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News & ArtsThursday, September 9, 2010
Chow / At Large The Mysteries of the Cookie Selection at the Charleston Market at the Indiana Memorial Union
Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Sep 9, 2010 at 9:43 PM
It's Special K breakfast cereal, corn syrup, peanut butter, and sugar—they make them, they sell them, people eat them. People who aren't stoned eat them. It's a complete mystery.
2
It looks like something my Mom makes for the holidays. I wish she would just stick to her awesome peanut butter fudge and butter cookies, because those things look lonesome on the plate having been ignored by a 12 y.o., 14 y.o, and 15 y.o.
3
You are doing this specifically to drive me nuts, Dan. I challenge you to locate the primary spot we, as in my teenage crew, would seek out to, um, self-medicate before purchasing one of these cookies.
5
My mom, the quintessential midwesterner, used to make these when she was in the mood for something fancy and normal rice krispie bars wouldn't do.
6
That's a whole lotta sweet. And not really a cookie, either. In Canada, that would be made in a pan, cut into pieces, and called a "square." Reminds me of those peanut butter thingies with the mini multi-coloured marshmallows...
7
Oh, yeah. I used to make a version of this: oatmeal instead of Special K, a bit of cocoa powder. One of the first things I learned to cook. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
8
I"m sorry, are you totally sure that "People who aren't stoned eat them"???
Amazing and weird.
I thought Seattle-people were all healthy and shit?!!? When not stoned anyway...
Another illusion shattered.
Amazing and weird.
I thought Seattle-people were all healthy and shit?!!? When not stoned anyway...
Another illusion shattered.
10
WHY DOES HICKEY HAVE 500 BONES TO DROP ON AN IPAD WHEN HE OWES 10 GRAND IN PARKING TICKETS
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH CAPITOL HILL??
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH CAPITOL HILL??
12
A coworker brought in a white chocolate version of these and I nearly gagged trying to eat one to be polite. I like sweets, but not corn syrupy ones.
13
I don't know, it looks pretty good to me...
Someone I know once made a similar "cookie," but it contained oats, not cereal. (And it was actually cookie-shaped.) But if these are anything like those, yum! As long as the peanut butter taste slightly dominates the sweet taste, I'm in.
Someone I know once made a similar "cookie," but it contained oats, not cereal. (And it was actually cookie-shaped.) But if these are anything like those, yum! As long as the peanut butter taste slightly dominates the sweet taste, I'm in.
15
Yep, someone in my family makes these and brings them to church and family gatherings. I can't remember who. They're not nearly as bad as the things made of chocolate, some cereal, and pastel multi-colored marshmallows.
16
I don't know, they sound good to me. Although the corn syrup could be enough to ruin it if the taste is noticeable enough. Not that I'd eat one--they sound like instant diabetes.
17
they used to serve these at my high school cafeteria in Indiana in the 1970s. we called them shit bricks. it was considered polite when you offered someone a piece of your shit at the lunch table.
18
Hey, you know what, France has equally terrible shit as well! And before you go arrogantly spouting off about our culture, remember we saved your ass! Twice!
Oh- wait, Dan Savage wrote this.
OMG, totally, what's up with crap like that? Etc.
Oh- wait, Dan Savage wrote this.
OMG, totally, what's up with crap like that? Etc.
20
They are indeed bars here in the land of Franken
I used to make them with corn flakes AND a bag of chocolate chips melted on top. I guess the Special K makes them healthy
Now I'm too old to face that kind of sweetness (under any condition) but I can get into bars of another type : )
I used to make them with corn flakes AND a bag of chocolate chips melted on top. I guess the Special K makes them healthy
Now I'm too old to face that kind of sweetness (under any condition) but I can get into bars of another type : )
21
The bars not withstanding (definitely a bit odd, as in Ohio we make our version of these with cornflakes and marshmallows) I am enjoying the posts from IU where I've spent a fair bit of time. I hope you're staying at the on-campus hotel which is a similar architectural style to the union and at least in the past gave a free bottle of wine to each guest.
22
Use rice crispies instead of Special K, and top it with a layer of equal parts semi-sweet chocolate chips and butterscotch chips, it's called a Scotcheroo and it is the best, most addictive sweet thing ever. We call it Christmas crack at our house.
23
@22: Yes! Scotcharoos ftw! I've never found anyone else who has the same appreciation I do for these delightful Midwestern sugar-bombs. I wouldn't eat the abomination pictured above, though - the chocolate topping is needed to cut the sweetness (yes, you read that right).
25
Some people pay for and eat Rice Krispie treats have you read the ingrdients for marshmallow kreme?
26
Dan,
My wife makes those, and she loves them. So do I; they're delicious. They last about 5 minutes in our house. And I'm not stoned.
My wife makes those, and she loves them. So do I; they're delicious. They last about 5 minutes in our house. And I'm not stoned.
27
I'm not a native Midwesterner but I've been living here for nearly 16 years. I've seen plenty of weird concoctions at potlucks but I have never seen anything quite like that. It looks like something my dog barfed up on the carpet.
28
@27 Possibly because that's not potluck food: If they made it properly in a square, it would served at holidays when people stop by. If memory serves, proper Midwestern potluck food (family is from Indiana) Is Jell-O salad, Ambrosia, macaroni salad, and sweet-n-sour meatballs served in a CrockPot, and a bowl of shredded iceberg lettuce with a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing on the side.
30
That's considered 100% pure grade A Southern Baptist Church food, not as diabetes-inducing as divinity, but certainly more popular. It was cut into bars, not served as a cookie, however.
Ah, yes, I remember the forced church dinners of my youth. All spaghetti dinners, Kool-aid, generic Wal-mart brand oreos, and corn syrup confections. It was a starch and sugarfest--vegetables weren't holy enough!
Ah, yes, I remember the forced church dinners of my youth. All spaghetti dinners, Kool-aid, generic Wal-mart brand oreos, and corn syrup confections. It was a starch and sugarfest--vegetables weren't holy enough!
31
As a former Bloomington-person who lived there throughout her adolescence I can assure you that enough people are stoned in B-town to justify the existence of these cookies.
33
@28 - LOL! Yeah, that is the traditional Midwestern potluck fare. Never seen that "cookie" at a holiday party either but I have seen plenty of jello/pudding/cool whip creations. It must not be popular in Cincinnati unless it's a west side thing. I try no to venture into the west side unless absolutely necessary.
35
College is a series of bewildering choices ... in shoes, relationships, and what exactly constitutes "food".
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