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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SL Letter of the Day: Hello, Gorgeous!

Posted by on Wed, Feb 10, 2010 at 5:24 PM

Just a little note to say that while in a noted director's house one afternoon (he was absent) my friend and I did take his Oscar and place it in my fly... She got on her knees and "polished" it. If that was the first thing that came to our minds (with what little time we had), you can be sure true owners and houseguests have gone much further....

One caveat: those mothers are HEAVY! You'd have to be pretty careful!

d2

And from the comments on the column this letter references...

I won an Oscar for sound editing in the latter third of the 20th century. I'm an engineer, so I keep count of things:

3 Butts,
6 Pussies,
4 Mouths (3 of them immediately following one of the above).

Read the column here.

 

Comments (15) RSS

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Vampireseal 1
Somehow I just don't buy this story unless there are more people out there than I imagine that look at every object they encounter and wonder if it could fit into their orifices.

Really, that was the first thing they thought of? Really? Oscar?

You know, I bet someone could write a fantastic objectum sexual love story featuring Mr. Oscar. Hmm......
Didn't cracked.com feature something about statue fetish?
Posted by Vampireseal on February 10, 2010 at 6:13 PM
venomlash 2
This is mildly unsettling...
Posted by venomlash on February 10, 2010 at 6:14 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 3
Zzzzzzz.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on February 10, 2010 at 6:23 PM
persimmon 4
This reminds me of an erotica story I read once about a girl getting off using the hood ornament of a car. The Parrish-style chick on the old 1930's Speedster cars. Full of cringe-worthy detail about wrapping the vagina around the pointy arms. It was written by a guy--because no girl willingly thinks of putting sharp, angular objects in her pussy. I can only hope the Oscar is less painful.
Posted by persimmon on February 10, 2010 at 6:34 PM
Ness 5
New goal in life: get fucked by an Oscar.
Posted by Ness http://www.collegecandy.com/author/nessfraser on February 10, 2010 at 6:54 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 6
Aw, shit, Ness, for you I'd change my name to Oscar.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on February 10, 2010 at 7:38 PM
balderdash 7
Man, I would. Just to say I had.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on February 10, 2010 at 7:44 PM
MythicFox 8
@5 That is a goal guaranteed to generate tales for the ages whether one succeeds or fails.
Posted by MythicFox on February 11, 2010 at 1:00 AM
9
pics or it didn't happen, you suck as a /b/tard. GTFO.
Posted by grumpmaru on February 11, 2010 at 4:42 AM
gttim 10
Well now, with the Olympics coming up....
Posted by gttim on February 11, 2010 at 9:34 AM
Rhett Oracle 11
Little known Oscar trivia from:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Dildo

In the middle ages (circa 18th Century), dildos were domesticated by the American Motion Picture Academy. Initially it was dubbed the Oscar (Osacarae Wildeus). But, Oscar Wilde, a proud advocate of penis as a weapon of mass destruction, didn't quite appreciate the name. He appointed three lawyers, four Mafia hitmen and two green cucumbers to make a proposition to the Academy they couldn't refuse. Actually, they couldn't refuse the cucumbers, as they were all highly sculpted, extremely supple and about the right size. So, the name was changed to John, then Paul, then George and then Ringo. All these names failed to feature in the Times Best Seller List. Finally the Academy settled for the name Dildo.
Posted by Rhett Oracle on February 11, 2010 at 11:20 AM
12
Full disclosure (well, sort of):

It is actually pretty painful to try to get the shoulders into an ass that isn't used to a lot of penetration. 2 of the 4 butts only got Mr. Oscar's head in them, not the shoulders or beyond.

Of the remaining 2, one was because she was used to anal sex, the other because she liked the pain.

Also: one of the mouths was mine.
Posted by Still not giving up the film. on February 11, 2010 at 11:38 AM
13
OH YEAH! It was 4 Butts. Not 3. Trust me: #3 is one I would like to forget.
Posted by I REALLY wish I could forget her.... on February 11, 2010 at 11:41 AM
T 14
Snooze. Do something with a Golden Globe and I'll be impressed.
Posted by T on February 11, 2010 at 12:01 PM
venomlash 15
@14: Titwank?
Posted by venomlash on February 11, 2010 at 5:49 PM

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