Remember that giant Jesus statue at the church in Monroe, Ohio, that got hit by lightning and destroyed?

The church has vowed to rebuild—and in one of their ever-more-bizarre publicity stunts, PETA has offered to pay for it, if giant Jesus is willing to bear PETA's inscribed message “Blessed Are the Merciful. Go Vegan.” Oh, they also want him to carry a giant lamb for eternity (or until the next lightning strike). Hasn't Jesus suffered enough without having to lug an enormous woolly bleater through those hot Ohio summers? Also, Jesus was demonstrably not a vegan. What with his distribution of all those loaves and fishes, PETA would not have been on the right side of the whole crucifixion thing.

Anyhow, according to the Hamilton, Ohio, News Journal, the good Revs. Lawrence and Darlene Bishop of Solid Rock Church (excellent names all around, there) said they appreciated the gesture, but declined.

“We’re not interested. We raise cattle. We [would] never build a statue with stipulations that we would have to advertise for PETA,” the Rev. Mrs. Bishop said.