Friday:

If you're still searching for something to do tonight, why not head over to Urban Impact in Rainier Beach for The Jump Off, a benefit concert featuring Mic Day, MaRyann, and many more to support opportunities for the area's youth. (Urban Impact, 7728 Rainier Avenue S, 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., doors at 6:30 p.m., $5.)

Saturday:

What's more American than pie? BEING THE GREATEST NATION IN THE WORLD, THAT'S WHAT. And how better to celebrate both pie and American independence (but no one else's!) than eating pie at Cal Anderson Park on Independence Day Eve? The park is hosting an Independence Day Community Picnic that boasts both a pie eating contest and a free (root)beer garden. USA! USA! USA! Free cotton candy bailouts for all! (Cal Anderson Park, 1635 11th Avenue S, noon to 5:00 p.m., free.)

Alternately, if you happen to be in or around Bremerton with nothing to do (and why wouldn't you be?), please for the love of God go to the North American Beard and Moustache Championship. Champions of the Moustache, the Partial Beard, and the Full Beard will be crowned, buffet lunch will be served, and all proceeds go to the Veteran's Home and Homeless Shelter in Retsil, WA. (Bremerton Elks Lodge, 4131 Pine Road, Competitors arrive by 10:00 a.m. to brush and fluff their moustaches; spectators by noon for lunch; $40 competitors, $20 spectators.)

Sunday

There is only one thing you should be doing today, and that is celebrating the troubled bullying great!!!!! nation that allows you to read and comment on blogs like this. Personal fireworks are illegal in Seattle, so here's how you should celebrate: catch The Family Fourth on Lake Union, your best bet for large-scale explosions. Watch the festivities from the official spot at Gas Works Park, which will feature kite-making, a giant inflatable slide, AND a (real) beer garden. Or watch the fireworks most anywhere with a good view of the lake. (Gas Works Park, 2101 N Northlake Way, park opens at noon, fireworks at 10:00 p.m., free!)

If, on the other hand, you and your communo-fascist, freedom-hating self can't stomach ANY MORE red, white, and blue, consider The Seconds Sale with Avalon Glassworks. The sale of extra, sample, and odd versions of their excellent art promises to be an exciting adventure. (Avalon Glassworks Parking Lot, 2914 SW Avalon Way, 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., admission is free, glass presumably is not.)