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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Crime Suspected Shitter Apologizes for Property Damage

Posted by on Wed, Sep 1, 2010 at 2:33 PM

Posted by news intern Matt Luby.

Do you remember that scene in "Mulholland Drive" that featured a mysterious, creepy man hanging out next to a dumpster? In case you missed it, imagine a scene so uncomfortable and bizarre that it has managed to crowd out discussion of the film's initially more famous Naomi Watts lesbian sex scene even in crowds of hormone-addled teenage boy movie buffs.

On August 26, witnesses in the 400 block of N 36th Street reported seeing an even weirder scene. According to the filed police report, a property owner in the area saw a guy shitting in the alley behind his property and asked him to stop or at least shit somewhere "more discreet." According to the report, the shitter became angry at the suggestion and broke a bamboo stick over the property owner's head (perhaps because he was in the middle of a really satisfying dump and didn't appreciate the interruption).

After the ka-pow moment, the report states that the shitter took off running. A witness saw the assault and took off after him, eventually catching him. When officers arrived, the victim requested that the suspect "be warned for what he did today and to stay away from his property." In turn, the suspect "apologized for defecating on [the victim's] property," and was released at the scene.

 

Comments (10) RSS

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Matt from Denver 1
I think it's time that I see that movie again.
Posted by Matt from Denver on September 1, 2010 at 2:54 PM
schmacky 2
That downtown Fremont area has become the Pioneer Square of Seattle's northwest quadrant...cheap eats, frat/sorority jackasses, weird drunks and druggies, and a battered, but still tangible sense of historical character (well..."historical" within the relatively limited timeline of Seattle neighborhoods).

Also like Pioneer Square, it's not a bad place to hang out during the day and on weeknights (though the Google/Adobe crowd ups the douche factor), but must be avoided at all cost on weekends.
Posted by schmacky on September 1, 2010 at 3:07 PM
michaelp 3
A: using "ka-pow" in a post is genius. New favorite intern!

B: who ended up cleaning the shit?
Posted by michaelp on September 1, 2010 at 3:18 PM
4
Another case where a plastic grocery bag must have come in handy.
Posted by Brrrrzap! on September 1, 2010 at 3:34 PM
biffp 5
We had this happening at our house, which is near Green Lake, but the person was coming back day after day. Considered leaving some reading material for him, but in the end, thought "screw it!"
Posted by biffp on September 1, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Will in Seattle 6
Tiger traps work really well.

Just brand them with "Official SPD Property".
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on September 1, 2010 at 3:40 PM
sirkowski 7
I hope everyone involved in this story washed their hands with soap after the events.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on September 1, 2010 at 3:56 PM
Tingleyfeeln 8
At least the SPD showed restraint somewhere.
Posted by Tingleyfeeln on September 1, 2010 at 4:20 PM
Fnarf 9
I drive down that alley twice a week. If I saw him shitting there I'd be tempted to run him over. But I probably wouldn't, unless he was one of the frat creeps @2 mentions. Such a vile street 36th is.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on September 1, 2010 at 4:30 PM
Cynic Romantic 10
Should have rubbed his nose in it.
Posted by Cynic Romantic on September 1, 2010 at 5:06 PM

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