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News & ArtsTuesday, August 17, 2010
TV Another Day, Another Negligible Celebrity Assaulted by Sociopathic Clowns
Posted by David Schmader on Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 9:48 AM
Following Tila Tequila's stoning by Juggalos comes the clobbering of comedian Lisa Lampanelli by guests at the Celebrity Roast of David Hasselhoff, broadcast last night on Comedy Central. Here's a sampler assembled by Jezebel.
Okay. I understand such roasts are all about pushing the envelope and going too far and hurrah for that. But something's just off about the cumulative Lampanelli bashing. For one thing, it went down at what was supposed to be a roast of David Hasselhoff. But the main thing that icks me out is Lampanelli's laugh, that auto-cackle she grants even the lamest jokes about what a fucking pig she is. The laugh is clearly meant to communicate good sportsmanship, and it does, but not without a creepy PTSD sheen of "I learned how to do this the hard way."
(Not helping: That scene in Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work where Rivers submits herself to a Comedy Central roast, even though she knows it will be nothing but lame jokes about her plastic head and dried-out vagina from comedians who never achieved a fraction of her success. Rivers' reason: The big paycheck, positing celebrity roastees as some comedy version of sub-bottom sex workers, getting paid to get consensually tortured.)
Also: Lisa Lampanelli is just NOT THAT FAT.
Seriously, I've never seen her look slimmer.
2
Do you understand how these work? The comedians rip each other, one by one, before they get to the guest of honor. Lampanelli is one of the foulest people at any roast, she says incredibly horrible things, so she gets it back in spades. Besides, anything they say to/about her is essentially them *copying her act* and regurgitating it back to her. It's what she does for a living. And she's really, really good at it. I wouldn't worry about her PTSD. I'd worry about you overanalyzing a lame roast of David Hasselhoff.
4
Yeah, what @2 said, except that if they are regurgitating her act back to her, she got off really easy. Andy Dick's a fag. Mexican guys steal. Old women's vaginas are dusty crusty caves of doom. This is what these roasts are.
5
It seems like there always is a secondary target at these roasts, and it never really sat right with me... Lampanelli is always a good target, but I remember Courtney Love, Andy Dick and Bea Arthur being targets at roasts they attended as well.
6
I have little sympathy for Joan Rivers feeling out of place at a roast. She made (part of) her living for the past decade or two roasting celebrities on the red carpets. She has said some incredibly foul things in her time...as have most comedians.
Jezebel is just trying to get its femi-nazi rocks off by saying "Oh, poor Lampanelli"...the self-described "Comedy's Loveable Queen of Mean" and her website is www.insultcomic.com. Psh, bitches please. If you can dish it, you sure as hell better be able to take it, and Lisa knows that.
Jezebel is just trying to get its femi-nazi rocks off by saying "Oh, poor Lampanelli"...the self-described "Comedy's Loveable Queen of Mean" and her website is www.insultcomic.com. Psh, bitches please. If you can dish it, you sure as hell better be able to take it, and Lisa knows that.
7
They really gave it to Hulk Hogan during this one. And he was obviously uncomfortable reading the jokes that were written for him. At one point, while making a joke at Pam Anderson's expense, he shook his head, looked down and said, "Do I really have to say this?" And the self deprecating stuff that was written for him was all about his divorce, ex wife, and fuck up of a son(who was there).
I thought that was horribly sad. He was just an actor handed a script to read. He's not even a comedian.
I thought that was horribly sad. He was just an actor handed a script to read. He's not even a comedian.
8
Celebrity roasts are not about "pushing the envelope". They're about disgusting subhuman pieces of shit being as disgusting as possible. The only thing that separates these scum from Juggalo scum is they're rich and better-dressed (except the creep in the leather underpants). They're about as funny as stomach cancer.
11
Wow. A fantastic example of why I make a point to avoid anything that Comedy Central is advertising. Daily Show, Colbert, and South Park are the only shows with any class on that channel, and considering that latter show, that's pretty damn sad.
And WTF was with that last guy before the Hoff himself? "You are one fat lady. You- you have- you have more chins than a Chinese fat chick with tons of chins... 'cuz she's so fat." Please, whoever you are, drop dead. You contribute nothing.
And WTF was with that last guy before the Hoff himself? "You are one fat lady. You- you have- you have more chins than a Chinese fat chick with tons of chins... 'cuz she's so fat." Please, whoever you are, drop dead. You contribute nothing.
14
@8: Oh oh, someone is procrastinating at his dead end job again. Anyway, I was talking to Mrs. Fnarf in bed the other night about your tiny dick - seems to be a favorite topic of hers. She said your dick is so small, when she took it to court they threw it out for lack of evidence.
The Stranger should do celebrity roast threads. Starting with Fnarf!
The Stranger should do celebrity roast threads. Starting with Fnarf!
16
Lampanelli is famous for insult humor herself, though, isn't she? The "Queen of Mean"? I have a hard time believing she'd be hurt by a bunch of comics giving her back a big plate of what she typically dishes out.
19
The greatest roast performance ever was Norm MacDonald's roast of Bob Saget, followed closely by Stephen Colbert's roast of Chevy Chase.
20
The rise in celebrity pelting incidents seems to have shadowed the rise of celebrities you would like to pelt with something. Could there be a connection?
22
It's a fucking roast...
And as far as crushed souls go, i think when they unleashed on Carrot Top (i forget who's roast it was) takes the [carrot] cake.
And as far as crushed souls go, i think when they unleashed on Carrot Top (i forget who's roast it was) takes the [carrot] cake.
23
the real crime here, as noted in the jezebel post, is that the jokes are tired and unfunny. being so fake-outraged you refer to a bunch of d-list comedians as subhuman scum for the crime of being not funny, on the other hand, is truly hilarious.
24
Gottfried FTW. Gilbert sets up for the fat joke, but takes it to the SLAVE SHIP. Artful. Everyone else just serves up lukewarm "Yo Mamma's so Fat" jokes. I wouldn't be surprised if LL wrote half of them herself and gave them out as party favors beforehand to get more air time.
25
Yeah the only thing funny about Hulk Hogan's joke was the absurd notion that "do the job" (lose a wrestling match) for anyone.
26
Lisa Lampinelli is the new Bea Arthur at these things but instead of telling her she has a dick (like, explicitly saying she has a dick not calling her a man) they call her fat and ugly. Which is what she calls herself in the act. She does hand it out better then anyone at these things, her and that skinny dark haired woman.
27
You smart dummies are going for nuance? At a roast? Even succeeding so far as to get offended?
Wow. Careful you don't drown in the shower, Aspies.
Wow. Careful you don't drown in the shower, Aspies.
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