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News & ArtsWednesday, March 17, 2010
Homo SL Letter of the Day: Giving Closeted Gay Teenagers Hope
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Mar 17, 2010 at 4:44 PM
Hey, Dan, I'm both a huge fan of yours and an 19-year-old lesbian college student. As a favor to my (fundamentalist) parents, I'm living at home and going to a school nearby to save them money. I'm terrifed to come out to my parents, especially my bat-shit crazy dad, who threatened to kick me out of the house for watching the Wanda Sykes Show on a Sunday. When I was in middle school, I was gay-bashed and raped, and then exercised my right to choose out of desperation. I've never told anyone in my family for fear of being shunned due to both the abortion and the gay thing. I'm plotting to leave the state as soon as financially possible, but it looks like that'll take an unbearable amount of time.I'm writing to thank you for all that you do for the LGBT community in general and the queer youth of America in particular, especially in bringing attention to avenging Constance McMillen's prom. Not enough attention is payed to correcting anti-gay prejudice when it is directed at teenagers both intentionally and intentionally, in school, at home, or elsewhere. Constance isn't the only young adult receiving shit about her sexual orientation, but she is one of the few who have been brave enough to not only shine light on her ordeal but to do so in a way that can bring hope to this girl in NorCal, who envies her courage and sympathizes with her pain.
Lesbian Over Very Excesive Riddicule
Thanks for the kind note, LOVER, and please hang in there.
As for everyone else: I've been hearing from closeted gay kids all over the country who are watching the national response to Constance McMillen's case—the support Constance is getting, the grief the Itawamba County School Board is getting—and it's filling them with hope. The ACLU's request for an injunction that would prevent the school board from canceling prom will be heard by a judge in Mississippi on Monday. In the meantime, folks, keep those emails and phone calls coming. Those numbers and email addresses once again:
Superintendent Teresa McNeece
tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us
phone (662) 862-2159 Ext. 14
fax (662) 862-4713Principal Trae Wiygul
twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms.us
(662) 862-3104
Be respectful, per Constance's request, but let 'em hear from you. Then join the Facebook group "Let Constance Take Her Girlfriend to Prom" by clicking here. Then make a tax-deductible donation to support Constance's ACLU LGBT Project team by clicking here.
1
Yes, harass this poor school board for doing their moral duty, that'll get your point across. Homosexual activists only want to punish those who believe contrary to their own sick depraved viewpoint, which is why they frightened so many into voting to approve R-71.
2
Being a teenager sucks donkey dick even under the best circumstances. The good news is that, while it seems to go on for ever and ever, it's really only an extremely small blip in the big picture.
3
I'll bet LOVER could get a part-time job, save up to move, and transfer to another school. Student loans are still easy to get and are at the lowest interest rate in years. A lot of people - even that young - put themselves through school that way. The issue of doing her parents "a favor" by living at home to attend a less expensive school then becomes a non-issue. She may be in some debt when done, but it's the best kind of debt - and based on her email, SO worth getting away from her "bat-shit crazy" father and intolerant household.
Signed, a girl who worked part-time while attending community college and moved from a small rural town to Seattle at age 19.
Signed, a girl who worked part-time while attending community college and moved from a small rural town to Seattle at age 19.
4
The third leading cause of death for young people is suicide. We as a society must let young people know they are valued and loved. Yes, LOVER, we love you and we value you and we know your pain and we know your hopes and dreams. Someday you will be free from a family that doesn't show they love you enough, or fears for you to the point of suffocation. But you are loved and you are valued and someday you can make your way with a family you've made for yourself. You can and will have happiness. Be strong. Your day will come.
5
Student fucking loans. Attend an instate public school, borrow as much as you can, work for the rest, and get the fuck out of your crazy ass parents house. With the generous payment plans the good old government offers it will be small price to pay to lez the shit out of college girls.
6
Dad may be bat-shit crazy but evidently his money spends just as good as anyone else's...
LOVER is a 19 year old adult deceiving and mooching off her parents.
Some stories don't have any heroes.
LOVER is a 19 year old adult deceiving and mooching off her parents.
Some stories don't have any heroes.
8
LOVER, you are doing this the hard way.
You are saving yourself lots of money by living with your parents (and I'm guessing they are paying the tuition?). But you are putting yourself through 4 years of misery in trade. I stayed in the closet until I was 24. It was mental torture. One of my few serious regrets 20+ years later is that I didn't come out sooner.
Is it really worth it?
You might want to explore other ways of putting yourself through college. Loans, grants, whatever. You'll be a thousand times happier if you can get yourself out from under your parents' thumb a few years earlier.
You are saving yourself lots of money by living with your parents (and I'm guessing they are paying the tuition?). But you are putting yourself through 4 years of misery in trade. I stayed in the closet until I was 24. It was mental torture. One of my few serious regrets 20+ years later is that I didn't come out sooner.
Is it really worth it?
You might want to explore other ways of putting yourself through college. Loans, grants, whatever. You'll be a thousand times happier if you can get yourself out from under your parents' thumb a few years earlier.
9
"As a favor to my (fundamentalist) parents, I'm living at home and going to a school nearby to save them money."
?!?!
Sounds like it would be more accurate to say "As a favor to me my parents are letting me continue to live at home while they pay for my education."
Yeah it sucks, but guess what, your selling out by choice. Pay your own bills and live where you want without worrying about what your family may think. Here's the agreement you have entered into: I'll sit in the closet and lie about who I am as long as they are willing to pay my bills because its more important to me to get what I want now, at their expense, then to be open and honest, and possibly have to pay my own way.
Sorry shitty stuff happened to you, but gee... your telling lies for money... That's gonna earn you some pretty crap karma.
?!?!
Sounds like it would be more accurate to say "As a favor to me my parents are letting me continue to live at home while they pay for my education."
Yeah it sucks, but guess what, your selling out by choice. Pay your own bills and live where you want without worrying about what your family may think. Here's the agreement you have entered into: I'll sit in the closet and lie about who I am as long as they are willing to pay my bills because its more important to me to get what I want now, at their expense, then to be open and honest, and possibly have to pay my own way.
Sorry shitty stuff happened to you, but gee... your telling lies for money... That's gonna earn you some pretty crap karma.
10
Oh, back off on the guilt trip, @9. Yeah, she's selling her soul, but it's not really all that different from what most people who work for a living do every day. Look at it as good preparation for the real world.
11
God, can we give the poor kid a break? She's been bashed, raped, forced to have an abortion, her parents are clearly crazy. She probably lives in a small town, has no money and is trying to get herself an education so she can do something with her fucking life. What would you people have her do? Leave in the middle of her year, move to a new town, try to find a job and try to get into a new school all with no money? If you ask me her parents owe her at least her education after what she's been through, and once she has it she'll be in a far better position to find work and build a life far, far away from them.
12
Parents have responsibilities to, not just rights over their children. These folks have failed to keep their daughter safe and the father obviously begrudges her the tertiary education or training that will allow her to become independent of him. I hope LOVER can find some other way of financing her schooling and get away from her awful family.
13
@11 But I think she is missing a chance to overcome that. College is a great place to figure out your sense of self in terms of sex, friends, relationships, etc. So yes, she should leave, maybe to the same school, but regardless to a place of her own where she can do what she wants to do. If it means a new school, eh, seems like a small price to pay for 4 years of self discovery.
14
@ 1:
DID YOU EVER GET RAPED FOR BEING A BIGOT??
No. So if you'd please so be kind to GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A KNIFE AND LEAVE THE REST OF US THE HELL ALONE.
Thanks!
DID YOU EVER GET RAPED FOR BEING A BIGOT??
No. So if you'd please so be kind to GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A KNIFE AND LEAVE THE REST OF US THE HELL ALONE.
Thanks!
20
19 is a great age to establish your independence and stand on your own two feet. My parents are really conservative and wanted me to live at home for college and then arrange a marriage for me (we're from central Asia). I very respectfully told them "no thank you" and moved out and to college when I was 17. I worked, took out student loans, and got lucky with a small scholarship. They cried and we fought and for a long time our relationship was very strained but they now respect me as an adult even though they don't agree with my decisions. College was a fantastic place to learn about a different way of life and to find out who I am. I am a happy person now (gainfully employed and married to someone I dated and even - gasp - lived with before we got married). If I had stayed at home for college I would never have grown as much.
I know it's really hard to leave the only world you've known, LOVER, and it might mean being estranged from your family for a while (for ever?) but it's better than being estranged from the person you have yet to become
I know it's really hard to leave the only world you've known, LOVER, and it might mean being estranged from your family for a while (for ever?) but it's better than being estranged from the person you have yet to become
21
Dan, I hope you've sent at least a few personal responses to the gay kids that are emailing you right now. Just think about how absolutely JAZZED a gay kid would be to get just a quick personal reply from you.
Whether you want to be or not, it sounds like you're kind of a god to a lot of GLBT youth. Jeez, did you ever think?
Whether you want to be or not, it sounds like you're kind of a god to a lot of GLBT youth. Jeez, did you ever think?
22
@Baconcat
Oh! Oh! That mean if I participate in sinful words, you're being GANG-raped?
Okay, okay, I hope you become a priest, and when you try to fondle a child, you get hauled into prison and become some big, burly guy named Marcy's new "special friend".
And answer to the name of Twinkledust.
Oh! Oh! That mean if I participate in sinful words, you're being GANG-raped?
Okay, okay, I hope you become a priest, and when you try to fondle a child, you get hauled into prison and become some big, burly guy named Marcy's new "special friend".
And answer to the name of Twinkledust.
23
Being a gay closeted teen was probably the worst time of my life. Just remember that it does get better. Hang in there.
24
Baconcat? Is that really you? You don't sound yourself. Does the LC team have a cyber war division?
25
I guess Baconcat's having a slow Wednesday.... so I think in your honor, it's time for hump-night down at the bars. I'll think of you while I'm lezzing the fuck outta some, hum, sorry, I mean while I'm knocking back a few beers.
27
student loans arent that bad these days. you can pay as little as 50$ a month with some of them...granted that way you'll be paid off right around the time you have to pay for your funeral, but its nice to know if you cant finda job right away. just stick to federal loans. lower interest rates and fewer instances of people breaking your legs
28
Bravo, Baconcat. You forget one thing: that nifty little icon Loveschild uses as her/his avatar shows a mother, a father, a son, and a daughter.
I FAIL TO SEE HOW CORGIS FIT INTO TRADITIONAL ALL-AMERICAN GOD-FEARING FAMILIES.
I FAIL TO SEE HOW CORGIS FIT INTO TRADITIONAL ALL-AMERICAN GOD-FEARING FAMILIES.
31
LOVER, you should check to see if your school has an GLBT advocate group that can offer you assistance and possibly housing. Also check with the GLBT National Help Center or any other major GLBT organizations that can put you in touch with local GLBT communities for additional assistance.
You are selling yourself out and deceiving your parents which will probably not end happily for anyone. Your parents may resent you more for lying to them than it would be worth. If you do the right thing now and your parents still hold a grudge, you can walk away with the knowledge that you were the better person and get on with your life.
Good luck.
You are selling yourself out and deceiving your parents which will probably not end happily for anyone. Your parents may resent you more for lying to them than it would be worth. If you do the right thing now and your parents still hold a grudge, you can walk away with the knowledge that you were the better person and get on with your life.
Good luck.
32
Lover
If you ever feel overwhelmed and need someone to talk to...Call The Trevor Project hotline.
1-888-488-7386
They have someone you can talk to 24 hours a day
If you ever feel overwhelmed and need someone to talk to...Call The Trevor Project hotline.
1-888-488-7386
They have someone you can talk to 24 hours a day
33
no Baconcat you're an attention seeking hate spewing whore who comes to this site to satisfy your lust for demeaning others. There is no other reason you would try to preach to the un-preachable.
35
@33: I hate it when people say that!
You'll be in my prayers tonight, and not the good ones either. The ones I save for abortion-seekers, catholics, homosexuals, women and jews.
You'll be in my prayers tonight, and not the good ones either. The ones I save for abortion-seekers, catholics, homosexuals, women and jews.
38
@37: That proves you don't understand the word of the LORD almighty.
Please, do not approach me. Your imminent immolation by the immaculate immortal would certainly immiserate me. If only for the odors and ash you are sure to emit.
Please, do not approach me. Your imminent immolation by the immaculate immortal would certainly immiserate me. If only for the odors and ash you are sure to emit.
40
@ LOVER I'm so glad you wrote and that Dan posted your letter. It probably seems like forever until you can be yourself openly, but you'll get there.
Do you know about the Pride Foundation? They give full scholarships to LGBT students in your situation. You should check them out if you haven't already. http://www.pridefoundation.org/
Did you see that the ACLU's FB page for Constance now has over 343,000 fans? Just wow.
Do you know about the Pride Foundation? They give full scholarships to LGBT students in your situation. You should check them out if you haven't already. http://www.pridefoundation.org/
Did you see that the ACLU's FB page for Constance now has over 343,000 fans? Just wow.
42
Hey, all, LOVER here, and thanks a bunch for your (mostly...) supportive comments. And to clarify the 'favor' statement... I'm from a BIG evangelical family. I'm the middle of 5 kids, and so money's pretty tight. My brother is at an expensive state school, my mom's still paying off her student loans, my dad's business just failed due to the economy and my youngest sister recently came down with a severe chronic illness. My "favor" to my family is living at home and going to community college, helping care for my ill sister and working (minimum wage, the only place in the county that was hiring at the time) every day that I'm not in school. I'm paying for a car (synonymous with soon-to-be-FREEDOM) and car insurance and all of my other expenses, excluding rent and food. I'm saving every spare penny, and hope to transfer to a community college in Seattle (I don't have enough credits to transfer to a public school, and private schools are too expensive) after this coming fall semester. My mom won't co-sign for a student loan (and yes, I tried getting one alone, but was denied). It's a work in progress.
44
@42/Lover
Have you tried explaining to the student loan people that your mother won't sign for your loans? If not, you should try it. I did something similar in that I had to explain to the student loan people that my father would not assist me in any way in getting an eduction, and as such i didn't want them to consider his income (whatever it; I don't know) in regards to my student loans.
Have you tried explaining to the student loan people that your mother won't sign for your loans? If not, you should try it. I did something similar in that I had to explain to the student loan people that my father would not assist me in any way in getting an eduction, and as such i didn't want them to consider his income (whatever it; I don't know) in regards to my student loans.
47
@7 -- Don't worry, that freaked me out at first, too.
@30 -- Thanks a lot, I think cracking up at that knocked a couple of years off of my life.
@30 -- Thanks a lot, I think cracking up at that knocked a couple of years off of my life.
48
Dear Lover,
Bless you for trying to be the best daughter you can in such difficult circumstances. I am so sorry for all you have been through.
Have you tried the Point Foundation: www.pointfoundation.org ? And, the HRC also maintains a list of scholarships: http://www.hrc.org/issues/youth_and_camp….
I wish you joy, peace and success. Here's a virtual mom hug, too. You do us proud. I hope to read you in the future.
Best wishes,
k
Bless you for trying to be the best daughter you can in such difficult circumstances. I am so sorry for all you have been through.
Have you tried the Point Foundation: www.pointfoundation.org ? And, the HRC also maintains a list of scholarships: http://www.hrc.org/issues/youth_and_camp….
I wish you joy, peace and success. Here's a virtual mom hug, too. You do us proud. I hope to read you in the future.
Best wishes,
k
49
Think of how much you are accomplishing with the shackles you have on, and how much you'll be able to do once you are free. Way to go Lover! Life will get better and it will be because you made it so, rather than imaginary cloud man everyone is delusional about. I know you are gonna have a blast and will be an unstoppable woman. Best of luck girl! xoxo from New York
50
You know, over at BME they do a yearly scholarship for one of their members. I'd certainly be willing to donate a few dollars for a worthy young LGBT person to put towards their education once a year.
51
Is there some sort of Underground Railroad to help these kids? Somewhere to sign up to let them live in your house for a while while they're going to school or something?
52
@ 51
If there were, you know it'd get nasty quick fast and in a hurry on Fox. I can see it now: "Faggot kids hiding in the basements of faggot adults. Are they living next door to you? If you think 'maybe', get ready to throw some stones!"
Oh, but if only, that'd be AMAZING.
If there were, you know it'd get nasty quick fast and in a hurry on Fox. I can see it now: "Faggot kids hiding in the basements of faggot adults. Are they living next door to you? If you think 'maybe', get ready to throw some stones!"
Oh, but if only, that'd be AMAZING.
54
@52 You're assuming that faggot adults would be hiding the kids. This isn't a faggot-only problem. Didn't whites hide a lot of the blacks in the Underground Railroad?
55
@51, and of course, the whole point is that the kids wouldn't have to hide. If the problem is that they can't afford to live elsewhere, then the UR gives them a place to live openly.
56
Yes, ideally it would be safe boarding for LGBT youth until they can get on their feet, provided by responsible and well-intentioned adults. I was pointing out how it could be seen from the outside (far far right). But fuck 'em. UR for fleeing gay teens is an awesome idea. Kudos. They're the reason it's needed, so let's get crackin'
:)
:)
57
All my best LOVER, good luck. I would urge you though to take a long hard look at your options, educationally. I understand the wish for a higher education, but are you absolutely sure that’s impossible without your parents? Even if you have to take out loans, work part-time and take more years to finish, it hardly sounds like it could be worse than 4 years in the closet of a fundamentalist family, living in terror that they find out and kick you out. Isn’t it better to leave on your own terms? There are groups who give scholarships specifically to GLBT teens:
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/youth/tp…
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/youth/tp…
59
LOVER,
You might also want to look into microloans/microfinancing. I remember hearing about a US website that does do these for goals like educational programs. (Many microloan programs are to help people in developing countries start small businesses or increase their agricultural output, and many in the US are also for small business, but I do recall hearing about people getting educational loans.)
You might also want to look into microloans/microfinancing. I remember hearing about a US website that does do these for goals like educational programs. (Many microloan programs are to help people in developing countries start small businesses or increase their agricultural output, and many in the US are also for small business, but I do recall hearing about people getting educational loans.)
60
@42 Was it a federal one through direct loans? The government now lends directly avoiding the annoying middleman banks!
61
@ LOVER (42 and 52): Other people have given some great advice, so I'll just add my admiration and respect for you for accomplishing so much under exceptionally difficult circumstances and with such aplomb. There's a lot of support for LGBT youth out there, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Good luck with everything! And, when you're done with school and out of there a few years from now, send Dan an update--I'm sure most Sloggers would love to hear how everything turns out for you. Also, loved your description of the GLBT UR.
@Baconcat: You crack me up absolutely. I was laughing through most of your comments, but 35 and 38 were just brilliant. Also, JESUSWOLF. (Not sure you're out-LCing LC, though. You're being too articulate.)
@Baconcat: You crack me up absolutely. I was laughing through most of your comments, but 35 and 38 were just brilliant. Also, JESUSWOLF. (Not sure you're out-LCing LC, though. You're being too articulate.)
62
Not reading comments fail for me. I didn't notice LOVER had written to further explain her situation. Sounds like you're doing about everything you can. I would still look into the LGBT-centric scholarship programs though. Even if you don't qualify they may have information useful to you. You are not, by any stretch of the imagination. the only LGBT closeted teen who wants to be both true to themselves AND get an education.
Oh and in case you don't know Baconcat is joking.
Oh and in case you don't know Baconcat is joking.
64
Right now LOVER doesn't think it's financially possible for her to move out of state. That might not mean JUST for college. That might mean that if she left her parents home, right now, at 19, she might be able to afford the basics she needs to survive. Becoming completely financially independent from one's parents at 19 is something that's easier said than done. Lay off of her for letting her parents pay for college!
65
@Baconcat. Mind if I name my band Jesuswolf? Or is a name that awesome already taken?
Or maybe Baconcat and Jesuswolf. Kind of a Simon and Garfunkel kind of feeling.
Or maybe Baconcat and Jesuswolf. Kind of a Simon and Garfunkel kind of feeling.
66
@65: I think it's free, a quick google search turned up nothin'!
Jesuswolf better rock, AND IT BETTER ROCK HARD.
Jesuswolf better rock, AND IT BETTER ROCK HARD.
67
I have not read all the comments but for those people suggesting students loans. Federal Student loans (the only ones that do not require a good credit history) would not allow her to apply by herself because she is still considered a dependent on her parents. She would have to wait until she is over 21 or 24 i forget which to be able to receive the loans in her name only.
70
@67 You can fill out a form claiming yourself as independent. 24 is when you're automatically considered that, but it's not unavailable for people younger.
71
@Baconcat - of COURSE Jesuswolf shall rock. It shall rock the hardest of all.
Now off to find some great musicians to help me with this noble endeavor. To live up to the name, they will need to be world-class.
Now off to find some great musicians to help me with this noble endeavor. To live up to the name, they will need to be world-class.
72
You sound like a very intelligent and hard-working person, LOVER. I sympathize with your predicament. As a 19-year-old, I became independent of my parents by working two jobs to get through college. Of course, this was in the midwest, where living is quite a bit cheaper, and I still was barely getting by in a little studio apt. I was also able to get student loans. If you want my advice, you might apply to a range of schools (including UW or Wazoo), look into more financial assistance programs (lots of really good advice above), get into an area of study that you enjoy and that has future job options, forget about hobbies for a while (except reading and making dinner at home with friends), and get rid of the car to save money (you can get around Seattle or a small town just fine, you're paying for a sense of freedom you can't feel otherwise right now).
Your education should not be reliant on emotional blackmail from your family. You can be there for them, and your sister, while taking care of yourself (which means getting your freedom). Be strong!
Your education should not be reliant on emotional blackmail from your family. You can be there for them, and your sister, while taking care of yourself (which means getting your freedom). Be strong!
74
well the world used to be run by majoritys, not minoritys. that leg lickin missisppi cunt fucked off the prom to get her 15 minutes , well shes had them . lesbians are cool only if i get to watch and jerk off! i bet the kids at her school are gonna kIck her ass for this shit, and her trailer trash ass will sue for and get a bag of money which is the ultimate point of this. i agree with the school board , they did the only thing they could do to stand up for them selves with all this gay propaganda take over shit. you faggots are more annoying than the fucking jews. you can write all you want about your feelings and rights , but we cant cant speak about our feelings about how your gay shit makes us want to puke, and our right to be offended by your repulsive behavior why? you know the answer america, you know who's been fighting it. you listened to these special interest groups about how your thinking has to be changed . those racist , biggoted groups you were taught to ignore will be your only hope in the future. and when the time comes theyare gonna laugh in your faces when the faggots ,niggers ,and jews come to clean you out, take your children, and assets away ,and say "we told you what we were gonna do" , "the fundamental changing of the way america works" sound familiar? good luck pc compliant american . you're fucked!
75
I am very concerned by those who are casually recommending that LOVER take out student loans. Such loans should be handled like raw sewage--infrequently and carefully. Student loans do NOT go away in bankruptcies, they do NOT have a statute of limitations, and The Man can garnish your wages for unpaid student loans WITHOUT a court order. They will follow you to the grave, and even Social Security Disability checks can be garnished to pay for defaulted student loans. In other words, they are worse than any other type of loan because consumer protection laws do not apply to them.
As a middle-aged, college-educated adult, if I had just one piece of advice to offer a teenager or young adult, it would be to avoid student loans as much as possible. LOVER, if you're reading, please check out the horror stories on StudentLoanJustice.org before you go anywhere near a student loan.
As a middle-aged, college-educated adult, if I had just one piece of advice to offer a teenager or young adult, it would be to avoid student loans as much as possible. LOVER, if you're reading, please check out the horror stories on StudentLoanJustice.org before you go anywhere near a student loan.
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