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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Trustworthiness of Beards

Posted by on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 at 3:12 PM

I take issue with Goatee + Mustache being rated as Very Trustworthy to Mildly Trustworthy, but otherwise this graph is pretty right on.

 

Comments (16) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
The cop 'stache should be with the questionable type.
Posted by MarkH on April 20, 2010 at 3:22 PM
Enigma 2
I love that Werewolf is just a touch more trustworthy than the Pencil Thin 'Stach, aka, the John Waters.
Posted by Enigma http://approvereferendum71.org/ on April 20, 2010 at 3:24 PM
Will in Seattle 3
It depends on if the werewolf is shirtless or if the pencil thin stach is shirtless.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on April 20, 2010 at 3:26 PM
4
Handlebar mustaches are never, ever to be trusted.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on April 20, 2010 at 3:29 PM
COMTE 5
This makes no sense at all, since everybody knows that goatees are always worn by one's parallel-universe evil twin. So, they should by rights fall somewhere between Threatening and Dangerous.
Posted by COMTE http://www.chriscomte.com on April 20, 2010 at 3:33 PM
rejemy 6
Since when is a soul patch dangerous or threatening? The only danger you might face is having to feign interest while he talks for too long about his friend's band.
Posted by rejemy on April 20, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Banna 7
@5: Goatee-wearing evil twins are always lawful evil; there's a code that they usually have to follow, so you can usually trust that they're going to do the opposite of what they say they're going to. I find that more trustworthy than the cop 'stache. I also find the John Waters more trustworthy than the cop'stache.
Posted by Banna http://www.ucp.org on April 20, 2010 at 3:51 PM
8
I'm not going to raise a stink because facial hair styles are elective for those with facial hair. Still, it's a bummer to see the fear a bushy Brimley can inspire or the homophobia a John Waters can. I can't even wear a Van Dyke anymore without complete strangers confiding in me. Not cool. FIGHT BEARD & MUSTACHE PREJUDICE! Totally putting that on a sign at the next protest.
Posted by Chivo on April 20, 2010 at 3:53 PM
Dougsf 9
Comte is correct; evil twins from a parallel universe, baseball players, and Sierra Nevada drinkers are prefer this suspicious design. They aren't to trusted.
Posted by Dougsf on April 20, 2010 at 4:00 PM
Matt from Denver 10
Question: what exact style do "beardos" wear?
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 20, 2010 at 4:38 PM
balderdash 11
There needs to be some sort of clear notation that only clean-shaven dudes are completely trustworthy. Beards mean you're hiding something.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on April 20, 2010 at 4:57 PM
Fnarf 12
@11, quite so. Besides, the only style of beard I CAN grow, the "specks of dirt" model, isn't even on the chart.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on April 20, 2010 at 5:19 PM
Max Solomon 13
beards are for winter. it's spring. shave, hipsters.
Posted by Max Solomon on April 20, 2010 at 5:45 PM
14
what? no starburns?

http://greendalecommunity.blogspot.com/2…
Posted by Starburns on April 22, 2010 at 8:26 AM
15
i dont have a beard, i wish i have one, i really wanted one to grow on mine.

Drew
Posted by drew_hause@yahoo.com on April 23, 2010 at 7:45 AM
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