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News & ArtsWednesday, June 16, 2010
??!! The Best Sentence I Have Read All Year
Posted by Brendan Kiley on Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 3:54 PM
A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.
From the good folks at the BBC.
4
fingers crossed that puppy-hurling doesn't become the next big thing amongst impressionable teenagers.
5
I'm shocked that they couldn't catch up to the dozer.
Even in gear, those things don't move fast, even the mid-range ones, unless it was a dozer sans blade.
At least the ones I've operated.
Even in gear, those things don't move fast, even the mid-range ones, unless it was a dozer sans blade.
At least the ones I've operated.
6
Oh...my sides hurt, and my co-workers are looking at me funny.
I now know what to do next time I see a motorcycle gang.
I now know what to do next time I see a motorcycle gang.
7
@5, I guess they didn't give chase, since he caused a traffic jam during his getaway because the dozer was going so slow...
10
Quick, somebody submit it to the Bulwer-Lytton contest:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
No, wait, that's a fiction contest.
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
No, wait, that's a fiction contest.
12
I want to know if this was a planned one-two of incidence. Like, Moon-turn-throw puppy-run. Or was like more Moon-Run-OMGTHEY'RECHASINGMELETSSLOWTHEMDOWNBYTHROWINGPUPPYATTHEM?
14
Could have been worse.
He could have mooned the puppy and then thrown a biker at the dozer, before strolling away more quickly.
He could have mooned the puppy and then thrown a biker at the dozer, before strolling away more quickly.
15
You'd never get away with that as the opening sentence of a novel, even The Bulwer-Lytton contest.
Ain't reality great?
That sentence has doomed fiction for all eternity, nothing you could dream up would come close.
Ain't reality great?
That sentence has doomed fiction for all eternity, nothing you could dream up would come close.
17
Google Image Searched the following: "hells angels puppy bulldozer germany" (no quotes) and got a very amusing spread. http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&sourc…
18
Oh man Brendan!!! I sent that to a bunch of people at the office yesterday I was laughing so hard. OMG. Loved seeing it again on slog!!
21
Some friends and i were discussing how if this were in a movie, what would the sound track be...i decided it most closely resembled an episode of "Sir Digby Chicken Caesar" from Mitchell and Webb...complete with him singing his own theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QACSo5xk3…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QACSo5xk3…
24
i can do that. 1st learn to steal a dozer 2nd learn to drive one 3rd wait till there is full moon 4th paint dozer black 5th learn to paint a cougar black 6th throw the cougar and run like hell ! " forgot" 51/2 put dozer in gear and then go to 6
25
Now listen here fellas, a puppy is a little finger which implies that their motor bikes are merely compensation for their small dicks. A bull-dozer may not outrun some small dicked bikie, but it sure can pirouette them into heaps of smoking leather.
26
I swear to God i thought the same thing after reading it on BBC or some such site.Talk about coincidences.
27
A (nationality) student (verb)-ed a group of (noun- plural) and hurled a (noun) at them before escaping on a stolen (vehicle), police have said.
30
Bravo! I am crying with joy here.
Better than cow tipping , or doing lines by yourself while alternately watching porn and Monthy Python.
Yet another hurdle crossed in the continuing refinement of German culture, and , for that matter, of Homo Sapiens . The man should be knighted.
And the way it is described- sheer poetry. I awe at the immense emotions caused in spite of the sparsity of words describing this mind-altering event. Such journalism. Oh brave new world, that has such things in it!
Alas, Shakespearean rhyme is not enough for this world-changing event. Give me a moment to compose myself and I will create a epic in the style of Homerus, an epic in which I shall laud the man who ventured to Moon the Angels, to surpass the brave Ulysses..All of this in pentameters of course.
Better than cow tipping , or doing lines by yourself while alternately watching porn and Monthy Python.
Yet another hurdle crossed in the continuing refinement of German culture, and , for that matter, of Homo Sapiens . The man should be knighted.
And the way it is described- sheer poetry. I awe at the immense emotions caused in spite of the sparsity of words describing this mind-altering event. Such journalism. Oh brave new world, that has such things in it!
Alas, Shakespearean rhyme is not enough for this world-changing event. Give me a moment to compose myself and I will create a epic in the style of Homerus, an epic in which I shall laud the man who ventured to Moon the Angels, to surpass the brave Ulysses..All of this in pentameters of course.
34
Who throws puppies! Why not a rock? How did this man come too have a puppy and a bulldozer in the same location as a pack of H A? did he sneek up on them or viceversa? They couldn't have got him out of the dozer if he knew wht he was doing with it, but still very lucky they forgot about guns.
38
OMG did the bikers catch him (on a dozer) lol
Moon-turn-puppy-RUN-don't get caught by police!!
LOL
Moon-turn-puppy-RUN-don't get caught by police!!
LOL
39
Here are some more details from a Bavarian newspaper:
He drove there in his own car, parked, mooned them, threw the puppy(which was his own) and set off by foot heading for a highway building site. There he entered a wheeled bulldozer and drove onto the Autobahn. He caused a 5km long traffic jam because he couldnīt operate the gearshift. After a few kilometers he stopped a truck, and hitchhiked some more kilometers to his home, where the police later arrested him and brought him to a mental hospital. He had ceased tp take his pills, what led to this outburst of awesome!
Here is the link to the original article:
http://www.merkur-online.de/lokales/land…
He drove there in his own car, parked, mooned them, threw the puppy(which was his own) and set off by foot heading for a highway building site. There he entered a wheeled bulldozer and drove onto the Autobahn. He caused a 5km long traffic jam because he couldnīt operate the gearshift. After a few kilometers he stopped a truck, and hitchhiked some more kilometers to his home, where the police later arrested him and brought him to a mental hospital. He had ceased tp take his pills, what led to this outburst of awesome!
Here is the link to the original article:
http://www.merkur-online.de/lokales/land…
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