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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sex Remember How Your Old Airport Parking Spot Would Never Give You a Blowjob?

Posted by Lindy West on Thu, Mar 11, 2010 at 4:01 PM

But then if it did, all of a sudden it was all callin' you all the time? All needy? All cryin' and stuff? All, "Don't park in any other spots but me!" and "Buy me jewelry!" and "I'm pregnant with your car-baby because I was only pretending to be on birth control so that you would never leave me!!!"

Not WallyPark. Wallypark will handle your bag and massage your knob and taxi into your hangar. No strings attached. Just casual sex. With a parking spot. By the airport. WallyPark.

Thanks to Tom for the hot, sexy tip.

Comments (8) RSS

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sometimes benefits are just benefits......

Posted by spoiler alert on March 11, 2010 at 4:03 PM

To me, "airport parking at its absolute finest" is AT THE AIRPORT.

Posted by Free Lunch on March 11, 2010 at 4:06 PM

Call me naive, but I didn't understand a single bit of the slang here. I think I get "check-in/check-out", but what on Earth is a "secured valet"?

Posted by Dougsf on March 11, 2010 at 4:08 PM

I don't know if you guys have Super Shuttle there, but it's the greatest. I haven't gone to the airport any other way in years.

No blow-job, though.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on March 11, 2010 at 4:16 PM

My light rail won't give me one, but it only costs $2 to get to the airport ...

Plus, bonus points, I don't get wet.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on March 11, 2010 at 4:42 PM

Don't be stupid, Lindy. Obviously the "benefits" don't come from the parking space itself. WallyPark just trying to say they're going to buy you a whore and you're acting all obtuse and childish about it.

Hookers prevent child rape. I learned that from Michael Keaton in Night Shift. Thanks, WallyPark. Boo, Lindy.

I guess they should just change their slogan to "Don't want a whore? Fine. Park at Diamond."

Posted by elenchos on March 11, 2010 at 4:51 PM

Is WallyPark's mascot Marty Masseuse?

Sorry.

Posted by Dougsf on March 11, 2010 at 6:07 PM

@4: Another example of Seattle's utter lameness. Unlike virtually every other city in the country, Super Shuttle here costs almost as much as a cab. Hell, I can get a Lincoln Town Car to take me to the airport for not much more than Super Shuttle. Not sure if it has to do with Port of Seattle's rules or what, but the pricing makes SS the option of last resort for me (well after the bus and now light rail).

Posted by gnossos on March 11, 2010 at 9:59 PM