October 16, 2010 at 2:13 PM
reverend dr dj riz 13
*ahem*
... i once saw film where man put his foot, all the way up to his shin, up another man's ass. i was most defintely NOT pleasuring myself at the time. was that porn ?
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on October 16, 2010 at 3:37 PM
this guy I know in Spokane 14
@13 OMG.

Yes.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on October 16, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Fnarf 15
@13 OMG.

No.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 16, 2010 at 4:29 PM
Flying Monkey of Froth 16
@13 -- If he would've put it up his own ass, I would've been impressed.
Posted by Flying Monkey of Froth on October 16, 2010 at 4:52 PM
despicable me 17
@13 OMG.

Maybe. What were either of them doing with their dicks while this was going on?

That's a loaded question. I would've probably forgotten to look at their dicks as I watched the foot and leg go up the guys ass.
Posted by despicable me on October 16, 2010 at 5:54 PM
18
I want to be on that jury.... or just see some of those videos.... somehow.
Posted by anthony990 http://www.myspace.com/oom748 on October 16, 2010 at 6:05 PM
Jaydog5280 19
I don't mind a banjo in porn as long as there's lots of plucking.

Sorry!
Posted by Jaydog5280 on October 16, 2010 at 6:33 PM
20
Judging by some of the poorer entries that actually made the cut last year, I really don't envy you at all... I bet you have to go through a lot of crap videos to find the videos fit for an audience.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on October 16, 2010 at 7:16 PM
21
Y'all lead much more interesting lives than me. That's all I can say to this.
Posted by Sheryl on October 16, 2010 at 7:19 PM
julia09 22
dear lord I hope all of those "updates" were not for the same movie. . .
Posted by julia09 on October 16, 2010 at 8:56 PM
CharlesYFarley 23
Picnic table stuff. Alaina, where are you when I need you?
Posted by CharlesYFarley http://mcaf.ee/7ab9d on October 16, 2010 at 9:39 PM
24
@13 OMG

I hope one of them was a Star Wars action figure. . .
Posted by seatackled on October 16, 2010 at 9:44 PM
BEG 25
@13 thru @15 -- thanks, guys, for making me spit out my hot chocolate.
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on October 16, 2010 at 10:11 PM
26
@25 OMG.

Is that porn lingo for something?
Posted by seatackled on October 16, 2010 at 10:15 PM
BEG 27
@26 -- you know, I'm afraid to look it up, just in case it IS
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on October 16, 2010 at 10:25 PM
BEG 28
Huh. I wonder if this is an outtake from one of the HUMP videos:
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/photo-in…
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on October 16, 2010 at 10:27 PM
despicable me 29
Hey Dan, how come you didn't post this for us? Your very own It Gets Better song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lVqbmQ--…

Posted by despicable me on October 16, 2010 at 11:13 PM
30
@27

I think if you just stay away from strange people's santorum, you'll be fine.
Posted by seatackled on October 16, 2010 at 11:32 PM
31 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
32
If there was porn with a Starbucks barista story, I'd buy it. Can't lie.
Posted by oskomena on October 17, 2010 at 1:01 PM
33
I love the Stranger's version of a file photo. Does this fall under "camera"?
Posted by geovincent on October 17, 2010 at 2:35 PM
kim in portland 34
Maker's Mark? I'd think that something stronger than 90 proof would be needed. Next time try Booker's it is uncut, unfiltered, undiluted straight from the barrel, and ranges from 121-127 proof. That will make you sit up and take notice.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on October 17, 2010 at 3:12 PM
rara avis 35
you should take and post HUMP! jury reaction videos.
Posted by rara avis on October 17, 2010 at 6:34 PM
36
How about a snapshot of the jury's faces as they look at the video without showing the video screen?
Posted by ankylosaur on October 17, 2010 at 7:22 PM

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