Find Your Valentine
Slog
News & ArtsThursday, September 2, 2010
Sex / Hetero / Religion Meet The Bubbleator
Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Sep 2, 2010 at 10:20 AM
"Being Mormon, I can't look at porn or nudity," writes some Mormon dude who can't look at porn or nudity. "So I have to get creative. That's why I invented 'bubbling.' Hard to explain so just scroll down."
And here's what you'll find when you scroll down:
More—and more disturbing—examples of "bubbling" (what appear to be underage girls are given bubble treatment) can be found here. (Thanks to Slog tipper Chris!)
3
I didn't follow the link 'cause you basically told us it was kiddie porn.
Isn't that a little illegal? Even if it's Mormon-approved??
Isn't that a little illegal? Even if it's Mormon-approved??
4
I get it--you IMAGINE the nudity, the nipples, the labia! It's almost like a FANTASY! but MORMON! thank Jeebus for Photoshop (or magical spectacles, whichever)!
I'm sure this will be a revelation to gay Mormons as well.
I'm sure this will be a revelation to gay Mormons as well.
6
Um, dear Mormon guy, this counts as porn for you. Sorry.
Plus, how did he find the pictures to "bubble" without looking at p0rn?
Although, it's amazing how the Cheeto-colored web makes everything seem worse than it is.
Plus, how did he find the pictures to "bubble" without looking at p0rn?
Although, it's amazing how the Cheeto-colored web makes everything seem worse than it is.
8
Why do religious people spend so much time trying to trick God into thinking they're not committing a sin?
9
Without the alteration, the young women are wearing clothing clearly legal on every beach in the country. With it, they appear to be be naked. Way to avoid looking at anything titillating, Mr. Hypocrisy-is-a-Stench-in-the-Nostrils-of-the-Lord.
10
@8 God to Mormon: "Dude! You totally get a free pass, since you used the bubbles! Those guys who didn't are down there in Hell right now with those bikini chicks. LOOsuhs!"
12
Um, 2, 5, and 6: That's the whole point. Accentuating the near-nudity.
Also apparently this guy is far from the first one to do it, and it has been around for a while on 4chan (surprise!) among other sites.
Also apparently this guy is far from the first one to do it, and it has been around for a while on 4chan (surprise!) among other sites.
13
ATTENTION EVERYONE: THE GUY IS NOT ACTUALLY MORMON, NOR DID HE COME UP WITH THIS. 4CHAN HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR MONTHS, HE JUST MADE UP A DUMB STORY TO INTRODUCE IT.
Also, if this gives some poor pedophile a better way to get off without hurting a kid, then I'd say it's a net good.
Also, if this gives some poor pedophile a better way to get off without hurting a kid, then I'd say it's a net good.
14
Actually it seems like most people are missing the point. The point is not to remove the bikinis because they are scandalous and provocative, the point is to remove them in a clever way so as to trick the brain into filling in the blanks with nudity. However, it's still not porn since there's no actually nudity (at least no actual nipples, bush, vulva, etc.). The bubbling is supposed to make it MORE porny and stimulating while still not breaking the rules.
Of course, this just makes it even more hypocritical. Religion is silly.
Of course, this just makes it even more hypocritical. Religion is silly.
17
I'm pretty sure masturbating is still breaking the Mormon rules, badly enough that you're supposed to confess face-to-face with a bishop.
So I guess this is just a way to motivate you to go out and get married and start replenishing. Yeah, that's it.
So I guess this is just a way to motivate you to go out and get married and start replenishing. Yeah, that's it.
18
So... Looking at naked chicks is bad. But "bubbling" a picture of scantily clad women so that you can imagine they are naked gets a big thumbs-up from god. Is that right?
Boy, religious people are silly.
Boy, religious people are silly.
21
the comments on that site are hysterical, much funnier than the original "bubbling". A+ troll job.
"Is there a tutorial or software I can use to do this myself?
richardcurtle [ed] gmail dot com
Thanks! " (guy signed up just to post this)
"dis has potienal"
"lol great idea. looks like they are wearing no clothes. lol"
"Is there a tutorial or software I can use to do this myself?
richardcurtle [ed] gmail dot com
Thanks! " (guy signed up just to post this)
"dis has potienal"
"lol great idea. looks like they are wearing no clothes. lol"
22
I just want to reiterate what has been said: This is a 4chan /b/tard not a mormon. It's a neat trick, but don't nobody go makin a fool of themselves by using it as a premise in an argument about religious sexual oppression.
23
I'm pretty sure that God made boobs, (if one believes in God) so why is looking at them such a sin?
24
The 4chan bit at least explains why there are bubbled pictures of young teenage girls in there! It's still gross, but as most 4chan denizens are sad basement-dwelling 15 year old guys, it makes more sense.
25
@23:
If it gives you "impure thoughts", then yes.
@14:
If someone is masturbating to it, it's porn, whether they see naughty bits or no.
If it gives you "impure thoughts", then yes.
@14:
If someone is masturbating to it, it's porn, whether they see naughty bits or no.
28
If it looks that much like kiddie porn, I'm afraid to click on the link for fear of being labeled a perv.
29
@22: Seconded. This is all over /b/, and has been for ages.
Dan, I think you've been trolled. It's unlikely that some Mormon dude invented this; never believe someone claiming to have invented a meme unless they have hard evidence and corroboration. You dun goofed.
Dan, I think you've been trolled. It's unlikely that some Mormon dude invented this; never believe someone claiming to have invented a meme unless they have hard evidence and corroboration. You dun goofed.
30
I get a kick out of the way he says "Because I'm Mormon, I'm not supposed to look at nudity or porn." As though the Pope or the Archbishop of Canterbury encourage church members to look at porn.
Now that I think of it, I remember my school Principal, Sister Bridget Marie, telling us, "Young men, you should look at Playboy every month. It will save you from an occasion of sin."
Now that I think of it, I remember my school Principal, Sister Bridget Marie, telling us, "Young men, you should look at Playboy every month. It will save you from an occasion of sin."
31
@25 All-girls Mormon summer camp taught me some great things: shorts must be longer than the span of your arms against your sides; shirts should be worn over bathing suits.
Ya know, just in case we'd have impure thoughts about the other girls.
Ya know, just in case we'd have impure thoughts about the other girls.
32
This reminds me of some Turkish Muslims I used to know. They were great guys, but would always flick a bit of their booze on the ground when drinking. When I asked them about it, they said it was because the Koran says "not one drop of alcohol" is to be consumed. So that was the one drop that they wouldn't consume, and then they'd drink the rest.
37
Apparently Matthew 5:28 doesn't apply to THIS mormon.
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
39
Being a recovering /b/tard I am proud to admit that I didn't know this was a meme.
AND I'd like to echo the sentiments of @2 et al. It (that photo at least, not following link) is fucking hot.
AND I'd like to echo the sentiments of @2 et al. It (that photo at least, not following link) is fucking hot.
40
@38: If you read "The Yiddish Policemen's Union", there's a few interesting paragraphs about pretending that telephone wires strung across poles constitute doorways, thus making the streets they surround technically "indoors", and therefore justifying carrying money around there during Shabbat.
41
Theological hair-splittery is generally embarrassing. I knew a Mormon who wouldn't drink tea or coffee because they were specifically banned stimulative drinks. But caffeine? As long as it was in soft drinks, it was okay to drink until your heart jumps out of your chest. Cherry Dr. Pepper was his fave.
42
These religious types all seem to think their Lord is a moron. I'm sure God is fooled by the bubbles. A Christian girl in my school had anal sex, and continued to claim she was a virgin. Is god so easily tricked?
So much of Christian "morality" drives me crazy, because it seems to be oriented toward working the system, instead of taking the teachings of peace, love, and compassion to heart, and behaving accordingly.
So much of Christian "morality" drives me crazy, because it seems to be oriented toward working the system, instead of taking the teachings of peace, love, and compassion to heart, and behaving accordingly.
44
Those dumb bubbles don't fool me, dumbass. And the fact that you're "Mormon" means you're going to Hell, regardless of how much you do or don't touch yourself, you worthless idolator. You're still condemned. And also, now that I'm hooked up to the Interwebz (THANK YOU, wireless hookup), I'm gonna be watchin' y'all a little closer. This porno stuff, bubbles or not, is a big ixnay when you go to see St. Peter. I'm just sayin'.
46
You'd think any god that was anti-nudity would quite making so many naked people. And yet, no one has ever been born with clothes on...
48
#30 - that was a surprisingly perceptive nun! If more were like her, sounds as though many kids wouldn't be so fouled up after a parochial education.
50
The entire internet really does freed off of /b/ and reddit. I read slog for original content, not this week old reposted crap.
51
all i have to say is ovals would be better. they would fit more of the cleavage into the shot. but really the bikinis make it sexier
52
Ewww kiddie porn is right. Isn't he defying the whole repressive nature of his religion by doing this? What an idiot.
53
Does he think God is stupid? The problem with nudity isn't actually seeing the naughty bits, it's feeling lustful. Bubbling is as bad a sin, and it's less satisfying. Lose-lose situation.
54
On the very same day that the "creator" posted it in that thread, somebody comments "someone visits 4chan a lot", implying that 4chan has already been doing this. This being "Mormon porn" is just some filler made to confirm to your previously held prejudices while providing a backstory so that it's more memorable. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make Bubble Porn out of bodybuilders and then add a story about how it's Gay Porn.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
SL Letter of the Day: Life Sentence by Dan Savage
-
SL Letter of the Day: Daddy Loves Who? by Dan Savage
-
Required Listening: Howard Stern on Ellen, JC Penney, Bullied Gay Kids, Rosie, Santorum, Bachmann, et al by Dan Savage
-
Crowdsourcing Uncut Police Video from the Dec. 12 Occupy Protest at the Port of Seattle by Eli Sanders
-
State Legislator Testifies That His Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage Came to Him from a Commercial for Jack in the Box by Christopher Frizzelle
-
The AP Is Reporting That Whitney Houston Is Dead by Paul Constant
-
Slog Bible Study: Deuteronomy 21:10-14 by Goldy
-
"Let me be the first one to say: My business will refuse to participate in a same-sex marriage ceremony," by Republican Representative Matt Shea of the Spokane Valley by Eli Sanders
-
The Onion Is on a Roll: "Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon" by Charles Mudede
-
"I don't know if I want to be here [if gay marriage passes]," by Republican State Senator Jay Rodne of North Bend by Eli Sanders
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (54) RSS