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News & ArtsMonday, April 12, 2010
International White Women Are Lonely in China
Posted by Charles Mudede on Mon, Apr 12, 2010 at 8:17 AM
According to this article, white women in China are lonely because, one, they get no love from white men:
Another put it a little more bluntly: "I think white girls here are at a disadvantage because a lot of white males here have some degree of yellow fever. There are Western guys that are only into Chinese girls."
Two, white woman are just not into Chinese men:
Some female expats themselves readily admit that they just aren't attracted to Chinese men, much to the dismay of some of those men.An Asian-American told me his woe of being part of an unloved cohort: "The media just doesn't portray us as sex objects. It gets even worse with Western women because the height factor alone is a problem. Women want to date tall guys and a lot of us Asian men are smaller than the white girls."
Of course, none of this is in any way scientific. It's nothing more than a small number of observations made by the reporter and the people she interviewed. Let's leave it at that.
3
Mudede's at it early this morning.
It's nice of him to be all sympathetic to those lovelorn Chinese fellas.
It's nice of him to be all sympathetic to those lovelorn Chinese fellas.
5
Sorry, most white chicks in Asia are bitter, uptight and over weight.
Why eat cottage cheese when you can have brie?
Why eat cottage cheese when you can have brie?
6
I'm sorry too, as a white woman, but I can't find men who are shorter than me attractive. I'm 5'10 barefoot. A 5'10 man is already short, because as soon as I put socks on I'm taller than he is.
And you may call this superficiality, but I am not able to find a man attractive if he is under 5'11 - 6' at least. Intellectually I may agree he is good-looking, but I cease to be attracted to him sexually as soon as I realize he is short.
And you may call this superficiality, but I am not able to find a man attractive if he is under 5'11 - 6' at least. Intellectually I may agree he is good-looking, but I cease to be attracted to him sexually as soon as I realize he is short.
7
@5: What an odd analogy, considering so many Asians are lactose intolerant. I enjoy cheese -- brie? I'd rather go for peppered Stilton -- but at the price of a lot of *bad* farts.
I'm still a delicate lotus blossom, right? Your little wonton? RIGHT?
I'm still a delicate lotus blossom, right? Your little wonton? RIGHT?
8
I have read it is the women who chose their mate, not the man. Economically speaking, who benefits more? On average, the Chinese women choosing the white man.
9
"I'm still a delicate lotus blossom, right?"
Sorry, Asian women are tough as nails, nothing delicate about them.
The great myth from the west is that they are submissive; western women confuse their neurosis and self-absorption with empowerment. That's why they are so unattractive when they swim in the Asian pond.
Sorry, Asian women are tough as nails, nothing delicate about them.
The great myth from the west is that they are submissive; western women confuse their neurosis and self-absorption with empowerment. That's why they are so unattractive when they swim in the Asian pond.
10
Why does this say "white woman are . . ." in the headline and in the article? Is this supposed to be some kind of Oriental-speak?
12
As a twenty-two year old girl just back from China, I can say that while I ordinarily disagree with China Daily (either due to the bad quality of their articles, or the obvious pro-government rhetoric), this article rings very true to the experiences of my friends and I while abroad. I disagree that Chinese men are less aggressive (after several impromptu two-hour long photo sessions with busloads of Chinese business men, I can't agree with them on that point), I would say that the only ones hitting on Western women are those older Chinese business men. The problem, I think, is that with both Western and Chinese men in Beijing, the standard is the same: forty year old business men expect to get with twenty-something-year-old women. Perhaps the Chinese girls are just more willing to date older foreign men (with the implied social status that entails), but expat women find no such advantages in dating older Chinese men.
14
"how many caucasian women in china are in the dating pool? like 6?"
Get out and travel a little, thousands working in China, Hong Kong and across Asia. Some are cool and know how to have a good time, many drag their Western neurosis to Asia and then start bitching about how shallow the local women are.
Get out and travel a little, thousands working in China, Hong Kong and across Asia. Some are cool and know how to have a good time, many drag their Western neurosis to Asia and then start bitching about how shallow the local women are.
15
"expat women find no such advantages in dating older Chinese men."
Why not? Open your mind a little.
Why not? Open your mind a little.
16
@9: That was my riff. "Little wonton", I hope, isn't taken as a sincere term of endearment in your experience.
17
Another reason it's awesome to be 4'11. I've dated guys as tall as 6'2" (a little awkward, but fun!) all the way to the guy I married, who's 5'6 (a perfect fit). And asian guys are very sexy... I don't really get that whole hangup.
19
My experience has been that it's not the physical differences but the cultural differences that make Chinese men unattractive to most Western women. Chinese husbands drink, smoke, stay out all night with their buddies, and don't really care what their wives think. Chinese wives generally run the household and don't really care what their husbands think. Most Western women aren't going to be happy with that. (Although if Chinese guys were tall and buff, they might be as attractive to Western women for dating purposes, as opposed to relationship purposes, as Latin American men.)
There's also the immigration angle. My experience has been that when a Chinese woman meets a Western man in China, within three questions she'll be asking when he plans to return to the United States. She can make a fairly good life for herself as an immigrant wife. A Chinese man who is in the position to date Western women probably has better prospects in China, and how many Western women really intend to remain in China for the long term? Most such Chinese men are busy, so, sure, one or two dates, on the understanding that it's really not going to go anywhere are ok, but other than for the extremely curious, the hassle factor of explaining the situation to family, friends and co-workers outweighs any possible advantage, so why bother?
There's also the immigration angle. My experience has been that when a Chinese woman meets a Western man in China, within three questions she'll be asking when he plans to return to the United States. She can make a fairly good life for herself as an immigrant wife. A Chinese man who is in the position to date Western women probably has better prospects in China, and how many Western women really intend to remain in China for the long term? Most such Chinese men are busy, so, sure, one or two dates, on the understanding that it's really not going to go anywhere are ok, but other than for the extremely curious, the hassle factor of explaining the situation to family, friends and co-workers outweighs any possible advantage, so why bother?
20
"Let's leave it at that."
Then close the comments or don't bring it up in the first place, maybe?
Then close the comments or don't bring it up in the first place, maybe?
21
Skeptika @6: I've got no problem with you primarily dating men taller than you. But 5'10" men are not "short." (American average male height: 5'9"). You, on the other hand, are incredibly tall, since the average American woman is around 5'4"...your perspective is thus skewed.
22
@16. You're right, schmacky. 5'10'' is not short. And I want to reassure people I find plenty of "shorter" people to be good-looking.
23
@19 is so wrong. There are far more issues than cultural differences. White women love many other cultures around the world; even older, smoking, womanizing type men. The majority of Asian men are unattractive to your average white woman. There are woman with self-confidence and image issues that might date Asian men but just being seen with an Asian man is a red flag that there must be something wrong with your self esteem just like being with a much older man is a red flag for being a gold digger. And some woman are even proud to be recognized as a gold digger.
Many white women would much rather date a black man than an Asian man. However, there are a few very tall, dark and handsome Asians out there in China but most definitely either already taken, gay, or maybe a famous Chinese singer, or all of the above.
Many white women would much rather date a black man than an Asian man. However, there are a few very tall, dark and handsome Asians out there in China but most definitely either already taken, gay, or maybe a famous Chinese singer, or all of the above.
24
Face it, Asian women don't let themselves go to hell in by age 30 like most American white women do. Once white women squeeze out a couple of puppies, they look like grandmothers.
25
Years ago I knew a Horizon Air sales rep. She was originally from the east coast--not that this is relevant to the story--and she dated only Asian men. One night after several drinks she said she'd had a hysterectomy which made sex painful with large penises so that's why she developed the taste for rice.
27
Good Morning Charles,
You broach (or maybe China Daily did) an interesting (controversial?) subject. It's basically the "relatively of beauty".
Indeed, cultures define beauty or "attractivness" as a whole. Larger or big white women do quite well, romantically in Africa. I discovered this phenomenon while living there as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Seriously, many of my female colleagues remarked this. I recall a controversey (it was reported in the NYT) over an African beauty queen who was working as a model in Europe. When she returned to Africa many of her fellow Africans were appalled at how slender she was. "Largeness" is a sign of wealth and health. BTW, the reverse was true of essentially, all men in general from roughly the beginning of the Industrial Revolution to well into the 20th century when women eventually started gaining economic and political power and especially control over their own bodies. Bigger-girthed fellows got more ladies. To be sure, men of wealth and accoutrements displayed were a draw but I think that has changed. At the end of the day, we're all animals and display our "feathers" one way or another.
You broach (or maybe China Daily did) an interesting (controversial?) subject. It's basically the "relatively of beauty".
Indeed, cultures define beauty or "attractivness" as a whole. Larger or big white women do quite well, romantically in Africa. I discovered this phenomenon while living there as a Peace Corps Volunteer. Seriously, many of my female colleagues remarked this. I recall a controversey (it was reported in the NYT) over an African beauty queen who was working as a model in Europe. When she returned to Africa many of her fellow Africans were appalled at how slender she was. "Largeness" is a sign of wealth and health. BTW, the reverse was true of essentially, all men in general from roughly the beginning of the Industrial Revolution to well into the 20th century when women eventually started gaining economic and political power and especially control over their own bodies. Bigger-girthed fellows got more ladies. To be sure, men of wealth and accoutrements displayed were a draw but I think that has changed. At the end of the day, we're all animals and display our "feathers" one way or another.
28
6 has a point -- I've never met a woman who was interested in dating a man shorter than she was. It's an almost universal dealbreaker. At 6' 3", I haven't been rejected for that reason, but it's probably the last rejection I have yet to accomplish. (fingers crossed)
29
I remember sitting in a bar in Shanghai with a group of 5'10" and 6 ft Chinese models and asked them the same question: how do find dates when all the men are shorter?
Best line one of them gave?
"Rich men are never short"
Best line one of them gave?
"Rich men are never short"
32
"I guess you only meet shallow women."
Or smart women...depends on your perspective now, doesn't it?
Or smart women...depends on your perspective now, doesn't it?
33
6 feet flat and taller catch my eye. Likely reason is that I'm tall and I naturally look up. Still, I dated men ranging from 5 feet 4 inches to 6 feet 6 inches, and they were each in their own way so, so lovely.
34
As a Canadian of Asian decent, I have to say the height thing is pretty accurate. I'm 5'10 1/2 and have been with pretty exclusively with white and black girls in Canada because that's who basically hits on me here. I recently have been travelling to Thailand and can see the couples with 60 year old men and 20s Thai girls running around. White girls just don't stand a chance in asia with their attitudes and huge, flat asses.
35
@32: How is dating only taller men "smarter"? I mean, yes, I prefer taller men as well, but I don't consider this a reflection of my smarts.
If you do choose to date only tall men, you may of course end up still finding plenty of good matches, but you're certainly not *gaining* much (except in the one department of height). So, if anything, you're losing out a bit because you've narrowed your pool based on only one characteristic and what's more, one that men have almost no personal control over.
This isn't even a personal perspective -- it's outright numbers.
If you do choose to date only tall men, you may of course end up still finding plenty of good matches, but you're certainly not *gaining* much (except in the one department of height). So, if anything, you're losing out a bit because you've narrowed your pool based on only one characteristic and what's more, one that men have almost no personal control over.
This isn't even a personal perspective -- it's outright numbers.
36
" How is dating only taller men "smarter""
I didn't say taller, I said richer. read the thread.
Either way, very few Asian women get cottage cheese asses like white chicks do...is it any surprise the foreigners in Asia reject white chicks and their neurosis?
I didn't say taller, I said richer. read the thread.
Either way, very few Asian women get cottage cheese asses like white chicks do...is it any surprise the foreigners in Asia reject white chicks and their neurosis?
37
Charles,
There are black guys in China that'd easily date a white women. These white women should go looking for them because if they get married, they'd be more than happy to go back to their wives' countries and fair better there.
There are black guys in China that'd easily date a white women. These white women should go looking for them because if they get married, they'd be more than happy to go back to their wives' countries and fair better there.
38
@ 34,
Ahem, I just have to weigh in here about ass comparisons. I used to work for a retailer that sold women's jeans. Some ladies would come in and grab a few pairs of the same brand and style in 'their' size in different colors. One pair in one color would fit while another color would not. I quickly discovered that jeans manufactured in Egypt and Guatemala would fit a lady who was more pear shaped, while jeans manufactured in Taiwan and China would fit a woman with less 'junk in da trunk'. Even though they were supposed to be the same cut (such as Levi's 515s) and the same size, they fit differently because they were, ahem, shaped to figure of the folks who manufactured them.
Ahem, I just have to weigh in here about ass comparisons. I used to work for a retailer that sold women's jeans. Some ladies would come in and grab a few pairs of the same brand and style in 'their' size in different colors. One pair in one color would fit while another color would not. I quickly discovered that jeans manufactured in Egypt and Guatemala would fit a lady who was more pear shaped, while jeans manufactured in Taiwan and China would fit a woman with less 'junk in da trunk'. Even though they were supposed to be the same cut (such as Levi's 515s) and the same size, they fit differently because they were, ahem, shaped to figure of the folks who manufactured them.
39
I fucking love Asian men. And I love fucking Asian men. It`s one of the reasons why I`ve lived here in Japan so long.
40
Re: Asian1981
Seriously. We get that you have a fetish for Asian women, and that sometime in your past, a white woman dumped you and hurt your feelings. Now you get a thrill in your pants every time you get a chance to lash out at those scaaary scary white women.
Heads up to you: Those cute Asian chicks you're fucking? Wouldn't be half as interested in you if they didn't see the potential green card reflected in your eyes. Or maybe just the green dollar signs. I don't presume to judge how you attract them.
Seriously. We get that you have a fetish for Asian women, and that sometime in your past, a white woman dumped you and hurt your feelings. Now you get a thrill in your pants every time you get a chance to lash out at those scaaary scary white women.
Heads up to you: Those cute Asian chicks you're fucking? Wouldn't be half as interested in you if they didn't see the potential green card reflected in your eyes. Or maybe just the green dollar signs. I don't presume to judge how you attract them.
41
Seriously dude, I've also slept with Asian American babes (I live here afterall) so why are they fucking me?
Stopped dating white chicks after I went Asian...never looked back. Enjoy those sagging, flappy white ladies that look like they are 60 at 40.
Stopped dating white chicks after I went Asian...never looked back. Enjoy those sagging, flappy white ladies that look like they are 60 at 40.
42
Why are they fucking you? Hmm, let's see. After reading all of your posts here, I'd have to say it's because their asshole detector is broken.
43
"Why are they fucking you?"
Hey, why does fine wine like to be opened and enjoyed? I don't know.
Enjoy your rock gut.
(It's 'fucked' btw, I'm happily married now.)
Hey, why does fine wine like to be opened and enjoyed? I don't know.
Enjoy your rock gut.
(It's 'fucked' btw, I'm happily married now.)
44
Ok, I'll be the guy to say it: It's not ok to refuse to date someone (man or woman) because of their height. Its also not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people."
Shallowness is NOT an acceptable character trait. It does, in fact, make you a bad person. If you find yourself in this situation, you should probably seek therapy. There is something wrong with you.
...The more you know.
Shallowness is NOT an acceptable character trait. It does, in fact, make you a bad person. If you find yourself in this situation, you should probably seek therapy. There is something wrong with you.
...The more you know.
45
I love sucking off Chinese weightlifters and musclemen. That's why I go to Gold's Gym. I love Chinese cheese too.
46
@36: I did read the thread. If *you* read the thread, you'd realize you were responding to a remark about women who exclusively date taller men. You're the one making up the conversation here, not me.
47
"Its also not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people.""
Total and utter bullshit.
We do not have to fuck people we find physically repulsive. It's an evolutionary necessity to pursue what we find attractive.
Total and utter bullshit.
We do not have to fuck people we find physically repulsive. It's an evolutionary necessity to pursue what we find attractive.
48
@47 - I dont even know where to begin with this.
First, go back and retake Biology 101. You clearly missed something.
Second, whether you're attracted to someone has way less to do with someone's biological fitness as a mate who will produce physically and mentally superior offspring and way more to do with what society tells you is desirable. Need I bring up the waif-ish model argument?
I also never said you should fuck someone you find repulsive. I said that if you were shallow and found blanket categories of people inherently undesirable then there is something wrong with you. Thank you for making my point for me, cheese-fucker. (Seriously, Brie?)
Finally, register or STFU.
First, go back and retake Biology 101. You clearly missed something.
Second, whether you're attracted to someone has way less to do with someone's biological fitness as a mate who will produce physically and mentally superior offspring and way more to do with what society tells you is desirable. Need I bring up the waif-ish model argument?
I also never said you should fuck someone you find repulsive. I said that if you were shallow and found blanket categories of people inherently undesirable then there is something wrong with you. Thank you for making my point for me, cheese-fucker. (Seriously, Brie?)
Finally, register or STFU.
49
No, you said:
" not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people."
Again, utter bullshit. It is OK to refuse to date people you do not find physically attractive. This is not some kind of fucking civil rights issue (I love your comment about people not wanting to fuck black people....are those people racists?).
If you don't agree, take a date with Mr. Muede and the give him a good BJ. Just be careful, he likes blondes with big tits.
" not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people."
Again, utter bullshit. It is OK to refuse to date people you do not find physically attractive. This is not some kind of fucking civil rights issue (I love your comment about people not wanting to fuck black people....are those people racists?).
If you don't agree, take a date with Mr. Muede and the give him a good BJ. Just be careful, he likes blondes with big tits.
50
I pretty much have mostly dated guys who are taller than I am, but I'm 5'2", so I don't run into a lot of guys shorter than I am anyway. I have certainly found a couple of guys smaller than me very hot, but jockeys usually have their pick of women already.
51
@49 - Yes, it is racist . Refusing to relate to someone on equal grounds with the rest of the world solely based on the color of their skin is, by definition, racism.
What is not ok, is to take one look at someone and say "I could never be attracted to someone." Why? Because people aren't valued in their tits, their skin color, or how tall they are. Its not a civil rights issue at all; its whether or not you are a twisted, fucked-up, psych case, or a decent person.
What is not ok, is to take one look at someone and say "I could never be attracted to someone." Why? Because people aren't valued in their tits, their skin color, or how tall they are. Its not a civil rights issue at all; its whether or not you are a twisted, fucked-up, psych case, or a decent person.
52
" Refusing to relate to someone on equal grounds with the rest of the world solely based on the color of their skin is, by definition, racism."
Well, that would make about 90% of the planet racist...of course that's assuming people who do fuck across race aren't suffering from jungle fever or yellow fever or colonialist fever, in which case, probably 99% of the world is racist.
So my question is, with so many racists out there, who you gonna sue?
Now remember, I've fucked black, white, Asian, jewish, catholic, hindu, muslim, atheist, a 5 footer and a 6 footer. I even fucked a girl who was...ahem...slightly over weight.
So can I get one of your "I'm not a racist, I've fucked brown people" t-shirts?
Well, that would make about 90% of the planet racist...of course that's assuming people who do fuck across race aren't suffering from jungle fever or yellow fever or colonialist fever, in which case, probably 99% of the world is racist.
So my question is, with so many racists out there, who you gonna sue?
Now remember, I've fucked black, white, Asian, jewish, catholic, hindu, muslim, atheist, a 5 footer and a 6 footer. I even fucked a girl who was...ahem...slightly over weight.
So can I get one of your "I'm not a racist, I've fucked brown people" t-shirts?
53
Truthfully, I love giant American wangs. Any color will do, so long as they're giant and American. GO WANG TEAM USA!
54
Haha, I'm just kidding about cottage cheese thighs! Truthfully, I am so insecure about my own body and personal relationships that I find the only escape from my self-loathing hatred in trolling The Stranger.
I would like to apologize to anyone who has been ever been offended by me and apologize again in advance of whatever else I may do in the future. I am a horrible person and realize that I have a problem.
I would like to apologize to anyone who has been ever been offended by me and apologize again in advance of whatever else I may do in the future. I am a horrible person and realize that I have a problem.
55
"Refusing to relate to someone on equal grounds with the rest of the world solely based on the color of their skin is, by definition, racism."
So you like black people because you are willing to fuck them?
So you like black people because you are willing to fuck them?
56
@55 Noooooooooo. Notice in the sentence you quoted there's nothing about sex, fucking, intercourse, or doing the nasty. What I was pointing out was how it's wrong to take an entire group of individuals and exclude them from something based solely on their race or ethnicity.
By the way, I'm done feeding the trolls. I'm not responding to anyone else unless they're registered.
By the way, I'm done feeding the trolls. I'm not responding to anyone else unless they're registered.
57
" how it's wrong to take an entire group of individuals and exclude them from something based solely on their race or ethnicity."
OK, but this thread is talking about fucking (ok, dating, which you only do as a gateway to fucking) and you stated that anyone who doesn't want to date other races is a racist.
OK, but this thread is talking about fucking (ok, dating, which you only do as a gateway to fucking) and you stated that anyone who doesn't want to date other races is a racist.
58
And again, you've changed your story, you specifically stated that it was unacceptable and racist to only date/fuck certain kinds of people:
" It's not ok to refuse to date someone (man or woman) because of their height. Its also not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people.""
So Collin, now you're claiming what exactly?
" It's not ok to refuse to date someone (man or woman) because of their height. Its also not ok to refuse to date someone because their breasts are too small, they're bald, or "you're just not attracted to black people.""
So Collin, now you're claiming what exactly?
59
Hey Everyone - It is OK not to date someone for any reason. As for getting laid; it is not a civil right and if someone discriminates against you then you just don't float their boat. Move on.
60
"it is not a civil right and if someone discriminates against you then you just don't float their boat."
Everytime someone refuses to sleep with me, I know it's sizism!
Everytime someone refuses to sleep with me, I know it's sizism!
62
@59 - No one besides the annoying troll is saying it's a legal issue, but being shallow is not a virtue. I'm not saying it's anything other than a moral issue. Simply, a good person isn't shallow.
63
Actually here's the real low down:
If it's a local Chinese guy chances are he doesn't want anything to do with a foreign girl because they are typically too fat and don't place enough emphasis on dressing up. Note that I don't say fashionable. It's just that typical Chinese girls were high heels, tons of make up and "fancy" clothing. If you are straight grunge girl from Seattle with yellow fever, China is not a target rich environment.
Then if you are looking to hook up with Expat guys there is the problem of competing with tons of "free" pussy. Meaning that foreign guys in China can score waaayyy better looking Chinese girls than they would get back home because they are viewed as "rich". BTW Expat guys are anyone who grew up outside of China. This would include guys who look Asian as well as European, etc.
So yeah, it suck to be a single foreign girl looking for love in China. But really it doesn't have to do with height. There are plenty of tall Chinese guys they just want a cute, thin girl who dresses sexy.
If it's a local Chinese guy chances are he doesn't want anything to do with a foreign girl because they are typically too fat and don't place enough emphasis on dressing up. Note that I don't say fashionable. It's just that typical Chinese girls were high heels, tons of make up and "fancy" clothing. If you are straight grunge girl from Seattle with yellow fever, China is not a target rich environment.
Then if you are looking to hook up with Expat guys there is the problem of competing with tons of "free" pussy. Meaning that foreign guys in China can score waaayyy better looking Chinese girls than they would get back home because they are viewed as "rich". BTW Expat guys are anyone who grew up outside of China. This would include guys who look Asian as well as European, etc.
So yeah, it suck to be a single foreign girl looking for love in China. But really it doesn't have to do with height. There are plenty of tall Chinese guys they just want a cute, thin girl who dresses sexy.
64
Collin:
It's a beautiful dream, but that's not how life works.
We don't get to choose who we're physically attracted to. Let's say I don't like to date pigeon-toed women. You say that makes me a twisted, fucked-up psych case. I say it makes me human.
But let me turn your logic around. My bias against pigeon-toed women isn't something I chose, it's just how I feel. You're making me out to be a bad person because of something about me that I can't alter. Doesn't that kind of make you a twisted, fucked-up psych case by your own standards?
It would be nice if looks didn't matter, but they do. Fortunately, they matter in different ways. A friend of mine likes bigger women. I prefer leaner women. That's just how it goes, and neither of us is wrong for having a preference. Just because preferences are sometimes unfair doesn't mean that the right answer is to pretend they don't exist. This is part of the human condition. You can't fix it by ignoring it.
It's a beautiful dream, but that's not how life works.
We don't get to choose who we're physically attracted to. Let's say I don't like to date pigeon-toed women. You say that makes me a twisted, fucked-up psych case. I say it makes me human.
But let me turn your logic around. My bias against pigeon-toed women isn't something I chose, it's just how I feel. You're making me out to be a bad person because of something about me that I can't alter. Doesn't that kind of make you a twisted, fucked-up psych case by your own standards?
It would be nice if looks didn't matter, but they do. Fortunately, they matter in different ways. A friend of mine likes bigger women. I prefer leaner women. That's just how it goes, and neither of us is wrong for having a preference. Just because preferences are sometimes unfair doesn't mean that the right answer is to pretend they don't exist. This is part of the human condition. You can't fix it by ignoring it.
65
Re: what Collin wrote at 44:
I whole-heartedly disagree with this. Regardless of how they came to be that way, some people have libidos that are wired in certain ways and they shouldn't be ashamed of them. It's a lot like fetishes, or even sexual orientation. If a gay man is only attracted to men, he isn't "shallow" because he won't date a woman. If a man only gets hard at the sight of a voluptuous BBW, he isn't "a bad person" if he declines to date a rake-thin woman. If a woman just can't get wet thinking about a man that's six inches shorter than her, there's no reason she should be obligated to date a short guy she's just not attracted to. Having preferences and being willing to act on those preferences does not mean "there is something wrong with you." It means you're honest. Is it fair? No. But who said sex and relationships are meant to be fair?
On the other hand, asian1981 has gone beyond preference to being a racist asshole. Saying "I like Asian women" is one thing. Saying "Asian women are strong and hot and never let themselves go, and white women are fat and neurotic have cottage cheese thighs" is a much uglier thing. He's making generalizations about the personalities and behaviors of millions of women, based solely on their race and gender. This isn't the first thread where he's brought up this asian vs. white shtick. His obsessive attacks on white women and his idolization of asian women suggest that he really does have something wrong with him.
I whole-heartedly disagree with this. Regardless of how they came to be that way, some people have libidos that are wired in certain ways and they shouldn't be ashamed of them. It's a lot like fetishes, or even sexual orientation. If a gay man is only attracted to men, he isn't "shallow" because he won't date a woman. If a man only gets hard at the sight of a voluptuous BBW, he isn't "a bad person" if he declines to date a rake-thin woman. If a woman just can't get wet thinking about a man that's six inches shorter than her, there's no reason she should be obligated to date a short guy she's just not attracted to. Having preferences and being willing to act on those preferences does not mean "there is something wrong with you." It means you're honest. Is it fair? No. But who said sex and relationships are meant to be fair?
On the other hand, asian1981 has gone beyond preference to being a racist asshole. Saying "I like Asian women" is one thing. Saying "Asian women are strong and hot and never let themselves go, and white women are fat and neurotic have cottage cheese thighs" is a much uglier thing. He's making generalizations about the personalities and behaviors of millions of women, based solely on their race and gender. This isn't the first thread where he's brought up this asian vs. white shtick. His obsessive attacks on white women and his idolization of asian women suggest that he really does have something wrong with him.
68
I second 67's thanks to 65 for responding so well to 44, 48, 51, 56, & 62. 100011010111010001010100011....
Although if we cast silly Collin's silly waffling in the kindest possible light, what it is really saying is just that it's dumb to say to oneself "I don't like Asian women/short men/balding men/chicks who don't wear makeup, so I'm not going to bother with this person asking me out/interested in me, because I know I won't like them." It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it just means you're kind of small minded and stubborn.
But yeah, asian1981 is a racist asshole. The worst extreme of small minded and stubborn, plus seems boring and self-absorbed to boot.
Although if we cast silly Collin's silly waffling in the kindest possible light, what it is really saying is just that it's dumb to say to oneself "I don't like Asian women/short men/balding men/chicks who don't wear makeup, so I'm not going to bother with this person asking me out/interested in me, because I know I won't like them." It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, it just means you're kind of small minded and stubborn.
But yeah, asian1981 is a racist asshole. The worst extreme of small minded and stubborn, plus seems boring and self-absorbed to boot.
69
I don't care what you think of me and my peccadillos, as long as you agree that what Collin wrote is wrong......
" we cast silly Collin's silly waffling in the kindest possible light,"
" I whole-heartedly disagree with this."
"It's a beautiful dream, but that's not how life works."
"It is OK not to date someone for any reason"
" we cast silly Collin's silly waffling in the kindest possible light,"
" I whole-heartedly disagree with this."
"It's a beautiful dream, but that's not how life works."
"It is OK not to date someone for any reason"
70
@65 - In your argument, replace "pigeon-toed" with "hispanic" and see if that doesn't make you cringe. Obviously being hispanic isn't the same thing as being pigeon-toed, but your line of thought would seem to include that distinction, too.
@67 - I'm sorry, but I take offense at the notion that sexual orientation is some how equivalent with someone who says, "I just can't date someone shorter." You're comparing something that's all but confirmed as an ingrained, biological drive to an arbitrary preference.
@68 - First of all, i take issue with the the fact that I've waffled. Read my comments again, without the unregistered commenter, and I'd be happy to hear where you think I've waffled on anything.
You've come up fairly concise summary of what I've been saying, however, I do think that the person who makes such a distinction is a bad person. People who are INTENTIONALLY small-minded are bad people. If that person is unaware of what they're doing, I would say they probably have some wiggle room. I'm shocked that's such a controversial statement.
In fact, I'm shocked at the push back here. When did the frat-boys take over, and no "No Fat Chicks" suddenly became acceptable in society?
@67 - I'm sorry, but I take offense at the notion that sexual orientation is some how equivalent with someone who says, "I just can't date someone shorter." You're comparing something that's all but confirmed as an ingrained, biological drive to an arbitrary preference.
@68 - First of all, i take issue with the the fact that I've waffled. Read my comments again, without the unregistered commenter, and I'd be happy to hear where you think I've waffled on anything.
You've come up fairly concise summary of what I've been saying, however, I do think that the person who makes such a distinction is a bad person. People who are INTENTIONALLY small-minded are bad people. If that person is unaware of what they're doing, I would say they probably have some wiggle room. I'm shocked that's such a controversial statement.
In fact, I'm shocked at the push back here. When did the frat-boys take over, and no "No Fat Chicks" suddenly became acceptable in society?
72
" I'm shocked at the push back here"
You're not shocked, you're just wrong. No one agrees with you and and no one will until we see you fucking someone you find physically unattractive ....what about fist sized, genetically inherited hairy warts on the ass....acceptable or not? I can't wait to see you licking those suckers. Send us the photos.
You're this thread's official roadkill.
You're not shocked, you're just wrong. No one agrees with you and and no one will until we see you fucking someone you find physically unattractive ....what about fist sized, genetically inherited hairy warts on the ass....acceptable or not? I can't wait to see you licking those suckers. Send us the photos.
You're this thread's official roadkill.
73
" no "No Fat Chicks" suddenly became acceptable in society?"
No FUCKING fat chicks. Big difference.
No FUCKING fat chicks. Big difference.
74
"People who are INTENTIONALLY small-minded are bad people"
Hey, I've told you I've slept with white, black, brown people and nearly all the major religions. According to your theory, I deserve a "I'm not a racist, I fucked brown people" t-shirt.
Hey, I've told you I've slept with white, black, brown people and nearly all the major religions. According to your theory, I deserve a "I'm not a racist, I fucked brown people" t-shirt.
76
Dan Savage is a bad person, watch him tell people it's ok not to want to fuck fat people, even if it's in their genes. Watch him tell people it's ok to divorce your wife when she doesn't slim down to your desirable level:
http://tinyurl.com/y6tanaw
http://tinyurl.com/y6tanaw
77
I think we can agree that Collin is a well-meaning idiot and not try to unpack the nonsense further. The internet has enough of that flopping around already.
(BTW, ladies, those women in China, that is you when you hit 45 if you live in America. Sooner if you don't take care of yourself. Carrie Bradshaw wasn't kidding about that mid thirties power flip.)
(BTW, ladies, those women in China, that is you when you hit 45 if you live in America. Sooner if you don't take care of yourself. Carrie Bradshaw wasn't kidding about that mid thirties power flip.)
78
"Obviously being hispanic isn't the same thing as being pigeon-toed"
What about pigeon-toed hispanics?
What about pigeon-toed hispanics?
79
Well meaning? Knee jerk calling people racists because of their sexual habits isn't well meaning.
80
Seldom have I been so glad that my ideal dude is around five foot eight. MORE SHORTIES FOR ME! :D
81
This article is just BS. If white women aren't getting dates in China, it's their own fault and pickyness. If they aren't into Chinese men, then that's cool you like who you like, but don't be surprised that the white guys are going crazy with "yellow fever" while staying there. There are PLENTY of Chinese men who would absolutely LOVE to go out/be with a white woman, it's just as much as a status symbol as a white male is to an azn girl. Especially if the white woman is BEAUTIFUL. Asian men LOVE white women, I'm currently dating a Korean man who explains it as "Asian men love white women because they're different, just like an asian girl is differen to a white girl, a white girl is different to an asian guy. They have big eyes and pretty hair that comes in a lot of colors, white women are beautiful and asian men want to know them". A white woman that takes care of herself and pretty, and likes asian men, could have any choice she wanted in China.
82
I would NOT recommend single Western women to move to Asia as expats if they're not interested in Asian men, especially if they are seeking a life that doesn't just revolve around work.
83
Why would a western man want to date a western woman in China? Give me one reason. The western woman can't compete. They have all the disadvantages: 1) age quickly 2) overweight 3) perpetual chip on their shoulder 4) Entitlement queens
Thank You God for letting me live in China. I never, ever have to date another American woman.
Thank You God for letting me live in China. I never, ever have to date another American woman.
84
foreigners that work in china tend to be better educated, and most chinese are not as educated, a well educated white women therefore will have problems dating specially with language barriers, and the chinese men they want are also more educated, probably proficient in their language and a job paid as foreigners, I am sure a similar wealth difference and education difference chinese guy would not have problem dating white women in western countries either
85
Why would a young white woman work in china looking for social life with white men? everyone want to blend in, white men wanna blend in, no one wants to be seen as alien. But i am sure there is no trouble for white women if they are young to have social life with young white men, but they tend to be older and mostly married. The younger ones probably are poorer with shittier job and are there because they cant get a job in their home countries or are looking for a life in china, in that case blending in and having social life and friends feels better thats why they date chinese women. But if white women are in china and are young and for same reasons and are looking for younger white men to socialize, they are kinda weird.
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