Vegans with senses of humor...

Ok, I'm a vegan and I doubt you'll read this but just needed to say that I laughed out loud at your vegan joke. We're not all a-holes! If there's a battle between you and the "holier than thou" vegans, I'm totally on your side.

Vegans with persecution complexes...

I guess it makes you feel a little bit less like a minority by slamming another group that is also a minority. I've been a vegan for over 15 years. I go to restaurants and cook. If you think vegan food is bland, you just haven't looked. We are just trying to make the world a better place. Yes, some of us are assholes, but that is true of the LGBT community too.

And my personal favorite: hippie-bashin' vegans who send me cookies...

Your crack at vegan cooking in this week's column was totally a low blow. Clearly you've never had vegan food made by any non-hippies. (Why is hippie food always gross? Are they anti-condiment as well as anti-war?) Are you allowed to eat baked goods sent in the mail? Because if so I will totally send you some vegan cookies my deer-hunting, meat-guzzling brothers beg me for. If not, you know, just take my word for it. Also, I'm a huge fan of yours (vegan digs aside), please never stop doing what you do.

For the record: I'm a huge fan of the vegan brownies at Bluebird.