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News & ArtsFriday, May 21, 2010
??!! / Sex Overrated, Underrated, or Rated: Handjobs
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Fri, May 21, 2010 at 4:33 PM
A woman once told me, "Handjobs saved my marriage. My husband has a more active sex drive than I do, and while I'm not always in the mood to go all out, a quick handjob keeps him (and me) happy."
Sooooooooo... as a method of keeping horny men happy…
HANDJOBS: OVERRATED, UNDERRATED, OR RATED?
As always, "rated" means the subject in question is just as awesome or awful as one might expect. And as usual feel free to defend your position in the comments below!
2
I think this video, though NSFWish is also a good illustration of the topic at, um, hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBDm47kxy…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBDm47kxy…
4
Highly underrated; they tend to be written off as freshman-year-of-high-school fodder, but I've made many boys very happy with handjobs. And after a well-orchestrated digital buildup, you just barely have to touch your tongue to their penis and they'll come. Less effort on my part by far, plus it's kind of fun to play with and much less chokey. But I admit that I might have a strange view because I hook up with boys and girls, and digits are so useful on girls, which one means I'm good with them and two means I might be more eager than others to give handjobs the college try for the fellas.
5
I always site handjobs as my weak point sexually... but once there's a little lube involved (seriously, the lube makes all the difference) and the right hand movements, it can be awesome. But I'll always take sex as the first choice.
6
I always thought that this was the sort of bringing-the-boys-to-the-yard sort of milkshake Kelis was singing about.
Wonderful things. Just lie back and feel like a king.
Wonderful things. Just lie back and feel like a king.
7
Great Post
1. Buttsex 2. Handjobs 3. Masturbation 4. Pussy Sex
I LOVE handjobs. I love to get a handjob when we're both standing up. There is the reverse handjob. There is the two fisted handjob. There is the two fisted handjob with head. The milker. God damn, I know lots of people are gonna be all over the map on this but for some people hand jobs can not be overrated.
It's not to be confused as a replacement for sex for the person giving the handjob. It is the kind of thing you do with a partner you fuck all the time, and therefore the variety makes everything better.
1. Buttsex 2. Handjobs 3. Masturbation 4. Pussy Sex
I LOVE handjobs. I love to get a handjob when we're both standing up. There is the reverse handjob. There is the two fisted handjob. There is the two fisted handjob with head. The milker. God damn, I know lots of people are gonna be all over the map on this but for some people hand jobs can not be overrated.
It's not to be confused as a replacement for sex for the person giving the handjob. It is the kind of thing you do with a partner you fuck all the time, and therefore the variety makes everything better.
9
When they're good, they're very very good; and when they're bad, you can always finish the job yourself. (Also you don't have to worry about teeth or razor stubble, which is funny to think about until it happens to you.)
(OK, it's still funny. But... OW.)
(OK, it's still funny. But... OW.)
10
ok, i was kidding about the steve jobs-hand job thing, but still, shouldn't there be an app for that?
11
I have a bit of an issue wherein just about every time I receive one, Max Fisher's sidekick says "haaandjahbs" in my mind. On more than one occasion this has led to uncontrollable laughter, which most women do not appreciate.
13
@11
For me it is the voice of Magnus with his Scottish brogue that pops into my head. "Hhan-jobe". Who knew Wes Anderson would figure into our sex lives.
For me it is the voice of Magnus with his Scottish brogue that pops into my head. "Hhan-jobe". Who knew Wes Anderson would figure into our sex lives.
14
"Tell the socialites to look the other way
It's instinctive stimulation you convey
It's a necessary function
Meant for those without compunction
Who get tired of vanilla everyday "
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGR9I-s1B…
16
For both @11 and @13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTRru0Uja…
around 2:25.
And don't forget the lube. And a little tug down below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTRru0Uja…
around 2:25.
And don't forget the lube. And a little tug down below.
18
Why are handjobs so under-rated? It's masturbation! Who thinks masturbation isn't great? Choke-holders?
19
@4 - I voted "overrated", but then I read your comment and remembered my first girlfriend ever - she gave awesome handjobs.
@16, @17 - If done right, a handjob feels better without lube, and I'm cut.
@SLOG - your spellchecker seems to feel quite strongly that handjobs are overrated.
@16, @17 - If done right, a handjob feels better without lube, and I'm cut.
@SLOG - your spellchecker seems to feel quite strongly that handjobs are overrated.
22
Is there going to be a follow-up quiz for the ladies? After all, most men can only fuck you 4 or 5 times in a good day . . . some even fewer, depending on age, hydration, etc. So what's a gal to do? I've become quite a fan of the well-administered hand job. While he recovers enough to go again, hopefully . . .
23
Frankly, I've been doing it a lot longer than the ladies have, and I'm better at it. I do like the attention, but I'd much rather have her rubbing up against me or whispering in my ear while I do it myself.
25
@22 "After all, most men can only fuck you 4 or 5 times in a good day . . . some even fewer, depending on age, hydration, etc. So what's a gal to do?"
Swap partners with a girl who only wants to have sex once a week?
Swap partners with a girl who only wants to have sex once a week?
26
@18
For some guys masturbation isn't so great because 1) their own hand stopped being a novel experience years ago, and 2) because a guy can ejaculate without orgasming (they should teach girls this sad fact in sex-ed), especially during masturbation.
Why are handjobs so under-rated? It's masturbation! Who thinks masturbation isn't great?
For some guys masturbation isn't so great because 1) their own hand stopped being a novel experience years ago, and 2) because a guy can ejaculate without orgasming (they should teach girls this sad fact in sex-ed), especially during masturbation.
27
@26: "A guy can ejaculate without orgasming." Really? Not that I'm assuming I'm necessarily representative of all guys, but that's a new one on me.
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