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News & ArtsTuesday, April 20, 2010
Fashion The Trustworthiness of Beards
Posted by Grant Brissey on Tue, Apr 20, 2010 at 3:12 PM
I take issue with Goatee + Mustache being rated as Very Trustworthy to Mildly Trustworthy, but otherwise this graph is pretty right on.
2
I love that Werewolf is just a touch more trustworthy than the Pencil Thin 'Stach, aka, the John Waters.
5
This makes no sense at all, since everybody knows that goatees are always worn by one's parallel-universe evil twin. So, they should by rights fall somewhere between Threatening and Dangerous.
6
Since when is a soul patch dangerous or threatening? The only danger you might face is having to feign interest while he talks for too long about his friend's band.
7
@5: Goatee-wearing evil twins are always lawful evil; there's a code that they usually have to follow, so you can usually trust that they're going to do the opposite of what they say they're going to. I find that more trustworthy than the cop 'stache. I also find the John Waters more trustworthy than the cop'stache.
8
I'm not going to raise a stink because facial hair styles are elective for those with facial hair. Still, it's a bummer to see the fear a bushy Brimley can inspire or the homophobia a John Waters can. I can't even wear a Van Dyke anymore without complete strangers confiding in me. Not cool. FIGHT BEARD & MUSTACHE PREJUDICE! Totally putting that on a sign at the next protest.
9
Comte is correct; evil twins from a parallel universe, baseball players, and Sierra Nevada drinkers are prefer this suspicious design. They aren't to trusted.
11
There needs to be some sort of clear notation that only clean-shaven dudes are completely trustworthy. Beards mean you're hiding something.
12
@11, quite so. Besides, the only style of beard I CAN grow, the "specks of dirt" model, isn't even on the chart.
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