You guys, I appreciate the effort here, but this is basically the most innocuous Mudede post of all time. For your outrageification, I present Mudede's greatest hits:

8. The time he compared the town of Enumclaw to an anus:

If we see the volcano, Mt Rainier, as the geological equivalent to the organ that got the horse its name (Big Dick), then we must see the town of Enumclaw as an anus. It is the final point of the urban body.

7. His rules on crying:

Nothing is bad enough, worthy enough for a young (or old) man (and I only speak for men) to cry about.

6. The time he said that pregnant women are unattractive:

Sex with a pregnant women is not right or wrong but dishonest. It’s an act that is close to pity. One does it because one is trying to be nice, and not being honest about how much their partner’s body has changed.

5. Everything to do with dogs:

If a human animal puts his/her asshole directly on the floor of a grocery store, he/she will be arrested.

4. The time he killed a horse:

I returned four days later to find a horrible sight in Dandy's section of the stable.

3. Everything to do with Amanda Knox:

She is a hole that only knows how to be a hole.

2. The time he said that Lawrence Fishburne's daughter became a prostitute because she wants to have sex with her dad:

We can begin to suspect that the daughter wanted sex from the father but was denied—this block meant that she could never be like her mother, a woman who fucked the absolute master.

1. The time when he said that Steven Curtis Chapman's son ran over his sister because she was Chinese:

The other Chinese girls in this wholesome family better keep on eye on their American “brother.”

Also, you guys totally skewered Seattle with your awesome rain jokes (except you forgot coffee! And flannel! And Bill Gates—what a nerd!), but what's a "waterbrain"? Is that a hydrocephalus reference? Is hydrocephalus caused by a rainy climate? Is disdain for the middle class a symptom of hydrocephalus? I'm not following. But as for your speculation that Mudede "is either doing some elaborate satire" that you don't get, or he's "some sort of weird hybrid of Marie Antoinette and a class-destructing communist." Yes. Yes on both counts. Congratulations.