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News & ArtsSaturday, February 20, 2010
Politics / Homo Real Men Marry Women
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Feb 20, 2010 at 12:54 PM
The original is here—and now the parodies are coming.
"Oh, the perils of Photoshop and a Saturday morning with nothing to do," says inspired Photoshopper Rob Tisinai. Via JoeMyGod.
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I love that the photoshopper didn't change the hands at all, so now those guys all have pretty maroon/purple finger nail polish. :D
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Actually those hands look entirely appropriate on P-Benny. He's such a fashion victim, and I think the color will really go with his sparkly red shoes.
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I wonder where the original sign-holder is from. Obviously it's a knock against gay marriage, but it also connotes that a heterosexual man needs to make an honest woman out of whomever he's boinking. There are multiple levels of dictating how to live one's personal life at play here.
Funny parodies.
Funny parodies.
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@11: Real men don't demean the jokes of others just because they don't have the wit to come up with them themselves.
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you'll be happy that I posted this http://wakingupnow.com/blog/real-men-mar… on andrew breitbart's facebook page...
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@11:
You're such a silly boy. Of course real men piss themselves! (skip ahead to 4:40 and you'll see what I mean).
You're such a silly boy. Of course real men piss themselves! (skip ahead to 4:40 and you'll see what I mean).
22
In the good old days, folks at CPAC liked to joke that gay was an acronym for "got AIDS yet." One year, Paul Cameron got on stage and said it may became necessary to put gay men in concentration camps. Nowadays, the best they have is silly bumper stickers? I'm disappointed in the degeneration of right-wing homophobia. Hell, this year they even let GOProud attend. What's the world coming too?
24
No matter what the cause, please don't make me look at Pope Rat, or even think about the freak.
The fucking weirdo represents all that is pompous, oily, smelly & just plain wrong about organized religion.
The fucking weirdo represents all that is pompous, oily, smelly & just plain wrong about organized religion.
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Dan Savage in Salon:
"... I had the flu in a big way.
"My plan? Get close enough to Bauer to give him the flu, which, if I am successful, will lay him flat just before the New Hampshire primary. I would go to Bauer's campaign office and cough on everything -- phones and pens, staplers and staffers. I even hatched a plan to infect the candidate himself. I would keep the pen in my mouth until Bauer dropped by his offices to rally the troops. And when he did, I would approach him and ask for his autograph, handing him the pen from my flu-virus incubating mouth."
"...my sinuses were running like an open tap, so I probably didn't need the pizza. And, anyway, I have work to do.
"I went from doorknob to doorknob. They were filthy, no doubt, but there wasn't time to find a rag to spit on. My immune system wasn't all it should be -- I was in the grip of the worst flu I had ever had -- but I was on a mission. If for some reason I didn't manage to get a pen from my mouth to Gary's hands, I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could, and hopefully one of them would infect the candidate.
"So, much as it pains me to confirm a hateful stereotype of gay men -- we will put anything in our mouths -- I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door. When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards. Then I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack."
"... I had the flu in a big way.
"My plan? Get close enough to Bauer to give him the flu, which, if I am successful, will lay him flat just before the New Hampshire primary. I would go to Bauer's campaign office and cough on everything -- phones and pens, staplers and staffers. I even hatched a plan to infect the candidate himself. I would keep the pen in my mouth until Bauer dropped by his offices to rally the troops. And when he did, I would approach him and ask for his autograph, handing him the pen from my flu-virus incubating mouth."
"...my sinuses were running like an open tap, so I probably didn't need the pizza. And, anyway, I have work to do.
"I went from doorknob to doorknob. They were filthy, no doubt, but there wasn't time to find a rag to spit on. My immune system wasn't all it should be -- I was in the grip of the worst flu I had ever had -- but I was on a mission. If for some reason I didn't manage to get a pen from my mouth to Gary's hands, I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could, and hopefully one of them would infect the candidate.
"So, much as it pains me to confirm a hateful stereotype of gay men -- we will put anything in our mouths -- I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door. When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards. Then I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack."
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Dan,
the guy in the video described the 'spreading mucus' stunt as "disgusting".
Was he wrong?
"I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack...."
"When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards."
"I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door."
"I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could"
Was it disgusting, Dan?
Is the guy in the video right?
the guy in the video described the 'spreading mucus' stunt as "disgusting".
Was he wrong?
"I stood in the kitchen and licked the rims of all the clean coffee cups drying in the rack...."
"When that was done, I started in on the staplers, phones and computer keyboards."
"I started licking doorknobs. The front door, office doors, even a bathroom door."
"I wanted to seed his office with germs, get as many of his people sick as I could"
Was it disgusting, Dan?
Is the guy in the video right?
27
more Danny:
"Waiting for Gary, I took my pen out of my pocket and put it in my mouth. This was it, my one shot. I chewed the pen, cracking the plastic shaft. I turned the pen around and chewed on the tip, cracking that end, too. Gary's remarks were mercifully brief, and as he stepped away from the podium, I stepped toward him, holding my photograph.
"This is my son," I said. "Will you autograph it?" Bauer gave me an blank look. I needed to give him a little more. "I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."
"He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.
"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."
"He took the picture, and then I pulled the pen out of my mouth and handed it to him. Score! My bodily fluids -- flu bugs and all -- were all over his hand! He grabbed a poster and scribbled on it to get the ink flowing, then signed the picture. He handed me my pen, and started to walk toward his van. I saw him run a finger under his nose. Perfect."
"Waiting for Gary, I took my pen out of my pocket and put it in my mouth. This was it, my one shot. I chewed the pen, cracking the plastic shaft. I turned the pen around and chewed on the tip, cracking that end, too. Gary's remarks were mercifully brief, and as he stepped away from the podium, I stepped toward him, holding my photograph.
"This is my son," I said. "Will you autograph it?" Bauer gave me an blank look. I needed to give him a little more. "I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."
"He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.
"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."
"He took the picture, and then I pulled the pen out of my mouth and handed it to him. Score! My bodily fluids -- flu bugs and all -- were all over his hand! He grabbed a poster and scribbled on it to get the ink flowing, then signed the picture. He handed me my pen, and started to walk toward his van. I saw him run a finger under his nose. Perfect."
28
I stepped toward him, holding my photograph.
"This is my son," I said.
"Will you autograph it?"
"I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."
He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.
"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."
Gary thought it was wonderful your son's mother didn't abort him.
What a sleazy bastard Gary is-
Right Dan.....
"This is my son," I said.
"Will you autograph it?"
"I talked his mother out of aborting him. You're my hero, Mr. Bauer."
He looked at me with his little bug eyes, and broke into a wide smile, his strangely splayed teeth poking out from under his upper lip.
"Good for you," Gary said, "that's wonderful."
Gary thought it was wonderful your son's mother didn't abort him.
What a sleazy bastard Gary is-
Right Dan.....
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@25-28 Yes, yes, we get the point. You're 12 and they don't show cartoons on Sunday mornings like they used to. Cry me a river.
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All this reminds me of the poster being carried in the Seattle gay protest last year. "If I can't marry the man I love, I'll marry YOUR daughter"!
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I am a bad, bad man -- the quotes from the Salon piece that I linked to myself yesterday prove it.
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@37: No amount of counseling in the world can cure an inability to detect sarcasm. But if you want to try electroshock therapy, go ahead.
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"16
Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a "real" woman?"
thanks for the laff. Now go stick yer fingers down your throat and throw up those Oreos you binged on.
Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a "real" woman?"
thanks for the laff. Now go stick yer fingers down your throat and throw up those Oreos you binged on.
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Aren't the first two guys married?
To, you know, Women?
What exactly is the photoshop cleverness we are admiring?
To, you know, Women?
What exactly is the photoshop cleverness we are admiring?
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mischiefmanager@16 asked, "Why is it that women don't obsess about what constitutes a 'real' woman?"
Maybe because guys who are so deeply insecure they have to express their masculinity with a bumper sticker aren't really interested in women...
Maybe because guys who are so deeply insecure they have to express their masculinity with a bumper sticker aren't really interested in women...
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@ 16
It's because there are conflicting images of "real" women (i.e. saintly mother, stick-thin aloof whatever, sultry vixen, femme fatale, cold-hearted business woman, and on and on and on). But being a "real" woman isn't synonymous with "power" - like being a "real" man is. So we obsess with it, we speak out against it (like those Dove ads), but unfortunately it's too complex to fit on a bumper sticker...
It's because there are conflicting images of "real" women (i.e. saintly mother, stick-thin aloof whatever, sultry vixen, femme fatale, cold-hearted business woman, and on and on and on). But being a "real" woman isn't synonymous with "power" - like being a "real" man is. So we obsess with it, we speak out against it (like those Dove ads), but unfortunately it's too complex to fit on a bumper sticker...
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As a matter of fact we have a group of daughters of bitches up here in Canada called "REAL Women"
http://www.realwomenca.com/.
They sound all well and good until you actually get into the details. They describe themselves as: "REAL (Realistic, Equal, Active for Life) Women of Canada, a non-partisan, inter-denominational organization, believes the social and economic problems of women should be resolved by taking into consideration the effects on family life and society as a whole. REAL Women believes the family is the most important unit in society, as we have yet to develop a better model to care for the young, protect the weak and attend the elderly."
In fact they're a thinly veiled advocacy group for the Christian right.
The really funny thing is that they used to have their office across the hall (literally) from Egale which is the national LBGT rights organization up here, and the group behind the formation of Canadians for Equal Marriage which was instrumental in getting marriage equality in Canada.
I'm amazed that no one ever through a fist.. or rock for that matter.. in that building!
http://www.realwomenca.com/.
They sound all well and good until you actually get into the details. They describe themselves as: "REAL (Realistic, Equal, Active for Life) Women of Canada, a non-partisan, inter-denominational organization, believes the social and economic problems of women should be resolved by taking into consideration the effects on family life and society as a whole. REAL Women believes the family is the most important unit in society, as we have yet to develop a better model to care for the young, protect the weak and attend the elderly."
In fact they're a thinly veiled advocacy group for the Christian right.
The really funny thing is that they used to have their office across the hall (literally) from Egale which is the national LBGT rights organization up here, and the group behind the formation of Canadians for Equal Marriage which was instrumental in getting marriage equality in Canada.
I'm amazed that no one ever through a fist.. or rock for that matter.. in that building!
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