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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Life To Die in a Chimney

Posted by Dominic Holden on Tue, Aug 31, 2010 at 5:31 PM

This must be one of the worst ways to die:

A doctor involved in an "on-again, off-again" relationship apparently tried to force her way into her boyfriend's home by sliding down the chimney, police said Tuesday. Her decomposing body was found there three days later.

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, first tried to get into the house with a shovel, then climbed a ladder to the roof last Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said. While she was trying to break in, the man she was pursuing escaped unnoticed from another exit "to avoid a confrontation," authorities said.

Comments (27) RSS

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I always liked Bones.

It's a good show about a doctor ...

Posted by Will in Seattle

on August 31, 2010 at 5:44 PM

This is not tragic. It's called "thinning the herd".

Posted by Pfffffft on August 31, 2010 at 5:50 PM

I have always had a bit of sympathy when I heard the stories of a parent trying to play Santa Claus and getting stuck.

I have no sympathy for this idiot. She deserved her fate.

Posted by bgenot on August 31, 2010 at 5:53 PM

But how many of you that sit and judge me
Have walked the streets of Bakersfield?

Posted by Fnarf

on August 31, 2010 at 5:55 PM

And that's how I found out there was no Labor Day Fairy.

Posted by jzimbert on August 31, 2010 at 6:01 PM

@ 4 I had the unfortunate experience of spending my teen years there- junior high and high school. I expect nothing more from this fucked up backwards town. Fuck Bakersfield.

Posted by kittenalarm on August 31, 2010 at 6:01 PM

I was driving home early Sunday morning through Bakersfield
Listening to gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said, 'You know, you always have the Lord by your side,"
And I was so pleased to be informed of this
That I ran 20 red lights in His honor
Thank you Jesus, thank you Lord.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVEdYYMlO…

Posted by gloomy gus on August 31, 2010 at 6:11 PM

@5 FTW.

Still laughing.

Posted by TheMisanthrope on August 31, 2010 at 6:14 PM

Clearly this "Dr." was not a Ph.D. in physics or engineering.... maybe a very flexible chiropractor.

Posted by Jaymz on August 31, 2010 at 6:49 PM

I'm wondering if she wasn't just a total nutjob. Jesus, bitch--if you're that determined to get in, just break a fucking window.

Chimneys aren't really like what's depicted in some Warner Bros. cartoon--in the very least, even if the flue is big enough and straight enough for you to slide your skinny ass down, you're probably going to encounter a cast iron damper blocking your exit.

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell on August 31, 2010 at 7:59 PM

My question is how exactly one dies under those circumstances. A person should be able to survive three days without food or water. Did she fall to her death? And why didn't she cry for help? Or call somebody?

Posted by thursdaydynamo on August 31, 2010 at 8:19 PM

First drowning puppies, now this? Can't you save this sort of stuff for Last Days?

Posted by Free Lunch on August 31, 2010 at 8:27 PM

Decomposing body after 3 days?

Posted by Jenny from the Block on August 31, 2010 at 8:44 PM

@ 11, it was probably such a tight fit that she probably got wedged in and wasn't able to breathe.

Posted by Matt from Denver on August 31, 2010 at 8:56 PM

maybe gravity compressed her rib cage?

Posted by vooodooo84 on August 31, 2010 at 9:09 PM

Doctor, huh? Dollars to donuts she was a psychiatrist.

Posted by TVDinner

on August 31, 2010 at 9:47 PM

Same thing happened to Phoebe Cates dad.

Posted by Stripe on August 31, 2010 at 9:50 PM

@16, guess again, she was an internist. I looked it up because I guessed surgeon.

Posted by gloomy gus on August 31, 2010 at 10:37 PM

17, what the hell are you talking about?

Posted by paulus on September 1, 2010 at 12:37 AM

@19 It's a joke reference to Gremlins (as was #5).
Pay no mind.

Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on September 1, 2010 at 1:11 AM

Ruling out shenanigans, my theory is that she lost control, slid down too far before she could realize that it would be too narrow for her body and suffocated. Otherwise, she would have been screaming bloody murder for those three days and someone -- the boyfriend that LIVES there -- would have heard her.

Posted by Judith on September 1, 2010 at 4:02 AM