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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Cats Are Not Dogs

Posted by on Sat, Jun 5, 2010 at 7:37 AM

On the Ave...

_UNSET_-2.jpg
A leash on a cat is an attack on its essence. A cat is not a cat if it's on a leash. A dog is still a dog if it is on a leash. That is the order of things.

 

Comments (61) RSS

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SurlyYurmom 1
This post should really be titled: "Sidewalks aren't Cats"
Posted by SurlyYurmom on June 5, 2010 at 7:57 AM
2
Charles must be moonlighting as host for Brian Fellow's Safari Planet.
Posted by that goat has devil eyes! on June 5, 2010 at 7:58 AM
Purocuyu 3
Let's not forget that a horse is a horse (of course, of course) either.
Posted by Purocuyu http://littlevictorygarden.tumblr.com on June 5, 2010 at 8:06 AM
4
The cat in this video is on a leash and has not lost one bit of its full cat essense. You are wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KFUImd6z…
Posted by wl on June 5, 2010 at 8:06 AM
Purocuyu 5
Let's not forget that a horse is a horse (of course, of course) either.
Posted by Purocuyu http://littlevictorygarden.tumblr.com on June 5, 2010 at 8:07 AM
sepiolida 6
Excellent framing Charles! Were you drunk?

That cat is a cat. Lots of people bring their extremely well trained cats around Seattle. It wouldn't work with my cats, b ut a cat that starts learning to walk on a leash as a kitten does fine.
Posted by sepiolida on June 5, 2010 at 8:19 AM
mason_bryant 7
Charles is Friedrich Nietzsche as seen through a funhouse mirror.
Posted by mason_bryant on June 5, 2010 at 8:23 AM
8
Kill yourself today, Mudede.
Posted by Do it. KILL YOURSELF on June 5, 2010 at 8:23 AM
9
Man, I'm going to have to object to this. Not necessarily the cats-on-leashes thing, that's bad enough. But if people start taking their cats in grocery stores and on buses like they do their damn dogs, I'm going to have major troubles with this. It's against the law to take pets into establishments where food is served (ie, grocery stores) unless they are certified assistant animals for the disabled. I watched a guy take his pair of Jack Russells into the Capitol Hill QFC DESPITE the many signs on all the doors "No Pets" Yet this guy did all his shopping, his fat mangy mutts doing what they pleased. I especially object to cats being taken into enclosed places not because I hate cats (on the contrary, they're my favorite domesitcated animals) but because I am violently allergic to them. I am also allergic to dogs. People in this godforsaken city don't seem to care how other people feel about animals. I'm terrified of large dogs, yet I had a guy at a food bank who was letting his large Rottweiller run around WITHOUT A LEASH walk up to people. It put its drooling snout in my face. I jumped back and glared at the guy. His response? "Oh, he won't hurt ya. He's friendly." Look, I don't CARE if he's friendly. I don't want some large canine putting his fugly face in mine. Keep your damned animals AT HOME where they belong, Seattle.
Posted by Kaye on June 5, 2010 at 8:25 AM
10
This is clearly a racist remark by Charles. Those cats are still cats.
Posted by SeattleSeven on June 5, 2010 at 8:46 AM
11
You're just upset because they're putting their little cat assholes on the sidewalk.

You have animal issues Charles...
Posted by Fecal Spotter on June 5, 2010 at 8:47 AM
Catalina Vel-DuRay 12
Charles, I'm worried about you. You're younger than I am, but lately you are sounding like a Marxist Andy Rooney. Can't you post something about that girl in the Italian prison or something?
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay http://www.danlangdon.com on June 5, 2010 at 8:52 AM
13
A cat on a leash is still a cat. Have you tried walking a cat on a leash? I take my fiance's cat, Ellen, out on a leash all the time. It's more the other way round. She walks me.
Posted by mao on June 5, 2010 at 9:01 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 14
Those cats should definitely rise up against their cruel, greedy, capitalistic overlords.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on June 5, 2010 at 9:05 AM
john t 15
Birds trapped in cages for their whole lives — now that's an attack on an animal's essence. Cats on leashes I'm not too worried about.

@12 "Marxist Andy Rooney" LOL! Mudede needs a YouTube channel.
Posted by john t on June 5, 2010 at 9:26 AM
The Magic Lemur 16
@12 HA!
Posted by The Magic Lemur on June 5, 2010 at 9:29 AM
The Magic Lemur 17
Seriously, Mudede, is it -really- that fun being an obnoxious blowhard all the time? I mean, aren't you getting a little old for internet trolling?
Posted by The Magic Lemur on June 5, 2010 at 9:35 AM
Simone 18
I think I tried to leash one of my family cats in the 1990's. Didn't work out to well. Then for the fun of it I tried to leash my Bunny so I could take her to the backyard. Used one of those body leashes but she ate through it. The Bunny walked me.

The previous time (w/o a leash or fence) she hopped so fast I couldn't catch her before she went into the berry bushes that line the property. Finally retrieved her but that was scary for a teenager.
Posted by Simone on June 5, 2010 at 9:43 AM
Oldskool 19
@ Catalina, we're on the same wavelength. I too thought of Andy Rooney.

You know, he's going to kick off soon. 60 minutes will be needing a replacement. Don't turn up your nose, Charles, it's good money.
Posted by Oldskool on June 5, 2010 at 9:48 AM
venomlash 20
Cats do not belong on leashes. This is evident in that when you put a dog on a leash, you take it for a walk, but when you put a cat on a leash, you take it for a drag.
Unlike dogs with their pack mentality, cats are fiercely independent ambush predators.
Posted by venomlash on June 5, 2010 at 10:09 AM
21
I had a cat once who wouldn't go outside without her leash. I think it was a comfort and safety thing (her previous owner was abusive). Loved that cat-and she most definitely was a cat.
Posted by Jen in Spokane on June 5, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Cynic Romantic 22
Not to mention the fact that they're befouling the pavement with their arseholes...
Posted by Cynic Romantic on June 5, 2010 at 11:01 AM
23
Headline of the day
Posted by m@tt on June 5, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Alexeden 24
There has been a homeless crusty couple that has raised a few cats from kittens on the ave. Ive seen them multiple times over the last two years I've worked on the ave. The feet belonging to these particular cat owners looks too clean and hipster to belong to them, so maybe the trend is catching on? Whatever it is, it makes me sad.
Posted by Alexeden on June 5, 2010 at 11:09 AM
emor 25
If the cat takes a leash, it's fine. If the cat does not want to be walked, it will not allow itself to be leashed. Simple. My buddy and I tried to leash my overweight 15 year old cat one time, and she simply didn't allow it. What makes a cat a cat is that cats usually only do something if they want to do it.

Charles, you are really my least favorite writer at the Stranger.
Posted by emor on June 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM
Charles Mudede 26
@20, this deserves an amen: "...when you put a dog on a leash, you take it for a walk, but when you put a cat on a leash, you take it for a drag."
Posted by Charles Mudede on June 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM
Toasterhedgehog 27
kitties are fuzzy and cute.

Most cats I know think nice people are pretty cool. You don't even have to feed them. They're still ambush predators at heart, but domestic cats' brains are larger than their wild counterparts as domestics were more successful based on over hundreds or maybe thousands of generations of selection for social intelligence, and liking people.

So we have a subspecies of animal that is an ambush predator that happens to really dig large noisy bipedal primates.

They are biologically predisposed to hang out with us. I don't see how a leash can contradict their nature.
Posted by Toasterhedgehog on June 5, 2010 at 11:35 AM
28
@26

Charles, would you consider yourself an essentialist?

Posted by Judah http://www.suoxi.net on June 5, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Cascadian Bacon 29
@20&@26 Ok idiots, dogs like the cats in the picture have been trained to walk on leashes. Try putting a leash on a dog that has never been trained to walk on one and it very well may take you for a drag..

I just pictured charles being dragged by a giant dog...awesome! Being dragged by a giant dog while simultaneously being attacked by a murder of crows...words can not express
Posted by Cascadian Bacon on June 5, 2010 at 11:55 AM
30
It's pretty simple. The cat likes to go outside. Without a leash, the cat gets run over. Then the cat definitely isn't a cat and is instead road kill.
Posted by missktkat on June 5, 2010 at 12:01 PM
The Magic Lemur 31
@29 I imagine him loudly screaming both obscenities and pseudo-clever observations about the existential nature of suffering, there.
Posted by The Magic Lemur on June 5, 2010 at 12:16 PM
32
I'm glad I'm not the only one who witnessed this bizarre situation yesterday. When I passed them yesterday on my way to hell aka campus it was just starting to rain and the cats were less than pleased
Posted by pipedream on June 5, 2010 at 12:27 PM
thatsnotright 33
Some cats will do anything for a cheeseburger.
Posted by thatsnotright on June 5, 2010 at 12:30 PM
34
This is amazing. A post from Charles and I agree with it. What ever can be next? The universe has abandoned its natural order. What next?
Posted by CrankyBacon on June 5, 2010 at 12:36 PM
35
My friends cat will walk on a leash just fine. He also follows their 8 year old son to the park and watches him play.
Posted by Pluto2 on June 5, 2010 at 12:50 PM
deepeyes 36
The post would be better titled "Walking a Cat is Not Walking a Dog". Dogs are usually good at going point A to Point B in a relatively straight line. You do not so much 'walk' a cat as let it saunter thither and yon while keeping a lifeline on it for emergencies.
Posted by deepeyes http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1351140610 on June 5, 2010 at 1:18 PM
eclexia 37
I can't see the cats in question. Mr. Mudede apparently has a deep fear of cat that made him stand far back to take the picture. Did they have a pattern of spots similar to a lynx?

Ocicats generally like going for walks. They must be kept on a leash as they tend towards ADD-like behavior and could easily run in front of traffic.

Also, they like to fetch. And they vote Libertarian.
Posted by eclexia on June 5, 2010 at 1:29 PM
Cascadian Bacon 38
@37 Perhaps Charles hates the cat because its white.
Posted by Cascadian Bacon on June 5, 2010 at 1:43 PM
elenchos 39
It's good enough for me to go a day without seeing a two year old on a leash. Or a goth for that matter.
Posted by elenchos on June 5, 2010 at 1:44 PM
The Magic Lemur 40
@38 HA!

@39 Yeah, agreed. About the kid, anyway.
Posted by The Magic Lemur on June 5, 2010 at 1:47 PM
welcometothemurk22 41
The only thing worse is a cat with a muzzle. Any photos taken would instantly combust.
Posted by welcometothemurk22 on June 5, 2010 at 3:09 PM
42
My one cat is fine on the leash. The other one, not so much.
Posted by doug on June 5, 2010 at 3:57 PM
john t 43
A couple of friends of mine have a snaggle-toothed cat named Taco that thinks it's a dog or something... and they blog about it!

Pics of a happy cat on a leash:
http://tacotimez.tumblr.com
Posted by john t on June 5, 2010 at 5:44 PM
ADoodle 44
If my choices are leash, outdoor cat getting run over, or indoor cat trapped inside all its life, I happily choose leash. Dogs, cats, rabbits, children -- leashes for everyone.
Posted by ADoodle on June 5, 2010 at 5:52 PM
45
I just had an image of Charles being dragged by a large dog too. The funny part was that the dog suddenly stopped and Charles faceplanted into the dogs ass. Then the dog started doing that new dance move from Brazil. BUNGA! BUNGA!
Posted by BUNGA? on June 5, 2010 at 5:59 PM
46
Correction:

Surra De Bunda!

Saturday night time to hit the dance floor!

BUNDA! BUNDA! BUNDA!
Posted by BUNDA! on June 5, 2010 at 6:12 PM
47
Those cats look perfectly happy. It would be better if all animals had their leashes attached to chest thingies, though, not neck collars, so they don't strangle. You know those chest thingies.
Posted by sarah68 on June 5, 2010 at 6:57 PM
Lee 48
If stealing the essence of something takes 3 seconds to fasten a clasp, and can be undone completely in the same amount of time and in the same way, it is not stealing essence.
Posted by Lee on June 5, 2010 at 6:58 PM
49
BTW, I saw those cats on Broadway yesterday, and they seemed fine. Their owners seemed like a couple of doorknobs, but the cats seemed perfectly happy.
Posted by Judah http://www.suoxi.net on June 5, 2010 at 8:00 PM
50
A cat on a leash is a cat on a leash. The leash remains a leash and the cat attached to the leash remains a cat. If a cat is on a sidewalk, the sidewalk is a sidewalk, and the cat is not a sidewalk. Nor is the sidewalk a leash. A dog on a leash is not a cat on a leash and a cat on a dog is still a cat, leash or no. Thank-you.
Posted by g on June 5, 2010 at 8:32 PM
51
If someone can leash-train their cat, kudos to them. My cats are always trying escape outdoors -- they're really curious about it. Sometimes they get out, and less than an hour later, they're meowing pathetically on the front porch, trying to get back in. If I'd leash-trained them as kittens, I could take them out on walks, thereby satisfying their love of the outdoors and still keeping my house relatively flea and tick free.
Posted by Lana on June 5, 2010 at 9:28 PM
Cynic Romantic 52
elenchos @ How does one leash-train a Goth?

In other news, cats also ride motorbikes (though a warning for cat lovers, it ends badly :( )
http://lovestitches.wordpress.com/2009/0…
Posted by Cynic Romantic on June 5, 2010 at 10:01 PM
53
Hate the post as usual. Shut up Charles.
Posted by clearlyhere http://clearlyhere.livejournal.com on June 6, 2010 at 5:27 AM
54
People who put leashes on their cats and walk them look like fucking idiots.
Posted by Murphy on June 6, 2010 at 7:57 AM
55
If the cats live downtown they can't be let out without a leash. If they like fresh air, put a leash on them if they'll tolerate it. It gives everyone involved fresh air and exercize and keeps the cat in 3D. Note to The Stranger- Do you keep Charles because of all the negative mail he generates, or because of all the well written, thought provoking articles he writes (NOT)? Why not replace him with someone talented who has a better (and more positive) attitude? It would help if the replacement chose interesting and relevant topics to write on... I know I know, I did answer.
Posted by dani girl on June 6, 2010 at 3:13 PM
Christin 56
SCENE: Cows are led off the spaceship. They moo and stamp.

RIVER: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.
Posted by Christin on June 7, 2010 at 7:59 AM
57
what are you, the cat whisperer? jeez. cats rarely do anything they don't want to, so don't worry about it, charles.
Posted by baby b on June 7, 2010 at 9:31 AM
LogopolisMike 58
We got a leash/harness for my cat who is personable, playful, exploratory, and adventurous. But as soon as we put it in her, she pretended like she couldn't walk. Her legs collapsed. I'm not sure it stole her cat essence, but it certainly stole her soul personally.
Posted by LogopolisMike http://logopolis.typepad.com on June 7, 2010 at 10:24 AM
59
I think I wrote an essay in either kindergarten or elementary school called "Cats are Not Dogs" and I think my teacher wrote "No shit" on the top of the paper.
Posted by anal smith on June 7, 2010 at 10:39 AM
venomlash 60
@58: My cat Smokey, as an outdoor cat, has reluctantly accepted collars. And when we attached a leash to his collar, he was cool with it, if somewhat perplexed. It was when he felt the slightest bit of tension on the leash that he dropped to his belly and fumed until released from the leash.
Posted by venomlash on June 7, 2010 at 12:28 PM
biffster 61
they're service cats in-training for blind service dogs of blind Venetians
Posted by biffster on June 8, 2010 at 12:50 PM

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