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Friday, August 13, 2010

Gawker Finally Discovers Charles Mudede, Does It Wrong

Posted by on Fri, Aug 13, 2010 at 6:00 AM

You guys, I appreciate the effort here, but this is basically the most innocuous Mudede post of all time. For your outrageification, I present Mudede's greatest hits:

8. The time he compared the town of Enumclaw to an anus:

If we see the volcano, Mt Rainier, as the geological equivalent to the organ that got the horse its name (Big Dick), then we must see the town of Enumclaw as an anus. It is the final point of the urban body.

7. His rules on crying:

Nothing is bad enough, worthy enough for a young (or old) man (and I only speak for men) to cry about.

6. The time he said that pregnant women are unattractive:

Sex with a pregnant women is not right or wrong but dishonest. It’s an act that is close to pity. One does it because one is trying to be nice, and not being honest about how much their partner’s body has changed.

5. Everything to do with dogs:

If a human animal puts his/her asshole directly on the floor of a grocery store, he/she will be arrested.

4. The time he killed a horse:

I returned four days later to find a horrible sight in Dandy's section of the stable.

3. Everything to do with Amanda Knox:

She is a hole that only knows how to be a hole.

2. The time he said that Lawrence Fishburne's daughter became a prostitute because she wants to have sex with her dad:

We can begin to suspect that the daughter wanted sex from the father but was denied—this block meant that she could never be like her mother, a woman who fucked the absolute master.

1. The time when he said that Steven Curtis Chapman's son ran over his sister because she was Chinese:

The other Chinese girls in this wholesome family better keep on eye on their American “brother.”

Also, you guys totally skewered Seattle with your awesome rain jokes (except you forgot coffee! And flannel! And Bill Gates—what a nerd!), but what's a "waterbrain"? Is that a hydrocephalus reference? Is hydrocephalus caused by a rainy climate? Is disdain for the middle class a symptom of hydrocephalus? I'm not following. But as for your speculation that Mudede "is either doing some elaborate satire" that you don't get, or he's "some sort of weird hybrid of Marie Antoinette and a class-destructing communist." Yes. Yes on both counts. Congratulations.


Comments (79) RSS

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Canuck 1
1. I think your "waterbrain" could be compared to our "cabin fever," you know, basically an unchanging weather pattern that induces mild insanity.

2. I actually liked that Mudede post. In his way, Charles seemed to be speaking about the futility of over-planning, of missing out on one's life to save for a retirement where you will be too tired (from all that slaving away) to do anything but watch Wheel of Fortune. I think he is saying we are pathetic creatures if we don't learn how to live NOW, and I'm surprised he didn't include a story about the couple that scrimped and saved and "did without" all their lives, only to have their plane crash when they took their first vacation at age 70. Charles is telling us to buy more shoes on Ebay, and put less into our RRSPs.

3. You linked to Gawker, but didn't include this post. For Shame!…
Posted by Canuck on August 13, 2010 at 6:36 AM · Report this
Banna 2
I think they got it about right; they saw Charlse's troll, took a look at it, and dismissed him as a crank. I think that pretty much sums up how most people read a Mudede post. The one thing they got wrong was the PLU hate.
Posted by Banna on August 13, 2010 at 6:39 AM · Report this
Vince 3
I like the way he rapes words and molests sentences so he can ravage the language with perverted thoughts.
Posted by Vince on August 13, 2010 at 6:59 AM · Report this
Pfft, Gawker. If you really want some spectacular wank, go troll Jezebel.
Posted by Zuulabelle on August 13, 2010 at 7:00 AM · Report this
@2: I think the problem a lot of people had with that post was how Charles labeled all of the people robbed by the investment banker as the over planners you refer to, when they were most likely just regular folk that many of us identify with. He seems to think using an investment banker is some usual thing done only by the money obsessed as opposed to it being just one thing folks do along with all the other mundane tasks of life.

But, after reading that post about pregnant women, I think he just totally batshit crazy.
Posted by been there and back again on August 13, 2010 at 7:10 AM · Report this
Posted by former tri-state on August 13, 2010 at 7:28 AM · Report this
Cook 7
it's weird--i often think charles is making absolutely no sense, but that gawker post pissed me off like none other. he might be crazy, but he's our crazy. fuck off, national media criticizing stranger writers
Posted by Cook on August 13, 2010 at 7:38 AM · Report this
It'll probably just make him cackle, but I set up an RSS feed that scrapes the Slog and filters out all the Charles Mudede posts, and life's never been better.
Posted by jon on August 13, 2010 at 7:39 AM · Report this
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot 9
They also forgot a nod to Cobain and Grunge.

I've always assumed that Charles' posts were subtle jokes against the reader. "Hey, you, hope you're not taking life too seriously there, try this idea on your mind grapes." Which means, in my mind, Gawker fell for it.
Posted by Whiskey Tango Foxtrot on August 13, 2010 at 7:39 AM · Report this
dirac 10
gawker is SO bourgeois. back to my waterbrained life.
Posted by dirac on August 13, 2010 at 7:40 AM · Report this
Out For Delivery 11
don't bother charles you can't win. gawker is bigger and smarter.

you're still my fav
Posted by Out For Delivery on August 13, 2010 at 7:43 AM · Report this
Confluence 12
After reading all his crazy ass posts, I'm liking Charles more and more...
Posted by Confluence on August 13, 2010 at 7:53 AM · Report this
The Accidental Theologist 13
I'd say 'fuck Gawker,' but really, who'd want to?
Posted by The Accidental Theologist on August 13, 2010 at 7:56 AM · Report this
The only one that gets my dander up is the brother running over sister story (#1). I think Charles tries to be provocative, just to razz the (in his opinion) fat, lazy, odious, ignorant bourgeoisie, but that post was just over the line.

As one of the most self centered, narcicistic (seeming, anyway) people I'm aware of, I'm sure this whole post and thread tickles him pink (get it? pink!). I think a lot of his opinions have got to be attention getting devices. They can't be real. Right? Right?
Posted by ohthetrees on August 13, 2010 at 7:59 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 15
I've said it before and I'll say it again... Charles' posts seem to hover between misunderstood brilliance and raving lunacy. It's a very, very fine line.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on August 13, 2010 at 8:02 AM · Report this
The Stranger and staff are the Sally Fields of 'journalism' apparently, showing off their insecurities to the whole world with this follow up post. Stuck in Podunk writing for low wages at a masturbatory alt-weekly wishing they could get a job in NYC.

"you like me? You really like me"

Or in the Stranger's case, 'You noticed us?"

BTW Charles Mugabe Mudede's original post was ALL ABOUT RACE, something he admitted in the threads. If these people had been black, he would have been screaming 'theft'. As it is, they were white, so only get his derision.  Apparently planning for the future is only something dumb honkies do. Apparently this is how Mudede/Mugabe likes to ridicule white people, by making fun of how sensible we are by planning; I mean Charles, that really hurts.
Posted by Rhodie on August 13, 2010 at 8:06 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 17
You forgot the infamous "cumbucket" post when that quarterback's girlfriend shot him.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on August 13, 2010 at 8:07 AM · Report this
josh 18
It isn't Richard Lawson's LOLiest post for sure, but he most definitely gets a free lifetime pass for his long history of ther best television recaps ever written.

The comments and his befuddled reaction to it are meta amusing if only as a reminder that not everyone has had ample time to build up a tolerance for the infamous Mudede madness as a fact of daily Internet life.
Posted by josh on August 13, 2010 at 8:10 AM · Report this
JF 19
The thing is Lindy: he's just kind of an asshole. A really smart asshole.
Posted by JF on August 13, 2010 at 8:14 AM · Report this
SurlyYurmom 20
Why would anyone want to be one Gawker!?!? Maybe I'm extra cranky today but they steal people's stories and their lovely partner site acquires companies prototypes and then uses them as leverage aganist the very company they stole it from to get better seats at the next convention. Then there's Jezebel, the site where you can forget all the misogynistic things you read on Gawker because with Jezebel they have your back ladies. Especially when it comes to fighting The Daily Show.

Fuck them. I can't believe a journalist would be anything but ashamed to be on their site. They are professional trolls. They write and publish the most ridiculous things to get page views. They are ruining journalism because they are combining mass media with public media.
Posted by SurlyYurmom on August 13, 2010 at 8:14 AM · Report this
JF 21
@20 Ya but deadspin and fleshbot are the fucking shit.
Posted by JF on August 13, 2010 at 8:15 AM · Report this
Sui generis, baby. Viva Mudede.
Posted by gloomy gus on August 13, 2010 at 8:16 AM · Report this
SurlyYurmom 23
@21 Those two could almost be combined. At least with FleshBot, you're prepared for the fuckery.
Posted by SurlyYurmom on August 13, 2010 at 8:22 AM · Report this
His defense of child prostitution as an imaginary problem doesn't even make the list?

He's not even funny anymore. Activating my Mudede filter today. (h/t seandr)
Posted by RonK, Seattle on August 13, 2010 at 8:23 AM · Report this
@14: I totally agree with you that he is posting just to be provocative. It's obvious that he feels far superior to us average Americans with our obviously small minds while he, the great Charles, having been raised in the wealthy and powerful Mudede family, can see so much more deeply.
He's an arrogant, self centered, classist, spoiled brat who has delusions of his own self importance. He likes to appear to care for the underprivileged, but in truth he looks down upon them too.
Posted by fun fun on August 13, 2010 at 8:31 AM · Report this
onion 26
you know, i always wished that Slog commenters had driven Mudede off intstead of ECB.
Posted by onion on August 13, 2010 at 8:33 AM · Report this
The Charles quotes you pulled out are funny, I get them. But I skip all of Charles's posts because you just have to wade through too much pompous, predictable dreck to get to the good stuff. I like intelligent writing as much as anybody but you can kind of mad-lib his posts and that's just boring. Dan's getting that way too lately.

It's sad, because if the quotes you pulled were truly representative he'd be my favorite.
Posted by kjekkgutt on August 13, 2010 at 8:35 AM · Report this
Joh 28
Posted by Joh on August 13, 2010 at 8:52 AM · Report this
As the child looked at the emperor’s new clothes and said, “the emperor is naked” I must say that Mudede’s posts are rambling nonsense with no deeper meaning.
Posted by MikeB on August 13, 2010 at 8:53 AM · Report this
slake 30
#7 is right. He's OUR asshole! Same with Lindy getting dissed on her Gibson article last month. We can make fun of them all we want, but if others do so, we must defend them!
Posted by slake on August 13, 2010 at 8:55 AM · Report this
How bizarre. The very people who (rightly) skewer Mudede for his off-the-wall posts get all defensive when some New York "outsiders" do the same. How provincial of us.
Posted by bigyaz on August 13, 2010 at 8:57 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 32
I *heart* Charles Mudede. In a completely platonic way, of course.

I disagree with him more often than not.

I don't understand him more often than not.

But he makes me think more than any other Stranger writer. And a flash of brilliance occasionally bursts forth from the insanity.

Never stop, Charles. And never apologize.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on August 13, 2010 at 8:58 AM · Report this
I love Mudede. He has a unique, intelligent perspective. You can read it as off base, or just an interesting, beyond the normal take on the world. Embracing unique visions is exactly what The Stranger should be doing, and I wish there was more of it. Gawker's name describes them perfectly - .

As Dylan famously put it "you try so hard/ but you don't understand/...something is happening here/But you don't know what it is/Do you, Mister..." Lawson
Posted by Meinert on August 13, 2010 at 9:17 AM · Report this
Fnarf 34
What @32 said. Mudede forever.
Posted by Fnarf on August 13, 2010 at 9:17 AM · Report this
PS - Gawker - An awkward, loutish person; an oaf. intr.v. gawked, gawk·ing, gawks. To stare or gape stupidly.
Posted by Meinert on August 13, 2010 at 9:19 AM · Report this
mmennonno 36
Mudede: boring.
Critique of Mudede: boring.
Outrage at critique of Mudede: boring.
Defense of Mudede: boring.
Outrage at defense of Mudede: boring.
Are you seeing a pattern here, or is it just me?
Posted by mmennonno on August 13, 2010 at 9:29 AM · Report this
I do dislike that they called him a "blogger". Yes, he writes for Slog, but he also WRITES for the Stranger, and that is one of his jobs.
Posted by STJA on August 13, 2010 at 9:32 AM · Report this
Andrew Cole 38

Re: male crying. I just finished Crumb's Genesis, and holy cow but Joseph cries a lot. One of the big bad Hebrew patriarchs just cold busts out his weepfactory. I don't know if that proves or disproves M. Chas. Mudede's point, but it sure does happen.
Posted by Andrew Cole on August 13, 2010 at 9:33 AM · Report this
Soupytwist 39
I think Charles is pretty awesome. I always read his posts - he is a very provocative writer and he gives me a lot to think about or he makes me laugh out loud with his wit and audacity.
Posted by Soupytwist on August 13, 2010 at 9:42 AM · Report this
"Are we in Seattle or some really, really dark Edith Wharton novel?"

ah yes, the question I ask myself every day. This gawker post was HILARIOUS. viva mudede!
Posted by slackerina on August 13, 2010 at 9:44 AM · Report this
@30- Exactly.
Posted by mitten on August 13, 2010 at 9:57 AM · Report this
In my normal day to day life, I sometimes hear Mudede's voice in my head. It mostly happens when I see something strange. I am fine with that.
Posted by clint on August 13, 2010 at 10:10 AM · Report this
T 43
"Cutesy raintown Seattle"??? That may be the dumbest fucking phrase I've ever read on the internet. Gawker can eat my poo. @7 ftw!
Posted by T on August 13, 2010 at 10:11 AM · Report this
Where have all the Sloggers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Sloggers gone?
Not so long ago
Where have all the Sloggers gone?
Gone to other blogs every one
When will The Stranger ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Posted by step child on August 13, 2010 at 10:23 AM · Report this
Josh Bomb 45
I luh you chuck and i luh you even moar, lindy.
Posted by Josh Bomb on August 13, 2010 at 10:26 AM · Report this
Did you read the comments on the story? Some of them were pretty good. My favorite was this caption under a picture of horses:

"We'll see whose crying about their money when we ream you out over those missing royalties, Mudede."

Posted by MungoJerry3 on August 13, 2010 at 10:28 AM · Report this
Fenrox 47
The difference between charles and tea party/fred phelps/republican machines/glenn beck is that all the crazy one sided bullshit that he says is done with poetry.

All are saying something that infuriates people, doesn't tell the whole story and doesn't further progress, but Charles isn't shoving it down your throat and doesn't care if you listen, So he is classy and poetic.

All that said he is a douchebag for what he did to the Seattle Central paper like 7 years ago.
Posted by Fenrox on August 13, 2010 at 10:35 AM · Report this
prompt 48
Good lord. He TEACHES?
Posted by prompt on August 13, 2010 at 10:35 AM · Report this
You forgot the one where he mocked a mother's claim that her school-age son's suicide was a result of bullying because he doesn't think it's a big deal, and then steadfastly refused to apologise. It's not too late, Charles.
Posted by Matthew in the UK on August 13, 2010 at 10:37 AM · Report this
seandr 50
I want to root for you guys, Lindy, I really do, but Charles Mudede?

I assume there must be something redeeming about him from the way you all love him at the Stranger, but from here he just seems like a weird hybrid of douche bag and gas bag.
Posted by seandr on August 13, 2010 at 10:49 AM · Report this
@47: Exactly.

He's just trying to make a name for himself by being an asshole. After all, there are plenty of talk radio people doing the same thing.
Posted by been there and back again on August 13, 2010 at 11:06 AM · Report this
Cory 52
If Charles spent more time actually making valid, thoughtful points, maybe I'd have respect for him. This 'he's provocative and brilliantly insane' bullshit doesn't impress me.
Posted by Cory on August 13, 2010 at 11:19 AM · Report this
You also the forgot the one where he claimed his daughter was a victim of racism, never allowed the teacher to respond to the charges, then dropped the whole story and ran as far from his stinking pile of race baiting shit as he could.

If he hates white people so much, why dd he marry one?
Posted by I gots da fever on August 13, 2010 at 11:21 AM · Report this
Mattini 54
Sure, when you put his greatest hits together like this I actually love Charles. These are some hilarious one-liners.
Posted by Mattini on August 13, 2010 at 11:34 AM · Report this
@53: A better question would be, why did she marry him?

If he just wants to bait people for his own amusement, that's one thing, but he has actually hurt some people along the way.
Posted by too lazy to register yet on August 13, 2010 at 11:42 AM · Report this
The comments on Mr. Mudede's posts are way better than the posts themselves. He generates comments and website hits which equates to advertising revenue. Pure capitalism keeps this commie around.
Posted by Reg on August 13, 2010 at 11:56 AM · Report this
Please! More Mudede! He should have a 24 hour hotline. He is frequently the only author worth reading in the Stranger.
Posted by Dr. JohnnyWow on August 13, 2010 at 11:58 AM · Report this
I'm a big Charles fan. I love his writing--especially his features in the stranger. I find his ideas refreshing--even when I don't agree with them. Everybody else can keep on playing it safe.
Posted by Charles is #1 on August 13, 2010 at 11:59 AM · Report this
Irena 59
@1: Yes
Canuck, you have become one of my very favourite commenters. Thank you!

@15: Yep

@32: Exactly this.
Posted by Irena on August 13, 2010 at 12:16 PM · Report this
"...he makes me think more than any other Stranger writer."

Yeah, and Moe was the smartest of the Three Stooges. Ain't exactly high praise.
Posted by bigyaz on August 13, 2010 at 12:38 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 61
if someone chucked a handful of poop at a line of stranger writers Charles would be the last one I would consider diving across the room & taking poo-in-the-face for. Just sayin'
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on August 13, 2010 at 12:58 PM · Report this
@62, Is there any Stranger writer for whom you would take a steamer in the face?
Posted by Reg on August 13, 2010 at 1:17 PM · Report this
@62, you are even more obtuse and confusing than charles mudede
Posted by planned barrenhood on August 13, 2010 at 1:34 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 64
that's a pretty good list Lindy, but any rundown of Charles' greatest misses is soooo very incomplete without this charmer:…
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on August 13, 2010 at 1:50 PM · Report this
@63, Circular reference error. That was for @61. I should hope nobody would be willing to receive a poo in the face to protect a Stranger writer, or most other people for that matter.
Posted by Reg on August 13, 2010 at 2:16 PM · Report this
Andy_Squirrel 66
@63 ok, you want it in plain terms? Charles isn't on my fucking team & never will be
Posted by Andy_Squirrel on August 13, 2010 at 3:50 PM · Report this
I think that Gawker tantrum was one of the biggest gifts to Herrn C. Mudede. (Or burdens, in his mind.)

I've always enjoyed Mudede's strange trails.
Posted by Judith on August 13, 2010 at 5:59 PM · Report this
Canuck 68
@59 I *heart* you too, Irena! (And good to know there is yet another slogger who appreciates any delicious man candy I dredge up from the depths of the internets... :)
Posted by Canuck on August 13, 2010 at 6:54 PM · Report this
TheRain 69
I'm not a Mudede fan, generally, but he's right about the pregnant ladies.
Posted by TheRain on August 13, 2010 at 7:05 PM · Report this
kristinbell 70
He is totally NOT right about pregnant ladies! I mean, geez, the preggers women have bigger boobs! Now I know that a lotsa boyz like them jugs!
Posted by kristinbell on August 13, 2010 at 8:24 PM · Report this
People still read Gawker?
Posted by SeattleNewYorkLondon on August 14, 2010 at 12:31 AM · Report this
elena 72
"Viva Mudede" -- could someone make stickers? I want one!
Posted by elena on August 14, 2010 at 7:18 AM · Report this
Violet_DaGrinder 73

I know, can you imagine?
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder on August 14, 2010 at 8:04 AM · Report this
Greg 74
@70: Damn right.
Posted by Greg on August 14, 2010 at 2:17 PM · Report this
I wouldn't phuck a preggers chick with Mudede's dick.
Posted by Doot on August 14, 2010 at 4:55 PM · Report this
Anne in MA 76
My theory is that Charles Mudede and Will in Seattle are just the same person. Discuss.
Posted by Anne in MA on August 15, 2010 at 7:59 PM · Report this
@69 and @75: Hopefully you won't breed then. Because some pregger women have absolutely phenomenal orgasms and it would be a crime to deny them those orgasms.
Posted by been there and back again on August 16, 2010 at 9:54 AM · Report this
My favorite Charles Mudede posts are the ones where I don't realize it's Mudede at first. Like, there will be an innocuous introduction, then a photo, then it takes a hard left turn into Mudedeville. I don't feel properly Mudede'd if I don't get that moment of "Hey, wait a minute ... MUDEDE!"
Posted by Monty on August 16, 2010 at 10:46 PM · Report this
Andrew Cole 79
@78, I like to think you shake a tiny fist at the heavens at those moments while somewhere, far away, in his secret volcano lair, Chas Mudede rubs his hands together and cackles morosely. I'm not sure how exactly you cackle morosely, but that seems like one of those things they ought to teach you when and if you become a card carrying communist. Or Wobbly. Or whatever. MOROSE CACKLING.
Posted by Andrew Cole on August 17, 2010 at 12:23 AM · Report this

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