This Thursday—tomorrow night, 8 pm, at the Crocodile—I'll be competing in (AND WINNING THE SHIT OUT OF) the "Drunken Bee," a fundraiser for the King and Snohomish County Regional Spelling Bee. You can probably see the ad somewhere to the right of this post. It features the world's most adorable alcoholic bee. Awww.

The show will be hosted by the always elegant Luke Burbank, and the extremely famous celebrity spellers will include me, comedians Kevin Hyder and Solomon Georgio, Movin' 92.5's Monti, and I Can Haz Cheezburger's Ben Huh. We'll be competing against seven extremely non-famous civilian spellers, chosen from the audience.

That means YOU!

I'm giving away ONE of the seven civilian-speller spots on Slog today. Right now. If you win, you'll get to stand on the stage with me and those other people and out-spell us into oblivion with your giant brain. Fun, right?

All you have to do is submit an ultra-short story or prose poem (50 words or less) about either spelling OR bees. E-mail me your submissions by 3:30 pm today with the subject line "I HAVE A BEE BEARD." The very best one will win a spot in tomorrow night's competition.

Get to it! Clackety clack clack! Bzzzzzzz!