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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Real Men Marry Women

Posted by on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 at 12:54 PM

The original is here—and now the parodies are coming.

realmenmarrywomen.jpg

"Oh, the perils of Photoshop and a Saturday morning with nothing to do," says inspired Photoshopper Rob Tisinai. Via JoeMyGod.

 

Comments (49) RSS

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Hyzenthlayk9 1
Rob Tisinai is one of my heroes - along with Rachel Maddow, and you Dan.
Posted by Hyzenthlayk9 http://oystermind.blogspot.com/ on February 20, 2010 at 1:01 PM
2
I love that the photoshopper didn't change the hands at all, so now those guys all have pretty maroon/purple finger nail polish. :D
Posted by Phelix on February 20, 2010 at 1:04 PM
gloomy gus 3
Chaz Bono would be a nice touch, too.
Posted by gloomy gus on February 20, 2010 at 1:30 PM
4
The next bumper sticker: "Real Christians Marry Multiple Women"
Posted by Happy Fun Ball on February 20, 2010 at 2:12 PM
balderdash 5
Actually those hands look entirely appropriate on P-Benny. He's such a fashion victim, and I think the color will really go with his sparkly red shoes.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on February 20, 2010 at 2:27 PM
Timmytee 6
Pope Razi I recognize--who are the other two?
Posted by Timmytee on February 20, 2010 at 2:36 PM
7
#6 - first is Larry Craig, second is Ted Haggard.
Posted by catsnbanjos on February 20, 2010 at 3:00 PM
Mattini 8
I wonder where the original sign-holder is from. Obviously it's a knock against gay marriage, but it also connotes that a heterosexual man needs to make an honest woman out of whomever he's boinking. There are multiple levels of dictating how to live one's personal life at play here.

Funny parodies.
Posted by Mattini on February 20, 2010 at 3:08 PM
very bad homo 9
Good to have you back. There are only so many posts I can handle about smoking in parks.
Posted by very bad homo on February 20, 2010 at 3:28 PM
markvz 10
Real men's men don't need anonymous blumpkins in airport restrooms.
Posted by markvz on February 20, 2010 at 3:37 PM
11
Obviously fugly gal hit a nerve with you girls....
Posted by Real Men don't piss themselves or obsess over bumper sticker on February 20, 2010 at 3:49 PM
venomlash 12
@11: Real men don't demean the jokes of others just because they don't have the wit to come up with them themselves.
Posted by venomlash on February 20, 2010 at 3:53 PM
13
12
as you say.
Posted by Rubber on February 20, 2010 at 3:55 PM
14
What,
the bumper sticker?

Are They Still Upset About THAT?
Posted by Buttsore on February 20, 2010 at 3:57 PM
Sargon Bighorn 15
I've had sex with all three of those "Men" and I'm still more of a lady then you'll ever be!
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on February 20, 2010 at 4:02 PM
16
Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a "real" woman?
Posted by mischiefmanager on February 20, 2010 at 5:06 PM
17

Real Men Marry Women
But Bad Men Go Everywhere!

...mmm...have to work on it a little bit....

Posted by Direct Male on February 20, 2010 at 5:40 PM
18
you'll be happy that I posted this http://wakingupnow.com/blog/real-men-mar… on andrew breitbart's facebook page...
Posted by cay on February 20, 2010 at 6:17 PM
19
Mocking two homosexuals and a Catholic.
What are you trying to say, Dan?
Posted by autophobia on February 20, 2010 at 6:19 PM
20
These photos only confirm what I've long suspected ... The pope is not a REAL man ...
Posted by knockitoff on February 20, 2010 at 6:19 PM
COMTE 21
@11:

You're such a silly boy. Of course real men piss themselves! (skip ahead to 4:40 and you'll see what I mean).
Posted by COMTE http://www.chriscomte.com on February 20, 2010 at 6:58 PM
22
In the good old days, folks at CPAC liked to joke that gay was an acronym for "got AIDS yet." One year, Paul Cameron got on stage and said it may became necessary to put gay men in concentration camps. Nowadays, the best they have is silly bumper stickers? I'm disappointed in the degeneration of right-wing homophobia. Hell, this year they even let GOProud attend. What's the world coming too?
Posted by Joe Glibmoron on February 20, 2010 at 8:35 PM
bengermanj 23
conservatives long for the good old days, progressives know such days never existed.
Posted by bengermanj http://facebook.com/bengermanj on February 20, 2010 at 9:54 PM
blackhook 24
No matter what the cause, please don't make me look at Pope Rat, or even think about the freak.

The fucking weirdo represents all that is pompous, oily, smelly & just plain wrong about organized religion.
Posted by blackhook on February 21, 2010 at 1:47 AM
25
Dan Savage in Salon:

"... I had the flu in a big way.

"My plan? Get close enough to Bauer to give him the flu, which, if I am successful, will lay him flat just before the New Hampshire primary. I would go to Bauer's campaign office and cough on everything -- phones and pens, staplers and staffers. I even hatched a plan to infect the candidate himself. I would keep the pen in my mouth until Bauer dropped by his offices to rally the troops. And when he did, I would approach him and ask for his autograph, handing him the pen from my flu-virus incubating mouth."

"...my sinuses were running like an open tap, so I probably didn't need the pizza. And, anyway, I have work to do.

"I went from doorknob to doorknob. They were filthy, no doubt, but there wasn't time to find a rag to spit on. My immune system wasn't all it should be -- I was in the grip of the worst flu I had ever had -- but I was on a mission. If for some reason I didn't manage to get a pen from my mouth to Gary's hands, I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could, and hopefully one of them would infect the candidate.

"So, much as it pains me to confirm a hateful stereotype of gay men -- we will put anything in our mouths -- I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door. When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards. Then I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack."
Posted by Young and Foolish....or was it Malicious and Disgusting? on February 21, 2010 at 4:58 AM
26
Dan,
the guy in the video described the 'spreading mucus' stunt as "disgusting".

Was he wrong?

"I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack...."

"When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards."

"I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door."

"I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could"

Was it disgusting, Dan?

Is the guy in the video right?
Posted by exactly how old were you? on February 21, 2010 at 5:02 AM
27
more Danny:

"Waiting for Gary, I took my pen out of my pocket and put it in my mouth. This was it, my one shot. I chewed the pen, cracking the plastic shaft. I turned the pen around and chewed on the tip, cracking that end, too. Gary's remarks were mercifully brief, and as he stepped away from the podium, I stepped toward him, holding my photograph.

"This is my son," I said. "Will you autograph it?" Bauer gave me an blank look. I needed to give him a little more. "I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."

"He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.

"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."

"He took the picture, and then I pulled the pen out of my mouth and handed it to him. Score! My bodily fluids -- flu bugs and all -- were all over his hand! He grabbed a poster and scribbled on it to get the ink flowing, then signed the picture. He handed me my pen, and started to walk toward his van. I saw him run a finger under his nose. Perfect."
Posted by "This is my son," I said. on February 21, 2010 at 5:09 AM
28
I stepped toward him, holding my photograph.

"This is my son," I said.

"Will you autograph it?"

"I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."

He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.

"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."

Gary thought it was wonderful your son's mother didn't abort him.
What a sleazy bastard Gary is-
Right Dan.....
Posted by "Good for you,"Gary said,"that's wonderful." was Gary wrong? on February 21, 2010 at 5:14 AM
29
Papal smear!
Posted by Ivan on February 21, 2010 at 6:22 AM
30
@25-28

sorry 'bout that, girls-

wrong thread...
Posted by ....must....have....more....coffee...... on February 21, 2010 at 6:31 AM
MythicFox 31
@25-28 Yes, yes, we get the point. You're 12 and they don't show cartoons on Sunday mornings like they used to. Cry me a river.
Posted by MythicFox on February 21, 2010 at 6:35 AM
cheerio 32
It looks weird seeing the woman's hands hands juxtaposed against the photoshopped blokes...
Posted by cheerio on February 21, 2010 at 9:07 AM
Tomec 33
All this reminds me of the poster being carried in the Seattle gay protest last year. "If I can't marry the man I love, I'll marry YOUR daughter"!
Posted by Tomec http://www.GayTalkRadio.org on February 21, 2010 at 9:41 AM
34
stop the spread of AIDS by 2015? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/health…
Posted by not to detract from usual choir preaching nonsense but on February 21, 2010 at 9:46 AM
35
@ 29

For the win.
Posted by evantagonist on February 21, 2010 at 11:53 AM
36
I am a bad, bad man -- the quotes from the Salon piece that I linked to myself yesterday prove it.
Posted by Dan Savage on February 21, 2010 at 3:32 PM
37
maybe counseling would help?
Posted by I hear they can do wonders with electroshock therapy... on February 21, 2010 at 4:27 PM
venomlash 38
@37: No amount of counseling in the world can cure an inability to detect sarcasm. But if you want to try electroshock therapy, go ahead.
Posted by venomlash on February 21, 2010 at 6:31 PM
39
"16
Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a "real" woman?"

thanks for the laff. Now go stick yer fingers down your throat and throw up those Oreos you binged on.
Posted by Woman are super! on February 21, 2010 at 7:00 PM
40
38
that's sad.
maybe they'll give you your money back...
Posted by Hey! maybe the Wizard of Oz can give you a sarcasm detector! on February 21, 2010 at 7:14 PM
41
Just want to share this with everyone:

http://hateitorlovett.blogspot.com/2010/…
Posted by belovedlovett http:// on February 21, 2010 at 7:36 PM
Anna Anna Anna 42
The Pope looks great with that polish.
Posted by Anna Anna Anna on February 21, 2010 at 9:57 PM
43
Aren't the first two guys married?
To, you know, Women?

What exactly is the photoshop cleverness we are admiring?
Posted by soooo clever? on February 22, 2010 at 5:44 AM
Southern Gentleman 44
mischiefmanager@16 asked, "Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a 'real' woman?"

Maybe because guys who are so deeply insecure they have to express their masculinity with a bumper sticker aren't really interested in women...
Posted by Southern Gentleman http://just-write.contentquake.com on February 22, 2010 at 6:00 AM
45 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
46
@ 16

It's because there are conflicting images of "real" women (i.e. saintly mother, stick-thin aloof whatever, sultry vixen, femme fatale, cold-hearted business woman, and on and on and on). But being a "real" woman isn't synonymous with "power" - like being a "real" man is. So we obsess with it, we speak out against it (like those Dove ads), but unfortunately it's too complex to fit on a bumper sticker...
Posted by Lostin92 on February 22, 2010 at 9:57 AM
47
@33
That is an AWESOME slogan.
Posted by caitygirl on February 22, 2010 at 11:02 PM
48
@16- Because it's simple. Real women have babies, lots and lots of babies.
Posted by dwight moody on February 23, 2010 at 2:06 PM
Jo42 49
As a matter of fact we have a group of daughters of bitches up here in Canada called "REAL Women"
http://www.realwomenca.com/.

They sound all well and good until you actually get into the details. They describe themselves as: "REAL (Realistic, Equal, Active for Life) Women of Canada, a non-partisan, inter-denominational organization, believes the social and economic problems of women should be resolved by taking into consideration the effects on family life and society as a whole. REAL Women believes the family is the most important unit in society, as we have yet to develop a better model to care for the young, protect the weak and attend the elderly."

In fact they're a thinly veiled advocacy group for the Christian right.

The really funny thing is that they used to have their office across the hall (literally) from Egale which is the national LBGT rights organization up here, and the group behind the formation of Canadians for Equal Marriage which was instrumental in getting marriage equality in Canada.

I'm amazed that no one ever through a fist.. or rock for that matter.. in that building!
Posted by Jo42 on February 24, 2010 at 11:32 AM

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