Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, April 27, 2010
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: It's After The Dump
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 2:59 PM
Today's SLLOTD is after the jump. Just the letter, no advice. I have nothing to say to this person. Maybe there's a Slogger or two out there willing to unpack YUM's particular issues. And before anyone can scream "FAKE!", let me just say: I'm not vouching for the letter—it could be real, it could be total shit—but it's definitely the craziest letter that came in today. Normally I would feel obligated to squeeze out a response. But I'm afraid that entertaining YUM's question would seriously interfere with my ability to enjoy the mini-cupcake that's sitting on my desk right now.
I hope you can give me a little insight and advice. I am a straight 43 year old male. I have a desire to shit into mouths of tied up feminine (gay ?) guys. I don't have any desire for any other contact. I have no desire for any sucking or fucking, just shitting in their mouths, I have no idea how to go about acting out on this and I'm not sure I would put the energy into actually doing it if I could. I only have the desire to fuck women not shit in their mouths. I find scat porn really disgusting. Do I need therapy? Am I a weirdo closet case? Would Craigslist help? Any insight would be appreciated.You Understand Men
2
Dan, surely you must have a stock response for people sending in fake requests for where to find things like Donkey Punches, Alabama Hotpockets and other Urban Dictionary activities.
3
Go on the internet and find other people, there has to be someone into this. You and him will both sign paperwork beforehand reviewed by a lawyer. Have fun.
8
I think the stock acronym should be "PTCL", or "Post To Craigslist", fake or not.
Most any fetish can be indulged through a little safe and sane correspondence on Craigslist. The usual caveats regarding prank replies, total weirdos and jerks apply, but it's a logical place to turn.
So, to YUM, fake or not, PTCL.
Most any fetish can be indulged through a little safe and sane correspondence on Craigslist. The usual caveats regarding prank replies, total weirdos and jerks apply, but it's a logical place to turn.
So, to YUM, fake or not, PTCL.
10
Yesterday you were going on about your aversion to Crisco frosting. Today you've got a giant mound of it on your desk. Which is it?
12
I just had a Chocolate Red Velvet cupcake from the Lemon Leaf Cupcake Co. on 4th & Blanchard... And it was full size!
13
I just had a Chocolate Red Velvet cupcake from the Lemon Leaf Cupcake Co. on 4th & Blanchard... And it was full size!
18
@7 Very appropriate response considering the 3 carefully placed sprinkles on top of Dan's mound of cupcake frosting.
21
If this is serious, I do have to wonder if this guy has some serious homophobia sitting somewhere in his subconscious that wants to come out. Not that he's gay and repressed. No, perhaps he is a run-of-the-mill homophobic straight guy who's tried so hard to put away his anti-gay feelings and be modern, but can't deep down and the resentment is coming out sideways. Hopefully no (feminine) gay guy will allow him to do this to him. The fact that he is very emphatic that he doesn't want to do anything else with a gay man, and has no interest in shit in general or shit with women, really makes me think this might be going on. So, does he need therapy? Only if this fantasy is really disturbing him or impeding his life, or only if he thinks that not indulging it might result in some kind of non-consensual mouth-poop scenario with some poor gay man somewhere.
22
As a feminine gay guy my advice to him would be: Go base jump off the Space Needle with no parachute.
26
Obviously Dan prefers his cupcakes to be equal parts cake and frosting. the sprinkles are a nice touch. I prefer to dip my cupcakes into sprinkles the way one might smother something in sugar though. So those three sprinkles like mighty lonely to me.
27
@19, OK, great. My idea of a good time doesn't involve eating a half-stick of butter with a little sugar. Cupcakes are disgusting by nature, and cupcakes with a half-pound of frosting are worse.
28
Man, now I really want some sugary baked goods. I was already hungry. Now I'm hungry for junk food.
31
Dear YUM,
You want to have no other contact with a gay man, aside from shitting in his mouth...
You would be in good company if you joined pretty much any far right wing organization. NOM, perhaps. Or the Mormon Church.
You want to have no other contact with a gay man, aside from shitting in his mouth...
You would be in good company if you joined pretty much any far right wing organization. NOM, perhaps. Or the Mormon Church.
33
As a feminine gay man, I have the strong desire to tie up YUM and cram that cupcake somewhere it will never be found.
But I am with roadtripboy. Directions to the space needle are in order.
But I am with roadtripboy. Directions to the space needle are in order.
34
This is not a kink for YUM. He harbors contempt for gays, especially those who he perceives as effeminate. Yes, he needs serious counseling to flesh out the root of his hostility. He sounds like a classic Jeffery Dalhmer type.
36
Damn skippy you need therapy. Call the Exodus folks - at the very least, you might help them turn a few guys straight!
38
Do I need therapy? - You think about it often enough to feel compelled to write to Dan, so yes.
Am I a weirdo closet case? - Weirdo, yes.
Would Craigslist help? - Depends on your definition of "help".
Am I a weirdo closet case? - Weirdo, yes.
Would Craigslist help? - Depends on your definition of "help".
39
Sorry, but all I can think about when I see this image is:
"Two Girls, One Cupcake".
Please accept my apologies in advance...
"Two Girls, One Cupcake".
Please accept my apologies in advance...
41
Assuming YUM is real, I suggest the Dexter Morgan paradigm: find genuinely bad people. Shit in mouths that deserve to receive shit. Get a civilian job with the PD to get access to malefactors, learn good detective skills to be absolutely sure, learn how to cover your tracks, and settle your sick sociopathic fetish that way.
42
I love how awkward-looking that little cupcake is. Muffin top, off-center dollop, random sprinkles. Still looks delish, though! I love that you love cake, Dan.
As for the letter...eesh! Maybe he could take a cue from last week's SL and start out light by farting in some tied-up dude's mouths instead! Or, what if he inserted something into his (clean) ass, and then shat that object into the guy's mouth? I have to think that would be a lot less unhealthy for the recipient, and would probably make a recipient more likely to exist.
As for the letter...eesh! Maybe he could take a cue from last week's SL and start out light by farting in some tied-up dude's mouths instead! Or, what if he inserted something into his (clean) ass, and then shat that object into the guy's mouth? I have to think that would be a lot less unhealthy for the recipient, and would probably make a recipient more likely to exist.
44
@ 19 - Yeah, looks like a chocolate buttercream to me too.
Also, you have the best handle ever. Seriously.
Also, you have the best handle ever. Seriously.
45
Consensual, even respectful fantasy, from a pretty self-aware guy. I mean no offense to anyone, but I'm sure it's much easier to arrange than to analyze or explain. There are plenty of terribly white-collar, male, nonreciprocal bdsm bottoms out there with a variety of (er) receptive kinks. I wonder what the ratio of guys who are receptive to this (even NSA) to guys who'd oblige in a consensual/respectful way.
46
I'm with #21 - I suspect it's more psychological and less sexual in nature, more about humiliating the dump receiver than anything else.
Not that anybody cares, though. You're all too busy deflecting your thoughts toward Dan's cupcake. :)
Not that anybody cares, though. You're all too busy deflecting your thoughts toward Dan's cupcake. :)
48
@45: I'm surprised it took me until this far down to find someone who didn't find this so outrageous. Humiliation (IF that's what he's going for here) isn't all that unusual in BDSM, and the notion of finding someone to do -- or simulate -- this doesn't seem that far-fetched to me. (Certainly not worthy of suggesting a violent end for the letter writer.) Of course, it seems more likely something he'd be able to fulfill in a longer-standing BDSM context.
49
Please tell me there is NO ONE who would be interested in this? (Then again, that German cannibal, Armin Meiwes, found a willing victim to be killed and eaten.)
I hope it's all just a sick joke.
I hope it's all just a sick joke.
51
If this is not a joke, then here are my thoughts:
The letter writer said he probably wouldn't invest the energy into doing it, so it's something he can live without doing. So, this is one of those thoughts he should keep to himself, and not tell anybody. Everybody has those. For example, have you ever seen somebody from the side, and thought they were super hot, but when they turned around you saw they were wearing an "I love Bill O'Reilly" t-shirt? If so, you keep your moment of attraction to that person to yourself, and never tell your friends and lovers who might throw up in their mouths if they hear about it. It's a secret you keep to yourself.
The letter writer said he probably wouldn't invest the energy into doing it, so it's something he can live without doing. So, this is one of those thoughts he should keep to himself, and not tell anybody. Everybody has those. For example, have you ever seen somebody from the side, and thought they were super hot, but when they turned around you saw they were wearing an "I love Bill O'Reilly" t-shirt? If so, you keep your moment of attraction to that person to yourself, and never tell your friends and lovers who might throw up in their mouths if they hear about it. It's a secret you keep to yourself.
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