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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"Satan Can Write!"

Posted by on Tue, Aug 10, 2010 at 1:03 PM

Slog tipper Josh alerted us to the fact that Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll recently spoke out on Twilight. It turns out that Amazon is sending kids to Twilight-esque books about werewolves, vampires, and "weird relationships." Driscoll hates these kind of books because they're about dark things like Mormonism. He really tears into Mormonism at the end of this one, making the obvious joke about the Angel Moroni:

Driscoll clearly has difficulty with the "discernment" (one of his favorite words) between truth and fiction. A book called Hell's Heroes almost causes him to have a stroke onstage. My favorite part: "You know what? Dead people don't talk to you! Demons pretend to be dead people!" That's a Certified Mark Driscoll Fact™!

(Driscoll also says he's about to publish his daughter's blog posts, which feature "critical book reviews." We'll request a review copy.)

 

Comments (28) RSS

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Canadian Nurse 1
That was actually semi-coherent for a fundangelical. You should hear evangelicals tying themselves into knots explaining how Harry Potter is evil, because it contains wizards, but The Lord of the Rings is good, because it was written by a Christian, so therefore its wizards are exempt from the "wizards are evil" rule. Or how Buffy was bad because even though she killed vampires, anything about vampires is dark and evil. Even killing vampires is wrong, because vampires are so evil that anything they touch becomes evil, too. Or something.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on August 10, 2010 at 1:24 PM
TacomaRoma 2
Driscoll used to write editorials for the The Daily Evergreen when he was at WSU. You should read some of that stuff, along with the responses from the students. Fun!
Posted by TacomaRoma on August 10, 2010 at 1:27 PM
balderdash 3
"You know what? Dead people don't talk to you!"

Took the words right out of my mouth. Wait, what? We weren't talking about Jesus?
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on August 10, 2010 at 1:44 PM
mr. herriman 4
you're under a spell if you don't know what a spell is. a spell is when a witch puts a spell on you!
Posted by mr. herriman on August 10, 2010 at 1:46 PM
ObeyTheFist 5
It's almost like he believes there are demons, witches, vampires, spells, and magic that really exist in the world as an analogue to the fictional ones in these books. Like we need to protect our kids from reading this stuff lest they happen upon one of them in real life and are unprepared.

"I reject your fictional narrative and substitute my own!"
Posted by ObeyTheFist on August 10, 2010 at 1:51 PM
Ubiquita 6
Let's see if I understand: He comdemns fiction that contains 'evil' characters that are given redemptive storylines. Therefore any 'evil' character that takes a shot at being good is no good anyway. However, he endorses original sin (by referring to the 'deception of Eve'), which, by definition, allows humans (if they believe in this version of Christianity) to be redeemed by their own free will. So, any human, who is 'evil' by the definition of original sin has no shot at redemption. Screw the fictional vampires, this guy needs some logic.
Posted by Ubiquita on August 10, 2010 at 2:08 PM
Canadian Nurse 7
It's not almost, ObeyTheFist. I grew up in these circles. People in the church I came from definitely believed in demons, witches, spells and magic. Vampires were real people who bit people but would be surprised when they realised that "their Lord Satan" didn't actually grant them eternal life. Psychics, astrologers etc. were viewed as people with real power, just their power came from Satan rather than God.

The fear was that if kids thought highly of any of these evildoers, they might be tempted to leave Jesus for witchcraft or astrology or something.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on August 10, 2010 at 2:10 PM
Cato the Younger Younger 8
Driscoll looks like some chub guy who keeps hitting on me at Madison Pub and the Cuff. The guy is really creepy and can't take no for an answer.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on August 10, 2010 at 2:25 PM
Lola, Now in Iowa City 9
I do have to say, this is the only time I haven't had a complete hate response to Driscoll. Maybe it's because he's not gay bashing this time around.
Posted by Lola, Now in Iowa City on August 10, 2010 at 2:30 PM
FreudianShrimp 10
@3, Puhleeze, Jesus is one of the undead, the ultimate zombie. So it's cool to chat with him.
Posted by FreudianShrimp on August 10, 2010 at 2:46 PM
switzerblog 11
He's wrong. If he loves you, he'll *definitely* bite you.
Posted by switzerblog on August 10, 2010 at 2:46 PM
12
Well, I have to agree with his criticism of those books, but not for his reasons. I just totally don't get the whole vampire thing, especially the books and movies and TV shows that cast vampires as romantic figures.
Posted by Sheryl on August 10, 2010 at 2:58 PM
leek 13
It appalls me to think of this man guiding a 13-year-old girl to adulthood.
Posted by leek on August 10, 2010 at 3:09 PM
Beetlecat 14
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/magazi…

Which "rough" neighborhood is he from?
Posted by Beetlecat on August 10, 2010 at 3:22 PM
15
Discernment...

I do not think that word means what you think it means.
Posted by slackerina on August 10, 2010 at 3:41 PM
johnyawl 16
I would rather stab my eyes out then listen to Driscoll for 10 minutes.
Posted by johnyawl on August 10, 2010 at 4:12 PM
17
So how much does he owe Tony Kushner for that moron joke?
Posted by annesmith on August 10, 2010 at 4:46 PM
18
OMG! Another fundamentalist Christian fuckwit. I'd rather have a prostate exam preformed by Edward Scissorhands than have to listen to this dribble.
Posted by Zhock on August 10, 2010 at 5:54 PM
19
When do we get to officially classify the Mars Hill Church as a hate group?
Posted by Angry Sam on August 10, 2010 at 6:28 PM
20
If Satan is responsible for the Twilight books, he can't write at all.
Posted by Sympathy for Deviled Eggs on August 10, 2010 at 6:32 PM
TheMisanthrope 21
I am in LOVE with his rants.

He really likes encompassing popular culture, especially fiction, in his rants, seemingly blissfully unaware that he is constantly falling into the stereotypical cliches of all fundies. At least he didn't want to ban anything. His rants ALWAYS prove that he never actually consumes anything he criticizes...or if he does, he makes up his own understanding of the object.

He needs his own show...annotated. Sort of like what Schmader does with Showgirls. I wonder if that would be popular...
Posted by TheMisanthrope on August 10, 2010 at 7:15 PM
Cory 22
This guy's about as square as I remember my mom was when I was a kid. 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark?', 'The Simpson', 'Goosebumps', and 'Memoirs of a Geisha' were the big, scary Satan-worshipping titles she didn't want me looking at while her back was turned.

Yeah, your condescending tone didn't work so well, Ma.
<----
Posted by Cory on August 10, 2010 at 7:53 PM
KingofQueenAnne 23
I really, honestly, truly do hate when I have to defend Mormonism, but I'd rather return to my LDS roots 1,000 times over than ever, EVER, having to bear being in the same room as that Mars Hill asshole.

Full disclosure: I've had a few glasses of wine.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on August 10, 2010 at 10:34 PM
KingofQueenAnne 24
Oh and he's a dumbass fatty who dresses like us gayz did seven years ago.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on August 10, 2010 at 10:36 PM
KingofQueenAnne 25
Mormonism was started by a demon? Who the fuck even started Mars Hill's bullshit? Oh my god why am I even defending Mormons? Goddamn it I'm so pissed.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on August 10, 2010 at 10:42 PM
Joe from Oz 26
I'd still hit it.
Posted by Joe from Oz on August 10, 2010 at 10:47 PM
KingofQueenAnne 27
His church is a hellhole where women are second-class citizens and where religion goes to die.
Posted by KingofQueenAnne http://blingeejesus.blogspot.com on August 10, 2010 at 10:53 PM
pissy mcslogbot 28
I think he would fit right in with the Fellowship of the Sun people, perhaps get some of that Light Of Day Institute training...
http://www.fellowshipofthesun.org/
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on August 10, 2010 at 11:26 PM

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