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Monday, September 6, 2010

God Hates Decaffeinated Coffee

Posted by on Mon, Sep 6, 2010 at 7:47 AM

They're running out of arguments against marriage equality...

While traveling in Mexico, two Vatican prelates have criticized Mexico City's new gay marriage law. The marriages of gay and lesbian couples are an imitation, the bishops said, Mexico's El Universal reported. “A gay relationship is like decaffeinated coffee, you do not wake up,” Father Gonzalo Miranda, a bioethics professor at Regina Apostolorum University, a pontifical university, said.

 

Comments (46) RSS

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Canuck 1
Geez, Dan, imagine how much more you could've gotten done all these years if you hadn't been sleeping 24/7...
Posted by Canuck on September 6, 2010 at 7:53 AM
2
Taking marriage advice from a Catholic priest is like taking a driver's training course from someone who has never been behind the wheel.
Posted by PaulBarwick on September 6, 2010 at 7:53 AM
3
It's getting too damn hard to keep track of all this shit god hates.

Fuck it.
Posted by Is being too lazy to create an account a sin? on September 6, 2010 at 7:59 AM
rob! 4
Regina Apostolorum University? That has a familiar ring.

Sants and Apostols...
We go together like
rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong
remembered for ever like
shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom

Chang chang chang-it-ty chang
shoo-bop
That's the way it should be
Wha oooh yeah!

We're one of a kind
Like dip di-dip di-dip
Doo-bop a doo-bee doo
Our names are signed
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy
boog-e-dy
Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang
shoo-bop

We'll always be like one
Wa-wa-wa-waaa!
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on September 6, 2010 at 8:19 AM
onion 5
is that how gaydar works? we look for the sleepy people? bedhead? puffy eyes?
Posted by onion on September 6, 2010 at 8:20 AM
Vince 6
How would they know? They're just mouthpieces for their pope. They should go live in the Vatican where the rest of the self hating perverts live.
Posted by Vince on September 6, 2010 at 8:29 AM
macavitykitsune 7
@2 wins the thread.
Posted by macavitykitsune on September 6, 2010 at 8:46 AM
Julie in Eugene 8
That guy is absolutely right. Decaffeinated coffee should totally be illegal.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on September 6, 2010 at 8:52 AM
9
Everything the Vatican does these days makes makes the idea of sharing an afterlife with them much less appealing. Are they trying to start a housing slump in Heaven?
Posted by PoorYorick on September 6, 2010 at 9:12 AM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 10
"The decaffeinated coffee market in the US was estimated to be $478
million in 2001 and $307 million in 1998."

Maybe decaf isn't for everyone.

But a lot of people seem to have the money to pay for it.

Same with gay marriage.

http://answers.google.com/answers/thread…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://yrihf.com on September 6, 2010 at 9:13 AM
11
Over at the Nomblog, the latest bugaboo is those damned Republican elites who are coming out in favor of same sex marriage.

Cry me a river.
Posted by midwaypete on September 6, 2010 at 9:34 AM
12
There aren't a lot of posts on the linked original article, but this one bears repeating:
Michael Charles8:12 am
You could use the same comparison with Roman Catholicism and Christianity.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on September 6, 2010 at 9:44 AM
Kinison 13
Strange, Gonzalo never has a second cup of coffee at home.
Posted by Kinison http://www.holgatehawks.com on September 6, 2010 at 9:50 AM
14
Oooooh - religiotard fight!

The Mormons hate both gays and real coffee.
Posted by Sili on September 6, 2010 at 9:53 AM
saxfanatic 15
Decaffeinated coffee. Ha, good one Father! I bet the gays are still reeling from that broadside.
Posted by saxfanatic on September 6, 2010 at 10:04 AM
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 16
@13 FTW

I love a good 70's commercial reference. I'm soaking in it.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on September 6, 2010 at 10:08 AM
this guy I know in Spokane 17
People who choose to live a decaffeinated lifestyle should be accorded all the rights and responsibilities that normal, decent people have; but if they want to start redefining coffee for everyone, then they shouldn't be surprised when society rises up and rejects them and their perverted agenda.

Seriously though, what the fuck is he talking about?
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on September 6, 2010 at 10:13 AM
18
Okay, it's bad enough to deny marriage to gays, but do we really have to make them start drinking decaf, too?
What's next--only unnatural fibers?
Posted by nocutename on September 6, 2010 at 10:19 AM
19
He shoulda stuck with the near-bear analogy.
Posted by "Who Wants to Face Marriage Sober, AmIright fellas?" on September 6, 2010 at 10:29 AM
kim in portland 20
Listening to a priest give marriage advice is like buying a pair of shoes without trying them on first.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on September 6, 2010 at 10:31 AM
saxfanatic 21
@18: Well, those bright Hawaiian shirts are polyester, aren't they?
Posted by saxfanatic on September 6, 2010 at 10:32 AM
Out For Delivery 22
haha that's pretty poetic i like it
Posted by Out For Delivery on September 6, 2010 at 10:40 AM
23
I'm drinking decaf* right now - am I an abomination?

*okay, it's half caf - wonder what that means...
Posted by Peter F on September 6, 2010 at 10:55 AM
hartiepie 24
I am not even sure what that quote means.

And how --- ahem -- would Father know what gay relationships are like, eh?
Posted by hartiepie on September 6, 2010 at 11:10 AM
Baconcat 25
Support for gay marriage in Seattle plummets.
Posted by Baconcat on September 6, 2010 at 11:35 AM
venomlash 26
@23: It means bisexual, obviously.
Posted by venomlash on September 6, 2010 at 11:35 AM
27
@26, what about 2% milk in my coffee? No es bueno?
Posted by Peter F on September 6, 2010 at 11:37 AM
Roma 28
A gay relationship is like a shot of tequila. If you don't want to have one you don't have to.
Posted by Roma on September 6, 2010 at 11:57 AM
who cares what I call myself 29
mmmmm.....tequila
Posted by who cares what I call myself on September 6, 2010 at 12:16 PM
TheMisanthrope 30
I take my coffee like my men: caffeinated.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on September 6, 2010 at 12:26 PM
venomlash 31
@28: Can I have the tequila but not the homosexuality?
Posted by venomlash on September 6, 2010 at 12:28 PM
Frau Blucher 32
Where same-sex marriage is legal, funny how I keep seeing this new reoccurring theme of "your marriage isn't a marriage," or "your marriage is a sham."

Why? Because they say so? HA!

Guess the haters will say just about anything to make their worried little minds feel better. Such pissy sore losers. Seriously.
Posted by Frau Blucher on September 6, 2010 at 12:30 PM
rob! 33
@31, in many cases it's dose-related.

Or so I've heard.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on September 6, 2010 at 12:34 PM
34
"Taking marriage advice from a Catholic priest is like taking a driver's training course from someone who has never been behind the wheel."

I have it on good authority (and personal experience) that plenty of Catholic priests are extremely experienced at driving a stick.
Posted by Lymis on September 6, 2010 at 1:03 PM
long-time reader 35
The best part of waking up / is peen in your vadge!
Posted by long-time reader on September 6, 2010 at 1:44 PM
venomlash 36
@34: +7 Internets.
Posted by venomlash on September 6, 2010 at 2:03 PM
john t 37
I refuse to accept marriage advice from men who claim to be celibate but diddle altar boys on the down-low under the protection of an international child-rapist racket organization run by fucked up closet cases.

I assume newspapers are trying to be funny when they quote Catholic priests on this topic, because priests have got to be the fucking least credible people on the subject of marriage that one could find (tied for last place with Newt Gingrich). Might as well ask a vegan for their opinion on what is the best way to field-dress an elk.
Posted by john t on September 6, 2010 at 3:02 PM
Sketch 38
A gay relationship is like decaffeinated coffee

So, by implication, a het relationship is like real coffee, yeah?

Something that gives you a nice kick, but should *definitely* not be your only beverage, just one of many different once you enjoy throughout the day.

Hey, I think the priest is advocating polyamory!
Posted by Sketch on September 6, 2010 at 3:13 PM
39
@13- That's strange, Gonzola never throws up at home.

(Attn: Whippersnappers, that's from Airplane!)
Posted by dwight moody on September 6, 2010 at 4:02 PM
brandon 40
This guys argument is 1 sided, nothing wakes me up more in the morning than a big throbbing cock in my ass.
Posted by brandon on September 6, 2010 at 11:46 PM
41
Funny for this statement to come out right after that study saying coffee doesn't actually wake you up. Just another example of the church denying science.
Posted by Root on September 7, 2010 at 6:11 AM
Purocuyu 42
Oh those old men in skirts, they can't jump up and down indignantly without their coffee.
Posted by Purocuyu http://littlevictorygarden.tumblr.com on September 7, 2010 at 8:35 AM
43
@39 - FTW! Looks like we picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Posted by Ms B on September 7, 2010 at 1:54 PM
Chris in Vancouver WA 44
This is a gem I read in the "Read More" link in the NOM post:

"...the hostility between the social conservative element of the party and those less adherent to that doctrine is already palpable. As one prominent Republican who supports gay rights put it:

“I think there is a growing mass of people in Republican politics who are fundamentally sick and tired about being lectured to about morality and how to live your life by a bunch of people who have been married three or four times and are more likely to be seen outside a brothel on a Thursday night than being at home with their kids. There is a fundamental indecency to the vitriol and the hatred directed against decent people because of their sexuality. People have reached a critical mass with this.”

Priceless!!!
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on September 7, 2010 at 6:17 PM
45
One thing about decaf is that you can have cup after cup after cup, all night long if you like...
Posted by BobSF_94117 on September 8, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Cherry Pirate 46
That analogy (the bishop or priest or w/e) makes absolutely no sense. Not just playing up flaws to preach to the choir, I don't even understand whether it's for or against gay marriage. I mean, I assume it's against based on the source but if Harvey Milk said I think it'd make about as much sense.
Posted by Cherry Pirate on September 8, 2010 at 11:34 AM

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