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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Where To Start?

Posted by on Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 8:39 AM

I'll start with this: the Fosse estate is going to sue, right? And... when is this set exactly? The 1930s? Does this signal the end of the burlesque revival? Or will Burlesque be burlesque's Whip It?

 

Comments (34) RSS

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1
Dare I hope that this becomes the spiritual successor to Showgirls?
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on September 1, 2010 at 8:46 AM
2
No kidding, where to start?

Yes, a Fosse rip-off (complete with Caberet rip-off). I guess you could call it an homage to be generous.

And you could start counting the cliches from the moment the trailer starts. Girl on bus with one-way ticket to the big city. Wide-eyed girl working at club. Jaded club mom (see Cher). Jaded club manager (see Stanley Tucci). Wise bartender. Big surprise, girl on bus has talent.

I see a latter-day Showgirls in the making.
Posted by westello on September 1, 2010 at 8:49 AM
Vince 3
Cliche.
Posted by Vince on September 1, 2010 at 8:49 AM
Canuck 4
It'll be worth seeing only if Cam Gigandet takes off his shirt. (And memo to self: Never get stuff injected into my lips...)
Posted by Canuck on September 1, 2010 at 8:54 AM
SurlyYurmom 5
Stanley Tucci?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Posted by SurlyYurmom on September 1, 2010 at 9:00 AM
nixor 6
I CANNOT WAIT.
Posted by nixor on September 1, 2010 at 9:03 AM
7
"Big surprise, girl on bus has talent. "

I would be great if the movie followed all the same cliches, and when the moment of truth came, she had all the talent and grace of a drunken bear.

I always loved the "Trigger Happy TV" where Dom Jolly pulled up in a limo and told a stranger on the street, "I"m a big producer and I think you might be perfect for a big picture I'm working on--do what you just did one more time for me." And of course when they do, he says "nevermind" and abruptly drives off.
Posted by Fr0zt on September 1, 2010 at 9:08 AM
8
@7 Who says drunken bears can't have talent?! I'll have you know I do a mean Bohemian Rhapsody, thankyouverymuch.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on September 1, 2010 at 9:10 AM
9
Coyote Ugly.
Posted by Judith on September 1, 2010 at 9:17 AM
Akbar Fazil 10
Was that Alan Cumming in there? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Seriously....this thing just screams Showgirls.
Posted by Akbar Fazil on September 1, 2010 at 9:27 AM
Kevin_BGFH 11
42nd Street
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on September 1, 2010 at 9:28 AM
12
dreadful. real burlesque dancers have some meat on their bone. and if i have to hear xtina howl another run like that, i will cut off my ears. both of them. cheesesfuckinchrist.
Posted by CivilRights4All on September 1, 2010 at 9:30 AM
13
bones.
Posted by CivilRights4All on September 1, 2010 at 9:31 AM
14
Xtincta
Posted by X-Tincta on September 1, 2010 at 9:38 AM
Cherry Pirate 15
Fuck you Dan, how dare you not tag that with some kind of warning! I polluted my goddam mind with that aggravating shit tornado based on our history together. Our history being that you post videos worth watching and I watch them. You have sullied that bond, and sullied it good.
Posted by Cherry Pirate on September 1, 2010 at 9:58 AM
16
Please tell me it is in 3D-IMAX!!!
Posted by jaycbird on September 1, 2010 at 10:15 AM
brandon 17
1. Cher is looking more expressive than usual. Plastic Surgery must have worn off a little, yay.

2. Cher made it a point to call out Christina specifically at her endless fair well tour saying "I hate those bitches too". Seems like an odd pairing.

3. Total Chicago ripoff

4. Christ, could they make it more obvious that she's going to fuck the bartender?!

5. I don't fucking care, it's going to be awesome(ly bad). Either way, its fucking Cher, we don't have a choice!

Posted by brandon on September 1, 2010 at 10:22 AM
BrandonC 18
I hope the Burlesque revival doesn't end. I freakin' love it. I even bought a bowler hat, and a suit with a vest. I'm invested in this thing! It's always Hollywood that's gotta ruin it.
Posted by BrandonC on September 1, 2010 at 10:55 AM
19
Even comparing this unfavorably to Cabaret is an insult to Cabaret. A ripoff of Showgirls, sure, but Cabaret? I didn't see any hint of social commentary in that trailer.

But I do have to say... it's amazing what they can do with CGI these days. Cher looks at least twice as realistic as Jar Jar Binks.
Posted by madcap on September 1, 2010 at 10:56 AM
RugbySkin 20
I cannot WAIT for DListed's review of this fuckery...
Posted by RugbySkin on September 1, 2010 at 11:07 AM
TheMisanthrope 21
Didn't Schmader post this last month as more of a sequel to Showgirls than either of the upcoming Showgirls 2 movies?

God, I can't wait to see this. Cinerama managers, if you're reading this, you need to have this movie for opening night. I don't care what happens after that, but Burlesque, opening night, Cinerama...it would be the bomb!
Posted by TheMisanthrope on September 1, 2010 at 11:18 AM
gloomy gus 22
@21, your opening night suggestion is perfect.
Posted by gloomy gus on September 1, 2010 at 11:26 AM
23
damn, y'all are rough...
Posted by MT3 on September 1, 2010 at 12:11 PM
24
This looks totally embarrassing and I can't decide what's funnier: Cher's unexplained mouth, or Xtina's naive baby-girl-in-the-city voice. I'm squealing with embarrassed delight. I really hope Brown Derby gets a hold of this gem.
Posted by Jessica Price on September 1, 2010 at 12:12 PM
Roscoe 25
The Fosse estate doesn't seem to be particularly litigious, considering that they still haven't sued Rob Marshall.

The real lawsuit should be Cher suing her plastic surgeon, makeup artists and hair stylists.
Posted by Roscoe on September 1, 2010 at 12:32 PM
Posted by venomlash on September 1, 2010 at 1:19 PM
Bauhaus I 27
Oh good. Christine Aguilera is returning to her roots - her strip-down and dry-hump, spine-cracking melisma-ridden act after a few years of posing as a Lady of the Arts (ever hear any of her duets?!?).

Can't say there won't be an audience for it. Look how many people bought her records and attended her concerts. Gosh, I think I remember seeing video of 12-year-old girls in clunky heels and textured hose going to see her. Don't expect to see them at the Thanksgiving dinner table this year (and that might be a good thing).

But the return to musical hooker-dom? Can she be broke already?
Posted by Bauhaus I on September 1, 2010 at 1:21 PM
28
I'm hoping this signals the end.
Posted by scratchmaster joe on September 1, 2010 at 1:22 PM
Cory 29
Bleh.
Posted by Cory on September 1, 2010 at 1:44 PM
30
There is no DIY subcultural trend so marginal that it can't be co-opted and turned into a hackneyed story of an Underdog Who Beats the Odds To Rise To the Top.
Posted by Rocky Balboa on September 1, 2010 at 2:42 PM
Jaydog5280 31
I may just wait until this shows up on PPV, but will see it eventually... if only because of Cher and Stanley Tucci (yes, I think he's sexy)!
Posted by Jaydog5280 on September 1, 2010 at 5:13 PM
JulietEcho 32
Awwwww... why does Kristin Bell have to be in this!? Now a tiny part of me wants to see it. Somebody had better get that girl a starring role in another tv series soon so I can stop re-watching Veronica Mars and she can stop stooping to projects way beneath her talent level.

That is all.
Posted by JulietEcho on September 1, 2010 at 5:27 PM
very bad homo 33
I'm a gay, and I love Cher, and I still think this looks almost unwatchable.
Posted by very bad homo on September 1, 2010 at 7:22 PM
pales 34
Great premise - I don't care about the clichés, I love me some cabaret - great talent, suck ass script. You just know that Kristen Bell is going to pull some evil shit, and she ain't talking about herself when she says "one of us has underestimated the other."

But 19 is right: this is nowhere near the same league as Cabaret (the show). I saw it at Studio 54 with Alan Cumming as the emcee and so I will forgive him this, just as I have forgiven him for Josie & The Pussycats.
Posted by pales on September 2, 2010 at 3:30 PM

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