No Better Friend: Joe Biden continues talking up Israel on his trip to the Middle East.
Based On Experience, I'd Say No: Can Democrats pass health care by Obama's deadline?
Yes, That Sounds About Right: Mayor McGinn says new police chief should be effective and efficient.
BFFs: Afghanistan, Pakistan pledge cooperation.
What Would Falwell Say About That? Aftershocks rock Chile on inauguration day.
Iraq Vote: Maliki's in the lead.
Recovery? Foreclosure filings are now climbing at the lowest they've been in four years.
Making Seattle Schools Look Good: Due to budget shortfall, half of Kansas City's public schools are closing.
Wait, Frozen Taquitos Could Be Bad for You? The salmonella recall widens.
A Massa Coverup? Pelosi's office might have heard complaints against that frackin' douchebag way back in October.
Feds Raid Alleged Illicit Weight Loss Scam: A Port Angeles naturopathic doctor is at the center of an investigation.
Protesting You Protesting Us: Japanese fishmongers protest EU bans of Atlantic bluefin tuna.
Google Corey Haim Truth: Corey Feldman and Corey Haim's agent don't believe that Corey Haim died of a drug overdose.
Can You Help? Slog tipper Karen wants you to take a look at this story in the Seattle Times, about a statistician refugee from Iraq who was denied a job because he's Muslim. Karen says, " It's like we're trying to create the kind of ill will that turns people to terrorism. I really want people to see this story because I hope somebody will offer him a job that can begin to turn things around for this family." Any non-jackasses out there need a good statistician?
And now, your Daily Muppet: