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News & ArtsWednesday, September 15, 2010
Politics Why Are You In The Picture?
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Sep 15, 2010 at 7:59 AM
And why, if you think lust is baaaaad, are you and your friends wearing so much damn makeup? And a "Savage Love" reader writes...
The time has come for you to use your influence to pick a day between now and the November election, and declare it "Masturbate to Christine O'Donnell Day" in either the state of Delaware or the entire United States of America. If there needs to be a male equivalent, so be it. This needs to happen, and you're the only guy who can do it.Hiding At The Elusive Fuzz Under Christine's Knockers
So long a I don't have to masturbate to Christine O'Donnell—I mean, there are limits to my political activism.
2
Do you know how hot it must be to crank one out if you've spent the whole day talking about how wrong and sacreligious the act it. I think I'm gonna try that route, my routine is getting stale.
3
If I liked clown-whore makeup I might find her actually cute. And then she'd "be in the picture," if you know what I mean! haha
7
Well, a friend of mine who is a holistic nutritionist says that having orgasms depletes your "chi," or something (I think that means "saps your energy), so maybe that's the real problem democrats are having: More sex, less guilt, LESS DONE! Hyper conservative tea-baggers, who only have sex on holidays (but not on holidays that feature Jeebus) have much more energy to spend on hatred, judgment, and bringing back the Luddite movement. That must be it.
And skeevy youth pastor dude? I'd check your past "youth pastor watch" posts, he looks like a founding member.
And skeevy youth pastor dude? I'd check your past "youth pastor watch" posts, he looks like a founding member.
9
Wasn't it about the same time that Joycelyn Elders lost her job for suggesting that masturbation might be a good way to prevent the spread of AIDS? Man, the '90s were more backwards than I care to remember.
10
these comments made my morning. thanks all!
(and for the record, i couldn't get it going for christine, nor for the pervy pastor she nailed).
(and for the record, i couldn't get it going for christine, nor for the pervy pastor she nailed).
11
7 - you're right, but there's "methods" to keep your chi and have sex so there's *no* excuse for liberal heathens to get shit done
12
Here's my question: are tea party candidates just better looking than their rivals? That Brown guy in Massachusetts was a pinup boy, right? And this wack-job is pretty cute. And Sarah Palin is certainly evil-incarnate, but she's also a total MILF. Does one of the interns have the time to compare tea party visages against the rest of the candidates to see if these douchebags are only getting elected cause the vapid masses want to sleep with them?
14
i agree with ScreenName @12. all that french kid has done so far is bitch about our croissants. he's clearly got the time for this assignment, which would be WAYYYY more interesting than hearing him snark in weirdly teriffic-and-terrible english about our bakeries.
15
Bwahahahahahahahaha! That is the funniest thing I've seen in a while! I guess no one had the heart to tell them that the whole reason women started wearing colour on their lips was to remind men of the other lips that women have. Which is why (in Western cultures at least), only whores and actresses wore makeup until fairly recently. Scarlett O'Hara's hidden little container of blush was used as a signifier of just how bad she really was. Alas, even though the LW's idea is great, I just feel that all of these people are the opposite of masturbation material.
16
Mmmm. Todd Hitchcock. I'm imagining him down on all fours, screaming for me to fuck him deeper & harder...
18
She's a Catholic so of course she hates masturbation, although I'm she gives Pat Buchanan a hard-on like he hasn't had in decades. Anyway, are there any bubbles pics of her?
20
I first became aware of this theory during the act of physical love. I felt a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. A loss of essence. Luckily, I was able to interpret these feelings correctly.
25
As of 1232 Eastern time, O'Donnell's wiki page had this gem hacked in:
And, no, I'm not responsible.
Penis
An avid supporter of fellatio, O'Donnell joined the Tea Party conservatives after hearing about their "Teabagging" cause. When told of the apparent mixup between her ball-friendly manifesto and the conservative views, she ran to the comfort of her self pleasuring device known as Black Betty.
And, no, I'm not responsible.
26
So if your husband knows how to please himself, then he won't want sex? That's such a depressing thought. If I believed that, I wouldn't encourage masturbation, either.
Maybe if priests were allowed to masturbate, there'd be fewer problems....Actually that's probably not true at all.
Maybe if priests were allowed to masturbate, there'd be fewer problems....Actually that's probably not true at all.
27
While this is pretty hilarious, does nobody else think it's kind of sketchy to be airing tape that's over a decade old?
I mean, she was what, 27 when she made that tape? And now she's just over 40?
I mean, she was what, 27 when she made that tape? And now she's just over 40?
30
Maybe she actually succeeded in persuading many of the nation's youth to stop masturbating. That would certainly explain the wave of school shootings in the late nineties.
31
You can put a beautiful shade of lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. Oink oink.
It drives me fucking crazy when they repeat over and over "Well the bible says this and you shouldn't do that because you're sinning or lusting or committing adultery."
Do these people not know how to think for themselves? Jesus Christ they're nuts.
It drives me fucking crazy when they repeat over and over "Well the bible says this and you shouldn't do that because you're sinning or lusting or committing adultery."
Do these people not know how to think for themselves? Jesus Christ they're nuts.
33
Mid-nineties: Christine O'Donnell launches a campaign to persuade teenagers to stop masturbating.
Late nineties: The nation is devastated by a wave of school shootings.
Late nineties: The nation is devastated by a wave of school shootings.
35
@27:
And what kind of teabagger launches an EEOC complaint, anyway? Aren't they against such wastes of money that could be going to bomb the living daylights out of Arabs who have essentially the same moral beliefs that they do?
While this is pretty hilarious, does nobody else think it's kind of sketchy to be airing tape that's over a decade old?Not when her positions are exactly the same.
I mean, she was what, 27 when she made that tape? And now she's just over 40?
And what kind of teabagger launches an EEOC complaint, anyway? Aren't they against such wastes of money that could be going to bomb the living daylights out of Arabs who have essentially the same moral beliefs that they do?
36
I must confess that I find the cognitive dissonance of the Christian right wing to be most impressive. You have to admire the phenomenal amount of electric energy needed in the brain to maintain the structural integrity field between the "I'm for freedom and believe that government should be out of my life!" section and the "Elect ME so that I can tell people what to do behind closed, locked doors in their own home in their most intimate moments!!!" section.
Wow. If we could harness that to a grid we could entirely obviate the need for oil imports and move to 100% electric cars.
Wow. If we could harness that to a grid we could entirely obviate the need for oil imports and move to 100% electric cars.
38
First of all, @36 FTW. Second, She's hot, and I'd fap to that. Third, and I know I'm far from the first to detect this on the fuck-o-meter, she totally tagged that youth pastor dude.
40
@12,
Scott Brown is a moderate Republican. No matter how dissatisfied people are with the status quo, Massachusetts voters would never elect a teabagging fucktard to the Senate.
Scott Brown is a moderate Republican. No matter how dissatisfied people are with the status quo, Massachusetts voters would never elect a teabagging fucktard to the Senate.
42
As we speculate on what sordid secrets lie in this lady's past let us not forget the obvious: there are tons of very sexual people out there (and nobody who Looks like she does in the video is asexual, methinks) who never ever give in to those intense feelings, who reject them based on their values system and who direct that intensity outward into, oh, (and if I can just choose an example completely at random), say, politics.
There may be no dirty secrets in this lady's past simply because she so firmly believes that nobody should every be allowed to be dirty, evereverever, including herself.
There may be no dirty secrets in this lady's past simply because she so firmly believes that nobody should every be allowed to be dirty, evereverever, including herself.
43
@14
I agree. The French kids stuff about food and packaging and whatever is boring and like some kind of odd attempt to play out a stereotype of some kind about the French.
I want him to discuss stuff like this - masturbation, sex fantasies of right wing politicians, etc.
I agree. The French kids stuff about food and packaging and whatever is boring and like some kind of odd attempt to play out a stereotype of some kind about the French.
I want him to discuss stuff like this - masturbation, sex fantasies of right wing politicians, etc.
46
I am very tempted to send this gal a political contribution.
Along with a note saying that I saw one of her old SALT spots and was so overcome at the sight of her wet red mouth that I had to immediately repair myself to the bedroom with thoughts of seducing her into a compromising position, ripping her clothes off, and using her like the smoking hot fuckslut we both know she really is deep down inside.
I masturbated furiously to those thoughts and came so hard it hit the ceiling. It was so good, I realized that I could make it, and future solitary dalliances, so much better if I could make her my whore.
And close with, "So here's $20."
How much you wanna bet that if I actually do this (once I get paid and can spare the $20.00) her campaign will accept it?
Whore.
Along with a note saying that I saw one of her old SALT spots and was so overcome at the sight of her wet red mouth that I had to immediately repair myself to the bedroom with thoughts of seducing her into a compromising position, ripping her clothes off, and using her like the smoking hot fuckslut we both know she really is deep down inside.
I masturbated furiously to those thoughts and came so hard it hit the ceiling. It was so good, I realized that I could make it, and future solitary dalliances, so much better if I could make her my whore.
And close with, "So here's $20."
How much you wanna bet that if I actually do this (once I get paid and can spare the $20.00) her campaign will accept it?
Whore.
50
@9- Dr. Elders lost her job for saying that comprehensive sex education should include information about masturbation. The Right Wing noise machine (in one of it's first big successes) managed to get her run out of office with grotesque exaggeration and misrepresentation of her words.
@17- There isn't much you wouldn't hit, is there?
@17- There isn't much you wouldn't hit, is there?
51
Actually strike my last comment...it turns out that she is not married.
Dan, I'm starting to wonder if you didn't hear from her boyfriend last week...
Dan, I'm starting to wonder if you didn't hear from her boyfriend last week...
52
Her voice has gotten even more annoying since those days. At least back then she sounded (mostly) like an earnest, if misguided, teen. But now - egad, just listen to her acceptance speech - that broad, flat, smarmy whine of hers hits you like a monster pancake of smug condescension. Oh, she's still a Christian all right, and exactly the same kind: brain-on-hold fundie robot.
And yeah, I'd hit it.
And yeah, I'd hit it.
53
@42: If you really believe that there are lots of people out there who suppress their sexual needs based on principle then you probably believe that all those accusations against catholic priests are bogus.
There are a tiny minority of people who suppress their sexual needs based on principle. The vast majority are just liars.
There are a tiny minority of people who suppress their sexual needs based on principle. The vast majority are just liars.
55
As penance, folks in the state of Delaware should donate $1 to her opponent for every self-pleasuring session between now and the election. $5 if she's in the "visual aid" photo.
56
#53, she's anti-lying too. Seriously, she brought out the whole "it would've been wrong to lie about Anne Frank to the Gestapo" meme, on television.
57
If you have to feel guilty about rubbing one out to fantasies of Palin, Bachman or now O'Donnell before voting for them at the polls, what's the point if you're a male Teabagger?
Of course, I often picture Sarah Palin (especially her voice) when I'm trying to delay orgasm, but that's probably a letter on its own.
Of course, I often picture Sarah Palin (especially her voice) when I'm trying to delay orgasm, but that's probably a letter on its own.
59
If your husband masterbates he is gay because he is having same sex sex with himself. This is why masterbation is truly evil.
60
@53:
First, don't tag me as an apologist for kiddie rapers. For that view of yours, kindly FOADIAF, m'kay?
Second, there are people who fit my parameters. They're called sexually repressed. And yes, they do exist, and yes, they do their best to make other people as miserable as them and frequently through vigorous encouragement of others to follow -- by dogma or legal mandate -- their own principles (or delusions, if you prefer). They may be a tiny minority, or not, but they exist.
Being psychologically fucked up regarding sexuality? Happens all the time. Being an angry, proscriptivist proselytizer as a result? Also happens all the time. I've known a few and pretty much all of them radiant this smug, almost vibrating anger that is characteristic of Ms. O'Donnell. Not everybody who is sexually repressed has lewd secrets; they often are very angry, resentful, energetic people given to causes. Fit anybody we know? A senate candidate from Delaware, for example?
First, don't tag me as an apologist for kiddie rapers. For that view of yours, kindly FOADIAF, m'kay?
Second, there are people who fit my parameters. They're called sexually repressed. And yes, they do exist, and yes, they do their best to make other people as miserable as them and frequently through vigorous encouragement of others to follow -- by dogma or legal mandate -- their own principles (or delusions, if you prefer). They may be a tiny minority, or not, but they exist.
Being psychologically fucked up regarding sexuality? Happens all the time. Being an angry, proscriptivist proselytizer as a result? Also happens all the time. I've known a few and pretty much all of them radiant this smug, almost vibrating anger that is characteristic of Ms. O'Donnell. Not everybody who is sexually repressed has lewd secrets; they often are very angry, resentful, energetic people given to causes. Fit anybody we know? A senate candidate from Delaware, for example?
61
Wait, is she saying that the only reason she's of use to a husband is sex? I'm...pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work.
62
I'd boink her without a doubt! Of course, I'd want to tie her up, hang her from the ceiling, put a bunch of clamps on her, and whip her till she was dripping wet with sweat first, but yea given half a chance I boink her for sure!! She might change her position a on a thing or two after the experience to boot. Ya never know=P.
Oh wait, she's catholic?!? Well in that case then, I'd offer her a ride to confession afterward.
PS. I'd obviously throw in a teabagging in there to somewhere for extra measure.
Oh wait, she's catholic?!? Well in that case then, I'd offer her a ride to confession afterward.
PS. I'd obviously throw in a teabagging in there to somewhere for extra measure.
63
The funniest thing about this is all these repressed fuckups don't realize how kinky their obsession is. I wish I had six friends of both sexes to quietly get off with, on my couch... hardly daring to touch...to share my vanilla fantasies about the sanctity of sex and and talk endlessly about masturbation...Last time I had guests at my house, all we did was talk about our jobs and the kids!
64
@47 FTW even if she isn’t married
@46 the farm that she wouldn’t send it back
i think seeker6079 may be onto something. it would be much easier to achieve peace in the middle east than stop (or even significantly slow) masturbation. if you’re choosing that battle, your connection to the world i live in is tenuous at best (and i’m a recovering mormon.)
@46 the farm that she wouldn’t send it back
i think seeker6079 may be onto something. it would be much easier to achieve peace in the middle east than stop (or even significantly slow) masturbation. if you’re choosing that battle, your connection to the world i live in is tenuous at best (and i’m a recovering mormon.)
66
Don't you just HATE it when you sit down and the chastity belt pinches?
http://nationalpostnews.files.wordpress.…
http://nationalpostnews.files.wordpress.…
67
We need her head photoshopped on a masturbating body spread around the internet, based on principle.
69
OMG I remember that video! It didn't ring a bell until the "WHY AM **I** IN THE PICTURE?!??!" part, and then I was like, HOLY SHIT!!!!
70
@62, Please continue to use the word boink. Thanks.
@68, What's the matter, ya need a good boinkin'?
@68, What's the matter, ya need a good boinkin'?
71
oh i'm doing fine in that department, thanks ... it's just one of those words i find to be incredibly unsexy. boink. sounds too much like "oink." (and it sounds like getting hit on the head in a comic strip).
76
Some here in Phily are referring to our neighbor The First State's political running gag as "deLOLware 2010."
77
I have had an old clip of her on Politically Incorrect in '98 on my YouTube page because it also had Eddie Izzard. It was quite fun yesterday watching it climb from around 2000 views to over 100,000:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFisw16di…
Y'all can see that the same cats are shown in my photo here and the one on YouTube. Their names are Annie and Declan, btw.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFisw16di…
Y'all can see that the same cats are shown in my photo here and the one on YouTube. Their names are Annie and Declan, btw.
78
No wonder this gal is single. She's either just as repressed as she seems or so freaky nobody can handle her.
79
When she asks "Why am I in the picture?" she's implying, whether she realizes it or not, that the only reason for a man to want a relationship with a woman is to get orgasms. Like men don't care about love, companionship, and the emotional benefits of an LTR! Like having sex for pleasure and becoming a father are mutually exclusive, and like men don't want to be fathers!
How many relationships have been needlessly ruined because the woman was so ignorant of male sexuality that she thought her man's habit of masturbation was a sign he wasn't into her? How many normal, healthy kids have been wracked with anxiety, or had their self esteem wrecked, because the religious right led them to believe that their masturbatory habits are signs of a disorder? Railing against masturbation creates a problem where none should exist, and distracts from real problems - like the plight of the poor, which Jesus seems to have cared about much more than issues of sexual morality.
How many relationships have been needlessly ruined because the woman was so ignorant of male sexuality that she thought her man's habit of masturbation was a sign he wasn't into her? How many normal, healthy kids have been wracked with anxiety, or had their self esteem wrecked, because the religious right led them to believe that their masturbatory habits are signs of a disorder? Railing against masturbation creates a problem where none should exist, and distracts from real problems - like the plight of the poor, which Jesus seems to have cared about much more than issues of sexual morality.
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