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News & ArtsWednesday, June 9, 2010
Film Got To The Greek
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Jun 9, 2010 at 1:04 PM
So I saw Get Him to the Greek last night—at Lindy's suggestion—and I liked it. It was funny, totally worth the $11, but...
1. It's nearly impossible to jam a floppy jelly dildo up the ass of an unwilling "victim"—particularly when that victim is on his back, outweighs his "rapist" by at least 150 pounds, and isn't restrained. I'm concerned that straight teenage boys are going to see Greek and leave with the impression that a dildo can go from brandished to embedded in two seconds flat. If they weren't terrified of buttsex before Get Him to the Greek, they're going to be terrified after. None of them will ever sleep on their stomachs again.
2. Get Him to the Greek spends an awful lot time rooting around in Jonah Hill's anal cavity. These assaults are important points of his character's journey, and he's a better man after, and I suppose there's a positive message in there about buttplay in there somewhere—it won't kill you, it won't make you gay—but... Get Him to the Greek spends an awful lot of time rooting around in Jonah Hill's anal cavity.
3. The film is supposed to be edgy and daring. And it is... about drug use. (Heroin is portrayed as very nearly benign.) But the filmmakers were careful to toe Hollywood's boring, reflexive, sex-negative line when it comes to threeways. In mainstream films threeways are always disasters. Without fail cinematic threeways are initiated for the wrong reasons (revenge in Greek's case), someone's feelings are inevitably hurt during (Hill's), and all involved are filled with self-loathing and regret after (quick—burn the sheets, pillowcases, and mattress!). Has no one in Hollywood ever had or heard of a successful threeway?
4. Best portrayal of cunnilingus in a mainstream film since Bruce Willis ate pussy in Pulp Fiction. But you would think a daring, edgy film could risk showing a man eating pussy without a blanket pulled over his head.
1
Um.
You weren't the target audience, Dan.
It's mostly aimed at young men who are still in the giggle and embarrassed phase about sex, drugs, and whether or not they're manly enough or straight.
Glad you like it, though.
You weren't the target audience, Dan.
It's mostly aimed at young men who are still in the giggle and embarrassed phase about sex, drugs, and whether or not they're manly enough or straight.
Glad you like it, though.
2
Re #4: Right? 1. It eliminates potential for sexy eye contact and 2. It gets really fucking sweaty down there.
3
Dan, in regards to the cunnilingus, I recommend you watch the documentary 'This Film is not yet Rated'. It gives us the perspective of the filmmakers when it comes to the ineptitude of the MPAA and how they rate movies. The filmmakers would probably put a lot more adult content into the films if they didn't fear that it would create distribution suicide.
Check it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493459/
Check it: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493459/
4
It's included in the doc mentioned by 3, but I must give it a shout-out here: Boys Don't Cry has the best cunnilingus scene in cinema history.
5
Butt sex, with the man on bottom, is a point of neverending hilarity for straight dudes. zzzzz....
In other news, I can't believe you spent a few hours of your life on such shite.
In other news, I can't believe you spent a few hours of your life on such shite.
7
"Best portrayal of cunnilingus in a mainstream film since Bruce Willis ate pussy in Pulp Fiction. But you would think a daring, edgy film could risk showing a man eating pussy without a blanket pulled over his head."
How was it portrayed in American Pie? I forget....
How was it portrayed in American Pie? I forget....
8
I thought they were refreshingly non-gay-panicky about all the butt stuff. Although it was ridiculous when that girl shoved that dry, squishy dildo into Jonah Hill's clenched rear.
My only real red flag moment in the movie was when Russell Brand says to that soon-to-be-rapist girl, "You, girl, go have sex with him." That one gave me a stomach ache.
I have nothing to say about threeways.
My only real red flag moment in the movie was when Russell Brand says to that soon-to-be-rapist girl, "You, girl, go have sex with him." That one gave me a stomach ache.
I have nothing to say about threeways.
9
The idea of having sex with Jonah Hill is repellent enough to quash my sex drive. But then, as Dan says, I'm not the targeted demographic.
10
In accordance with #3:
The lack of truly explicit cunnilingus might be a ratings issue, Dan. I've seen several NC-17 films. I don't go to movies because of a newspaper or a TV ad (well, not usually). I can't imagine that an NC-17 rating would have that big of an impact, but apparently I'm very wrong in that regard.
The difference between an R and an NC-17 can mean several millions in box office receipts. Go figure.
As you probably know, NC-17 was created because the X rating was co-opted by the porn industry. In fact, any film not submitted to the MPAA for screening received - at one time - a self-imposed X. In theory, Bambi could have been an X.
Jack Valenti said there was a need for a rating specifically for films having artistic merit but designed for adult audiences only. It's been an utter failure, and an NC-17 gets the same stigma that an X-rated film gets.
The MPAA, by the way, is way more tight-assed about scenes of gay sex than they are scenes of heterosexual coupling. And as in that wonderful doc #3 mentions, you can't eat someone out, but you can ram a knife up their snatch. "That shit," as Kevin Smith says, "skates."
The lack of truly explicit cunnilingus might be a ratings issue, Dan. I've seen several NC-17 films. I don't go to movies because of a newspaper or a TV ad (well, not usually). I can't imagine that an NC-17 rating would have that big of an impact, but apparently I'm very wrong in that regard.
The difference between an R and an NC-17 can mean several millions in box office receipts. Go figure.
As you probably know, NC-17 was created because the X rating was co-opted by the porn industry. In fact, any film not submitted to the MPAA for screening received - at one time - a self-imposed X. In theory, Bambi could have been an X.
Jack Valenti said there was a need for a rating specifically for films having artistic merit but designed for adult audiences only. It's been an utter failure, and an NC-17 gets the same stigma that an X-rated film gets.
The MPAA, by the way, is way more tight-assed about scenes of gay sex than they are scenes of heterosexual coupling. And as in that wonderful doc #3 mentions, you can't eat someone out, but you can ram a knife up their snatch. "That shit," as Kevin Smith says, "skates."
12
I do agree with @2 tho - that was the part of the film that I was going "why the hell does he have a blanket on his head".
@7 - I think they showed his head going down but off screen and then it's all focused on her until she comes.
@7 - I think they showed his head going down but off screen and then it's all focused on her until she comes.
13
@11 - apparently the movies we watch on many standard and cable channels are cut so they don't include those scenes. I've noticed IFC and Sundance don't cut them, but the lower bands on cable do cut them.
14
Max, he was given the choice to eat out John Travolta or throw his boxing match with Marcellus Wallace. It was just after Mr Wolf sodomized Eric Stoltz with a samurai sword. My memory is clear on this.
18
I don't have hard stats or poll numbers or anything, but I think that unsuccessful 3ways far outnumber successful ones. People are a jealous species for the most part and certain thoughts arise unbidden when faced with anything that could be construed as competition. "Does he/she like her/him more than me? Does that feel better than when I do it? Is he/she paying more attention to her/him than to me? What if they share a connection we don't share?" Now, people of course can try to prevent these thoughts with open and frank conversation, and can try to deny or squash them when they come up. But seeing someone you love with another is a hard thing to do, and it very often turns out badly. It shouldn't, but it often does. I think it's a bit naive to assume that the odds of a successful 3way are 50%. Pessimism leads less often to disappointment.
19
Surely the film was just illustrating the dangers of a three-way undertaken out of spite, rather than writing off three-ways altogether.
22
As fucking hot as I find Russell Brand, I think I'll wait until it hits Redbox or the discount bin at Walmart.
23
I'm sorry, the best (straight) pussy-eating scene in a movie since Pulp Fiction is when Simon Baker goes down on Carla Gugino in Judas Kiss.
25
Best portrayal of cunnilingus in a mainstream film since Bruce Willis ate pussy in Pulp Fiction... is in A History of Violence.
26
@18 that's because straight chicks have no business having threeways if they don't like chicks. They're considered triangles for a reason - each side must touch or else its just unstable.
Seriously, I'm soo sick of having a threeway with a girl who claims she's bi but I end up spending an hour eating her out and finally when my cramped numb mouth gives out I am rewarded to a freaked out chick because the bf helped me out since she wouldn't touch me. - Well look bitch don't get pissed at me because you lied to yourself and ruined a perfectly good relationship by telling your bf that you're bi when you're not. It's not my fault that you're an idiot and a liar.
All my other threesomes were great - and we often repeat them.
Seriously, I'm soo sick of having a threeway with a girl who claims she's bi but I end up spending an hour eating her out and finally when my cramped numb mouth gives out I am rewarded to a freaked out chick because the bf helped me out since she wouldn't touch me. - Well look bitch don't get pissed at me because you lied to yourself and ruined a perfectly good relationship by telling your bf that you're bi when you're not. It's not my fault that you're an idiot and a liar.
All my other threesomes were great - and we often repeat them.
27
@21 Bruce Willis IS the reason Pulp Fiction is 4star instead of 5 star, imho. I can't fucking stand some of those scenes he's in....when he's silent-- okay...and his interactions with his french gf are good, but the bar scenes? meh...
Someday people will recalculate and see that Bruce Willis is just a Van Damme with a better "look"
Someday people will recalculate and see that Bruce Willis is just a Van Damme with a better "look"
29
I've always wished that Holden, Banky, and Alyssa had gone through with the threeway as suggested by Banky in Chasing Amy. Would have made a great movie even better.
30
Anecdote: my friends saw a History of Violence in an L.A. movie theater. The same people that were perfectly fine sitting through the implied murder of a little girl got up and left when the movie implied cunnilingus between a married het couple.
31
@29 as suggested by *Holden* (Affleck). Banky (Lee) was reluctant.
I'm sure there's SOME independent film out there about a successful threeway.
I'm sure there's SOME independent film out there about a successful threeway.
35
This movie wasn't as funny as I thought it would be based on all the rave reviews. It actually turned into kind of a drag what with Brand's character being all fucked up on heroin for most of it -- I just didn't see as much comedic value in that as others did, I guess. Also, Lindy West calling Sean Combs a "comedy giant"? Yeah, P. Diddy is a regular Richard Pryor.
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