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Monday, June 28, 2010

Religion Excommunicate Me: The End?

Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Jun 28, 2010 at 12:23 PM

A few months ago, I tried to get excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Apparently, by asking to be excommunicated, I excommunicated myself. I was informed by a nun named Sister Rita Mae Bissonnette that if I sent a letter to her directly stating my wishes, she could send a letter to the priest at the church where I was born telling him to put a note on my permanent Catholic record that I don't consider myself a Catholic anymore. That letter (click to enlarge) finally came last week, while I was on vacation:

I think this is the end of it, as far as the Catholic Church is concerned. This letter—a perfectly Catholic exercise in wishy-washy passive aggressiveness—is as far as they're willing to go. I "don't consider[ myself] a Roman Catholic," which means the church still considers me a Catholic, albeit one who has fallen in his faith, but at least they are at least institutionally acknowledging my protest. It's not as satisfying a conclusion to this whole experience as I would've hoped, but I'm still getting this fucking letter framed.

Comments (19) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Yes, dear.

Posted by gloomy gus on June 28, 2010 at 12:36 PM

Congrats!

Now you'll have to ignore all the people from the other cult religions trying to convert you ...

Have you ever considered Pastafarianism?

Posted by Will in Seattle

on June 28, 2010 at 12:37 PM

So is your pigeon-hole now "ex-catholic"? you beliefs must be prescisely categorized, Sir.

A chewy wad of peace,
(Rb) High Priest, Church of the Good Lunch, MOS

/cc:god

Posted by theophrastus on June 28, 2010 at 12:37 PM

It just irks me that anyone who, as an infant, had some mumbo-jumbo said over them, and was turned into a member of some religious sect. I was not freely admitted into any such church nor did I join. But somehow these religionists consider me a member? Nonsense!

Posted by Vince on June 28, 2010 at 12:44 PM

@2: Yeah, or the Church of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. But Pastafarianism is awesome!

Posted by venomlash on June 28, 2010 at 12:51 PM

vince, this is why i respect the amish. they set the kids loose to run amok in the heathen world, and they must make an informed decision, after cavorting in the devil's playground, to return to the amish way of life or not.

Posted by ellarosa on June 28, 2010 at 12:51 PM

@6 It's not much of a decision though. If you decide not to join the cult, you lose all ties to your family. Sucks either way.

Posted by Old Mama Chips on June 28, 2010 at 1:05 PM

I love the nuns. They get shit done.

I was raised Quaker, and no one (at least in the tradition in which I was raised) is a member until they reach adulthood and ask their Meeting for membership. Then you get a Clearness Committee, they ask you questions, and then I guess you're in...I never requested membership, or I'd know more about the process, but I've always appreciated that it was my decision to make, not my parents', not the Meeting's.

Posted by Trinabeana

on June 28, 2010 at 1:06 PM

you are a fabulous human being, paul.

Posted by Adrian Ryan on June 28, 2010 at 1:28 PM

But, wait, isn't anyone going to shun you or refuse you salt or anything like that? Man, what a gyp.

Posted by Geni on June 28, 2010 at 1:33 PM

Now you just need the t-shirt:

http://www.cafepress.com/cowhidemanstore…

"I am an Ex-Catholic. In an emergency, get me an ex-Priest."

Posted by Lymis on June 28, 2010 at 1:47 PM

Grats, Paul!

Posted by OuterCow on June 28, 2010 at 1:58 PM

@ 4, there's more to it than that. You also have to start taking communion at age 6, then receive confirmation at age 13. While that might still be done somewhat without your consent (basically mom and dad make you do these things, especially confirmation), you're much more of a willing participant.

Posted by Matt from Denver on June 28, 2010 at 2:34 PM

Have you tried Freemasonry? I think that the Pope is still excommunicating Freemasons.

Posted by Mrs Jarvie on June 28, 2010 at 2:44 PM

@13 I would never have disobeyed a direct order in that army!

Posted by Vince on June 28, 2010 at 2:58 PM

@15: too true. At age 6 I would have eaten the horns off a billy-goat if mom & dad told me I would get out of dying by doing so. By 13 I knew it was all BS and tried to avoid confirmation, but succumbed to the hectoring of the nuns. 4 years of catholic high school later and I never had to see the inside of a church again (apart from the obligatory weddings/funerals).

Posted by emma's bee on June 28, 2010 at 4:03 PM