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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Teh Internets Other Spam Catch of the Day: The Lohan Freedom Brush!

Posted by Grant Brissey on Thu, Mar 18, 2010 at 1:22 PM

LOHAN TO LAUNCH
ECO- FRIENDLY INITIATIVE AND TO INTRODUCE ''THE LOHAN GREEN TOOTH BRUSH'' TOMORROW IN MANHATTAN AT PRESS CONFERENCE

LINDSAY LOHAN'S MOTHER DINA LOHAN WILL JOIN ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS IN A MAJOR PRESS CONFERENCE INTRODUCING ONE OF THE FIRST WATER FREE TOOTH BRUSHES IN AMERICA. ''THE AQUA FREEDOM GREEN LOHAN BRUSH'' WILL BE UNVEILED ON AT THE ''GO GREEN EXPO'' ON FRIDAY MARCH 19, 2010 AT 11:30AM AT PIER 92 ON 12th AVENUE & W 55th STREET.THE BRUSH WILL SAVE THE AVERAGE CONSUMER OVER TWO GALLONS OF WATER IN THE BATHROOM A DAY. IT WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR CONSUMERS WORLD WIDE IN MAY DURING MOTHERS DAY WEEK. DINA WILL ALSO UNVEIL A GO GREEN NEW YORK INITIATIVE FOR LOCAL FAMILIES.

In 2006 the US EPA estimated that the average citizen wasted 2 gallons of H2O daily as part of brushing ones teeth and oral hygiene. Today that might amount to 600 million gallons daily!

Over 2 billion people in the world don't have access to sanitary water. The LOHAN FREEDOM BRUSH will provide a healthy alternative as well as contribute to the well being of others in which water conservation is mandatory.

CONTACT STEVE KAMHI
UNITED TREATMENT CENTERS
516-314-6887

Comments (16) RSS

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This is the most useless thing anyone has ever done to "go green."

Posted by doceb on March 18, 2010 at 1:26 PM

That toothbrush has been in her ass, hasn't it?

Posted by Fnarf

on March 18, 2010 at 1:27 PM

Yes, Lohan keeps her toothbrush green by scrubbing her pooter with its Brisstles.

Posted by gloomy gus on March 18, 2010 at 1:38 PM

I'd buy one, but she'd have to fuck me first.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on March 18, 2010 at 1:39 PM

Certain people just do not strike me as great examples of personal hygiene.

Posted by Geni on March 18, 2010 at 2:11 PM

@2 - you do realize you just sold 500 more of the damned things, don't you?

Posted by Geni on March 18, 2010 at 2:11 PM

This makes no goddamn sense. How is the toothbrush going to turn off the running water? Lindsay should stop trying to save the world and concentrate on remaining the tabloid cumdumpster she is.

Posted by wisepunk on March 18, 2010 at 2:17 PM

Does this special toothbrush not require water or something? I mean, that's the only thing that would make sense here... Otherwise, you might as well stick it in your own ass.

Posted by RatGirl on March 18, 2010 at 2:18 PM

I don't foresee this thing selling very Brisskly.

And actually, I'm pretty sure at some point this no-water thing will make the brush get all Brissgusting.

Posted by Baconcat on March 18, 2010 at 2:18 PM

Um, folks, this is Dina's toothbrush, not Lindsey's.

Posted by Fnarf

on March 18, 2010 at 2:37 PM

My teeth just threw up a little in White Oprah's mouth...

Posted by Loonesta on March 18, 2010 at 3:03 PM

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Unite!

Posted by The Amazing Jim

on March 18, 2010 at 3:42 PM

Um. Two gallons a day is complete horseshit. Maybe, MAYBE, if you left the water running full blast the entire time.

I probably don't even use 2 gallons brushing my teeth in an entire month.

Posted by w7ngman

on March 18, 2010 at 4:02 PM

I have serious hygiene concerns about a 'water free tooth brush'

Posted by yourmom.com on March 18, 2010 at 4:28 PM

@7, same argument our moms used to make about cleaning our plates and the starving children in China.

And BC/GG are having way too much fun with the Grant Brissey puns. I'm thinking they need to donate $1 for each one they make to some global clean-water fund, or something.

Posted by rob!