Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, March 23, 2010
Homo High School Principal in Georgia Tells Gay Teenager That He Can't Bring His Boyfriend To Prom
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 8:19 AM
And then last week she changed her mind:
Martin, [a Bleckley County High School] honor student who tutors at-risk elementary and middle school students after school, knew the move would be controversial for the town of about 5,200 residents. At his high school, prom dates from outside counties must be approved in advance, so Martin went to his principal and asked.“At first she said no, Cochran wasn’t ready for it,” he said.
Then last week, school officials said they have no policy in place against it.
“You don’t have the right to say no,” principal Michelle Masters said. “As a principal, I don’t judge him. I’m taught not to judge. I have to push my own beliefs to the background.” She’s just hoping it won’t become an issue in the community and distract from juniors and seniors who have looked forward to the event all school year.
Gee... I wonder what could've happened in the last week or two that might have influenced Principal Masters and the school board's decision to allow Martin—an honor student who tutors at-risk students—to attend prom with his boyfriend.
Whatever it was that inspired Masters to change her mind, I think she should be praised for doing the right thing. I'm digging around on Bleckley County High School's website right now, seeing if there's a fundraiser or something going on that folks outside of Bleckley County can contribute to. I don't think we should send the principal emails or call—no distractions for Bleckley—but it would be great if we could find some way to reward Bleckley for doing the right thing.
5
New round of emails to Constance's school board in progress right now. Look school board members, here's an example of what it looks like to put education first and judgement last.
6
Sunlight is the best disinfectant. As people learn that even in small towns the internet will make a difference. Imagine 10 years ago. They would have told the kid no without even blinking. Nice to keep pushing this Dan!
7
"A sampling of residents Monday drew plenty of objections to Martin’s plan, but few people were willing to give their name."
A quote from the article that shows just how proud the objectionists are of their opinions.
A quote from the article that shows just how proud the objectionists are of their opinions.
8
Thanks for searching for a fundraiser or something. Calling and email would just overwhelm them.
I looked for some sort of community based scholarship. Maybe we can match Ellen's $30,000?
I looked for some sort of community based scholarship. Maybe we can match Ellen's $30,000?
9
Maybe an email from a lot of people at once, so they know it's appreciated but don't have a jammed up inbox? For example, if Dan wrote a letter, and the rest of us wrote to Dan saying "please add my name to your letter", then he sent it a week later?
11
Does anyone else think this whole prom debacle would be eased by 1) simply requiring student or other ID of attendees and 2) selling prom tickets singly and allowing people to go with whoever the hell they want? This was how I recalled the prom experience at my high school. There's less occasion for "distractions" at a school event if the school butts out of the social aspects of the event and just focuses on safety and providing an enjoyable time!
12
Quote from the article, from a fellow student: "“It’s unexpected, but I’m glad. We have to move forward.”
And the children shall lead...
And the children shall lead...
13
Their Fine Arts page is blank.
Sad.
I feel Proud for Derrick's bravery and for Constance for inspiring him.
Sad.
I feel Proud for Derrick's bravery and for Constance for inspiring him.
16
9: I think we should just leave them the fuck alone. Their decision is and should be utterly normal; what merits attention is the bigotry of schoolboards like Constance McMillen's.
17
Yeah, me too, @14. Rosy cheeks, impish grin, glasses and all. Even the hair, except for the center part that was big back then.
19
I like that the prinipal said "I have to push my own beliefs to the background."
Exactly! Nobody's telling you you have to like it, you just have to be fair and equal and do the right thing.
Exactly! Nobody's telling you you have to like it, you just have to be fair and equal and do the right thing.
20
@ 17 - You can't help but be happy for the young person in stories like this, but it's also tinged with a little sadness for having grown up when I did.
23
To clarify - I've emailed the Mississippi school officials again, citing this example of how their situation could have been handled well, pointing out that their own attorneys are synonymously comparing them to segregationists in the 1960's, and reminding them that their idea to cancel prom to avoid a distraction completely backfired.
24
Not a charity, but I would think that one could send money to the Prom Committee care of the school without any additional research.
25
Woo-hoo! Finally something on Slog that doesn't make us look like racist, homophobic, backwoods f*ckwits!
27
@20, true, but we are part of the foundation of today's better world, even if we didn't have the self-assurance of a Constance McMillen or a Derrick Martin, or have at least some confidence that we wouldn't be beaten to a pulp, totally ostracized, or disowned for coming out.
@21, it was funny to see that. At least at my school, puka-shell necklaces were common in the late seventies/early eighties, along with ankhs and akua-bas. I still have mine somewhere.
@21, it was funny to see that. At least at my school, puka-shell necklaces were common in the late seventies/early eighties, along with ankhs and akua-bas. I still have mine somewhere.
28
What about organizing a DonorsChoose.org fundraising drive to benefit schools in Georgia in honor of this decision? Gives a "well done" while allowing people to pick projects of particular interest to them (arts, math, whatever).
30
Thank you for highlighting this, Dan. Georgia public school systems outside of the Atlanta metro area regularly get shat upon in pretty much every way possible. A fundraiser or scholarship fund would be amazing for these kids. Or even just donating books for the library.
31
Well, duh - of course, a necklace such as this not only should, but should ONLY, be worn a) in Hawaii or b) at Re-Bar by feathery blonds whose outfits on the whole suggest Times Square Hustler 1977.
I don't see how that subtext could have been any plainer. Jeez.
I don't see how that subtext could have been any plainer. Jeez.
32
@11: The reason Prom(enade) tickets are sold in pairs is that there's, well, a promenade where the couples have their names announced and walk along an established corridor. I think this is generally where this "distraction" talk is coming from, since going to Prom as a gay couple will absolutely be public and noticeable (as would going as a hetero couple), since "Jane and Jane" or "John and John" will be announced to the assembled crowd, followed by the couple's walk. The paired tickets are more of a logistical matter, simplifying the creation of the promenade list. I'm just waiting for the first poly partners to sue someone over restricting the promenade to couples only.
Of course, the entire history of Prom is rooted in heterosexist social values, so why we're fighting for equality under a broken system (instead of looking to dismantle that system - replace Prom with a generic Spring dance that doesn't elevate male-led heterosexual couples to a special status) is a little beyond me. I have the same question about gay marriage: shouldn't we seek to remove "marriage", an institution with a long religious, heterosexist, enforced-monogamy history, from the law-books entirely? Civil Unions for all: poof! no religious objection (unless Yahweh banned same-sex civil unions 2000 years ago), and the same legal protections for all under the same name. Don't seek nominal equality under a system of institutionalized heterosexism, racism, classism, religious intolerance, etc.; subvert the system itself.
Of course, the entire history of Prom is rooted in heterosexist social values, so why we're fighting for equality under a broken system (instead of looking to dismantle that system - replace Prom with a generic Spring dance that doesn't elevate male-led heterosexual couples to a special status) is a little beyond me. I have the same question about gay marriage: shouldn't we seek to remove "marriage", an institution with a long religious, heterosexist, enforced-monogamy history, from the law-books entirely? Civil Unions for all: poof! no religious objection (unless Yahweh banned same-sex civil unions 2000 years ago), and the same legal protections for all under the same name. Don't seek nominal equality under a system of institutionalized heterosexism, racism, classism, religious intolerance, etc.; subvert the system itself.
34
What a great way to start the day. Someone send the principal a bouquet and some books for the school library. All kids deserve to be included in their schools' academic and social activities.
35
Update on Constance McMillen. The judge ruled the school violated her rights, but they don't have to reinstate prom. Instead, the private prom is required to invite Constance. How is this a victory?
"You did wrong, but you don't have to undo it." ...which it could be, easily. WTF?
"You did wrong, but you don't have to undo it." ...which it could be, easily. WTF?
36
@31, re 27: It was funny to see him wearing that, not that you commented on it. The great wheel of style (or lack thereof) keeps turning. But I assume you were needling Dan.
37
@32- I hadn't though that some schools might still have a real "promenade." My school's prom was just a more formal dance held at a nicer place than the school gym. I basically went stag with 3 other unattached girls and we bought our tickets in pairs just to get a discount.
Surfer style shell or coconut bead necklaces were really popular among guys (bros) and dykes at my high school, and that was circa 2000. Still see lots of that stuff for sale at the malls. It just never goes out of style here. It's AZ though, everyone vacations in CA or Mexico for the beaches and flip flops are fashionable year round. We have beach envy or something.
Surfer style shell or coconut bead necklaces were really popular among guys (bros) and dykes at my high school, and that was circa 2000. Still see lots of that stuff for sale at the malls. It just never goes out of style here. It's AZ though, everyone vacations in CA or Mexico for the beaches and flip flops are fashionable year round. We have beach envy or something.
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