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News & ArtsWednesday, August 18, 2010
Politics / News Life Imitates Onion
Posted by Anthony Hecht on Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 11:51 PM
The Onion, about 24 hours ago, on the last U.S. combat troops leaving Iraq:
"President Obama deserves zero praise for this borderline accomplishment," Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) told reporters. "After all, if it weren't for President Bush ordering the initial invasion of Iraq and making it his central foreign policy initiative, we wouldn't be here right now awkwardly celebrating the muddled outcome of whatever the hell it is we've been doing over there for the past seven years."
The real John McCain, on Twitter, about 3 hours ago:
Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credit for victory.
Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?
1
John Mccain is a dried bitter husk of a caricature of a shell of a man. Some people marvel at his longevity but I say he died a long time ago.
3
I'm supposed to respect Republicans despite our ideological differences, but they make it very difficult when they don't respect my intelligence.
6
The surge "worked" primarily by bribing various factions not to fight and having the luck to occur when most ethnic cleansing had finished. Not to mention it didn't even accomplish its stated purpose: providing a stable enough environment for the government to pass a constitution.
It wasn't until after that had clearly failed that the goal posts moved to simply "reducing violence".
It wasn't until after that had clearly failed that the goal posts moved to simply "reducing violence".
7
I'd be willing to give ol' Shrubbie all kinds of credit if we had actually won something. As it stands, it's just another Viet Nam that Obama had the good sense to end. If only he had similar sense about Afghanistan.
8
We shouldn't have been there in the first place. It ruined our relations in the Muslim world. We weren't prepared for a war of Bush's choosing which resulted in thousands of Americans dying needlessly. We wasted a trillion dollars. It ruined our efforts in Afghanistan, the country involved in the World Trade Center attacks. It was run terribly from the start, resulting in the unnecessary deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis.
And it resulted in a crisis of confidence here and abroad. Bush is a mother fucking idiot!
And it resulted in a crisis of confidence here and abroad. Bush is a mother fucking idiot!
10
"perhaps you girls heard of the "surge"?"
Well, you've heard of it, which means the marketing hype worked for those like you who can't understand nuance. You know, subtle details like we paid them to stop shooting us! Also, as 6 points out, the Iraqis still can't build a government for shit and that's what the glorious surge was supposed to do.
"let's see how Obama's Necessary War turns out....."
Yes, they brought in the same PR rep (Petraeus) to sell the Afghan surge, but that won't work either.
Well, you've heard of it, which means the marketing hype worked for those like you who can't understand nuance. You know, subtle details like we paid them to stop shooting us! Also, as 6 points out, the Iraqis still can't build a government for shit and that's what the glorious surge was supposed to do.
"let's see how Obama's Necessary War turns out....."
Yes, they brought in the same PR rep (Petraeus) to sell the Afghan surge, but that won't work either.
12
We have left Iraq riddled with corpses and half-finished infrastructure projects. Much of the country is without consistent electrical power (Saddam kept the lights on). Homosexual Iraqis are being assassinated in wave after wave of violent purges (gays were relatively untouched under Saddam). There is NO GOVERNMENT IN IRAQ. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!
14
Let's also give Dubya some praise for protecting us from terrorism. And fixing the economy. And expanding our personal rights. And reducing the rich-poor gap.
15
@8 Amazing what we'll do to maintain our way of life and try to secure oil and gas rights. Also shocking to remember what Nixon was impeached for in comparison to what Team Bush did, and got away with scot free. Almost makes you nostalgic for a little wire-tapping...at least Bush & Co. might be in jail by now...
17
@16, even better was all the thousands of pounds of plastic explosive and small-arms caches we found and then didn't bother to secure or destroy, because they didn't look like WMDs.
18
Agreed, @1. Back in high school, I was required to "volunteer" on his campaign. Although he had a nasty temper, he had was a bit more principled, and still had some traits that could be admired, even if I didn't agree with him. Now the current GOP party has sucked away any remnants of his soul and we are left with - as you put it - a "dried bitter husk" who cannot think for himself; one foolish enough to launch the likes of Sarah Palin onto the country without a moment of regret.
20
@ 15,
Bush is guilty of at least 30 felonies for authorizing and repeatedly re-authorizing the NSA to spy illegally on American citizens' communications without warrants or cause. Daddy O refuses to even investigate any of these crimes. We've had a total breakdown of law and order among our E-leets.
Bush is guilty of at least 30 felonies for authorizing and repeatedly re-authorizing the NSA to spy illegally on American citizens' communications without warrants or cause. Daddy O refuses to even investigate any of these crimes. We've had a total breakdown of law and order among our E-leets.
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