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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Chow / Celeb / Science / Drunk Lindsay Lohan and the Lessons of SCRAM

Posted by David Schmader on Thu, Jun 10, 2010 at 9:24 AM

scaled.0723_lindsay_lohan_scram_startraks.jpg

That thing around Ms. Lohan's ankle is a Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor, which works by measuring alcohol content in the wearer's perspiration. As you may have heard, Lohan's SCRAM anklet went off during a post-MTV Awards party on Sunday, instigating a new li'l shitstorm of revoked-then-repaid bail and dramatic protestations from the Camp Lohan, which blames the SCRAM alert on someone spilling a drink on Lindsay's leg.

Whatever the case, the most interesting part of this story is the collected lore regarding would-be SCRAM tampering, provided by ABC News:

Vickers Cunningham, retired Texas District Court Judge and chief operating officer of Recovery Healthcare Corporation, a major SCRAM distributor, said that some offenders have attempted innovative strategies to bluff the booze detector. Novices place cellophane or foil between the skin and the sensor. "The more creative people have tried to simulate human skin by using baloney or salami or ham," he said. One even stuck chicken skin to his ankle.

The photo above is impressive. But imagine how much more impressive it would be with a big wad of ham crammed between the bikinied starlet's leg and anklet.

Comments (11) RSS

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how does she get tight jeans on?

Posted by balmonter on June 10, 2010 at 9:31 AM

I can't decide who is the more entertaining fuck up: Lindsay Lohan or Sarah Palin. I wish there was a television channel that just showed a split screen of cameras following the two of them around 24/7.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 10, 2010 at 9:34 AM

did you see the outfit she wore to the MTV awards? it was a giant sequined pantsuit. nice try, crazy mom/daughter combo.

Posted by rara avis on June 10, 2010 at 9:40 AM

I can't believe I just got envious of anyone young enough that ham would simulate their skin. My ankles are so gross only salami might fool the machine.

Posted by gloomy gus on June 10, 2010 at 9:44 AM

I guess if your career involves nothing more than attending parties, you run that risk. But yes, ham would be awesome.

I assume a friendly butcher could keep you supplied with little squares of pigskin too.

Posted by Fnarf

on June 10, 2010 at 9:56 AM

@2: I'd buy a television and watch that channel 24/7.

Posted by TVDinner

on June 10, 2010 at 10:21 AM

This invites so many plays on words:

'Scram-hamming'/'Ham-Scramming',
or the cooler, more simple catch-all.. 'Scrammin'
'Scrampering' could be for all things Scram-tampering,
or even 'Pulling an SHC' (A Scram Ham Cram)

Maybe Dan can help establish the new lingo here?

Posted by azazel on June 10, 2010 at 10:38 AM