My boyfriend and I are in our 30s, have been together for a year and 9 months, and have lived together for 7 months. We're monogamous. Our relationship is really fantastic emotionally and sexually. Actually, IMO, we could have more sex, but I'm thinking between 2 and 4 times a week, sometimes more, is pretty good, and I have a raging libido that won't quit so I try to be understanding when he says he just wants to cuddle. He's one of those sensitive, emotional, "relationship" guys.

Here's my issue: one of his problems with his last GF was that she put on some weight. It wasn't what broke them up, but it's been mentioned. I used to be overweight, but I work out a lot and am now fit if still curvy (D boobs, a tinge of jiggle but mostly muscular). My boyfriend loves big boobs. He's never had any complaints about mine, and he's told me in the past that I should make sure that my ass always jiggles a little. Still, he'll say he doesn't ever want me to get "fat." Nothing he says to me makes me uncomfortable, and he tells me I'm hot and he loves my body.

While looking on his computer, I discovered that he looks at "chubby chaser" porn. Big ladies. Not necessarily BBW big. Just pretty plump with the accompanying giant-but-natural boobs. If you know anything about women's clothing sizes, I'd say these ladies are sizes 14-18. I'm about a size 10—not small, but curvy and very fit/muscular. Now I'm confused! Why does he want his girlfriend to be relatively fit (but not too thin—he's told me I was getting too thin before, and I happily gained a little weight) but looks at porn featuring women who look all gushy and jiggly and large? Is it just because those ladies also come with bigger-but-natural boobs? It makes me wonder if I'm attractive to him in all my fitness because this not-too-fat BBW porn is pretty much exclusively what he looks at. I know what you're going to say—talk to him about it. But I think it would embarrass him, so anything you might tell me that might help would be greatly appreciated.

It should be mentioned that I do not have a problem with porn in general, and I watch porn myself. My two favorite kinds are "fuck my wife" porn and "multiple guys, one chick porn," and these are not things I'm interested in exploring IRL. Should I just take him at his word that he's attracted to me? Or should his taste alarm me because it doesn't look exactly like me?

Wants Him Chasing Me With His Chubby

My response after the jump...

Only one person has the answers to the questions you're posing, WHCMWHC, but you've ruled out asking the boyfriend about it. So we can only speculate.

And, for the record, your hunch—he likes big, natural boobs, and BBW-lite porn delivers 'em—seems pretty reasonable to me. It's possible, of course, that your boyfriend could be one of those guys who are into bigger women but too wracked with shame and/or guilt to date the kind of big girls he's into. But into-BBWs-but-ashamed types usually date rail-thin women, the kinds of girls they're "supposed to" find hot, and beat off to porn that features really-BBW-big women, not just the pretty and plump and stacked.

If his actions prove that he's attracted to you, if he's chasing you, and if you're not willing to broach this subject with him, then you're just gonna have to "yes" for an answer, WHCMWHC, and stop digging through his web-browser histories.