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Friday, February 19, 2010

Chow / At Large Big (and Dead) in Great Britain

Posted by on Fri, Feb 19, 2010 at 9:18 AM

It's time to replace the two body-burners at the crematorium in Hastings, so they're getting bigger ones. From the Sussex Express:

Hastings crematorium is getting a bigger burner because there are more fat people dying in the town. The council's cabinet approved an £800,000 revamp of the current facilities on The Ridge in November.

And it emerged this week that one of the two new burners is going to be "large entry" so it can accommodate funerals for obese people...

"One will be a [sic] just slightly bigger but the other will be quite a lot larger."

No information on the presumably also larger cost. (At least the government there takes care of its dead people. Here we're all at the mercy of the mercenary funeral industry: "Dignity®.")

 

Comments (21) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
the good thing about fat people is that they do die
Posted by beebe on February 19, 2010 at 9:38 AM
Cato the Younger Younger 2
I thought we could drain the fat from their bodies upon death and convert it into fuel?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on February 19, 2010 at 9:41 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 3
They should just hack the bodies up into smaller pieces so they fit in the burners they already have. I mean, really, it's all going to be a pile of ashes at the end anyway.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on February 19, 2010 at 9:51 AM
4
the fat are already walking dead anyway. It matters not how their worthless and self-abused bodies are disposed of.
Posted by killing themselves on February 19, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Matt from Denver 5
@ 3 offers the practical solution, just like the king who offered to cut the baby in half for the two mothers who claimed him. This solution will likely go over about as well.
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 19, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Matt from Denver 6
Oh oh, looks like we have an anti-fat troll. My bet is that he's ugly, which all the plastic surgery in the world will be unable to remedy.
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 19, 2010 at 10:07 AM
7
I'm cute, matt. But when compared to you and others fatso's, I'm a god

you see, I have enough DIGNITY to not make myself obese.

kthx.
Posted by killing themselves on February 19, 2010 at 10:17 AM
8
I am with @2 I have ofte thought that Lipo-Harvesting (tm) would benifit both society and the obese. I suggest free liposuction for the morbidly obese. The harvested product could then be converted as an alternative fuel source. It is sustainable and good for the public at large.

I had not thought of the dead though, @2, brilliant. If the deceased signs a pre-demise donation form cremation is free. In fact crematoriums could be run on the stuff. Hows that for recycle/re-use?
Posted by thatsnotright on February 19, 2010 at 10:23 AM
rob! 9
They (and we) should consider the alkaline digester.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 19, 2010 at 10:28 AM
Matt from Denver 10
@ 7, ha ha, I'm not fat. But you ARE ugly, I'm positive of that because unregistered trolls are never honest.
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 19, 2010 at 10:30 AM
11
10
ugly is only skin deep.
stupid goes all the way to the bone...
Posted by a different troll who couldn't resist (sorry, other troll) on February 19, 2010 at 11:05 AM
12
It's one thing to hack the limbs off, but what if the torso is too big to fit? Could get messy.
Posted by keshmeshi on February 19, 2010 at 11:06 AM
rob! 13
Re: 9, found the link specifically related to human remains.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 19, 2010 at 11:11 AM
Will in Seattle 14
I prefer solar cookers.

That or the wonderful Tibetan practice of chopping up the bodies for the vultures, that makes me think all warm and fuzzy thoughts of the Dali Lama.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 19, 2010 at 11:12 AM
Matt from Denver 15
@ 11, you're well acquainted with being stupid, so I'll take you at your word.
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 19, 2010 at 11:15 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 16
Kesh, anybody who has ever field-dressed a deer or an elk wouldn't have much of a problem with that.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on February 19, 2010 at 11:22 AM
17
15
so is your momma
Posted by hold the fries on February 19, 2010 at 11:33 AM
Will in Seattle 18
by the way, I hate the way spellcheck changes His Holiness' name.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 19, 2010 at 12:09 PM
19
I always figured that obese people burn hotter in the crematurium, thus taken less fuel.

Sky burial (Tibetan Style) is definitely the way to go, though of course it gets stinky in major metropolitan areas.
Posted by dwight moody on February 19, 2010 at 12:56 PM
Will in Seattle 20
Plus, where do you leave the cutting utensils ... I mean, they're unclean afterwards.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 19, 2010 at 2:07 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 21
Right, Will. That's such a major problem that even hospitals haven't figured out what to do about it.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on February 19, 2010 at 2:21 PM

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