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News & ArtsMonday, February 8, 2010
Books Useless Books I Have Gotten in the Mail, Part 17: How to Get Divorced by 30
Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Feb 8, 2010 at 4:26 PM
Why is it useless? It's a memoir (adapted from an L.A. Weekly article) about the author's first marriage, which was a failure. I guess it's supposed to be amusing, but the problem is that the author is an idiot. There are a bunch of quotes like this:
I was a struggling writer slash cocktail waitress. He was a struggling actor slash bartender. It was a romance made in L.A. heaven. I had broken up with my live-in boyfriend Adam only two months before Jeff and I had our first date. And like a game of Tetris, Adam's upside down L shape turned and formed the space in my heart for Jeff's rectangle.
Ugh. When she's not just plain dumb, Rothchild comes across as whiny. (She blames her mother for damming up her emotions and then says:
But the dam has to break sometimes and when it does it's like a polluted river. All sorts of things you didn't realize you were holding back comes spilling out, and they are as toxic as mercury-filled fish carcasses, dirty needles, and used condoms.
Double ugh.)
Could anyone enjoy this book? Well, apparently it's going to be a movie. Someone will buy the book after they see the sure-to-be-mediocre movie, I bet. But, Christ: This book makes an unimpeachable case for outlawing the memoir. Freedom of the press be damned; did you read that fucking Tetris simile?
2
"But, Christ: This book makes an unimpeachable case for outlawing the memoir." Perhaps excessive use of hyperbole in SLOG postings should also be outlawed. Oops...that would cut out 90% of the content. Never mind...
5
Don't ... Don't you love me ...
Sorry, it just seems like an old 80s song where the line goes "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true. You picked me up, you ..."
Sorry, it just seems like an old 80s song where the line goes "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true. You picked me up, you ..."
9
@1: Just bad. I admire awesomely bad books from time to time, and this is not one of them.
@2: I will never use hyperbole ever again, and that is a blood oath.
@8: Agreed!
@2: I will never use hyperbole ever again, and that is a blood oath.
@8: Agreed!
10
This book is not my cup of tea... and the metaphors are labored. However, I am not sure what is worse... Rothchild's writing or the idea that we are supposed to take the review of a book about a woman's perspective on marriage seriously when the review is written by a (probably unmarried) male SLOG writer.
11
@10: Yes, how dare he review a book by a woman! Obviously only someone who has had identical life experiences to the author is qualified to have an opinion on her book.
12
Man, that is some lousy writing, but I'm sure the pitch meeting was a home run. I think this is what they mean when they say a book writes itself.
15
Get Real: If the review read "This book is no good because the description of what it feels like to be a woman in such a marriage is inaccurate," you might have a valid point. As it doesn't...
Hee. This conversation reminds me that I just read a negative review of a fantasy novel that said "the dragons aren't dragonlike!"
Hee. This conversation reminds me that I just read a negative review of a fantasy novel that said "the dragons aren't dragonlike!"
16
This goes into the whole Alanis Morisette blaming a bunch of men for my own serial psycho-relationships with the world form of art.
Just like:
http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=Eg8EMWu6LCQ
Just like:
http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=Eg8EMWu6LCQ
18
I remember a friend once telling me about a book he was reading that described the level of how shocked a character was as being like they jammed a fork into a toaster (ignoring that this is possibly the worst pun in the history of literature).
When he confirmed that it was the main character making this comparison in a book that was set in the medieval era, I told him that this was the worst writing I'd ever heard of, since the character would obviously have no concept of toasters, electricity, or probably even forks. I told him that if I'd been the one reading this book, that would have made me quit then and there.
Now I see someone else has taken that prize by lowering that bar even lower.
When he confirmed that it was the main character making this comparison in a book that was set in the medieval era, I told him that this was the worst writing I'd ever heard of, since the character would obviously have no concept of toasters, electricity, or probably even forks. I told him that if I'd been the one reading this book, that would have made me quit then and there.
Now I see someone else has taken that prize by lowering that bar even lower.
21
Maybe it is relevant to shallow people who got married young and divorced by 30, when they out grew their shallowness ...
Like just about every damn woman that tries to pick me up in a bar when I leave a metropolitan area.
It's not a concept I like, but I guess I can appreciate that her experience is familiar to so many people.
Like just about every damn woman that tries to pick me up in a bar when I leave a metropolitan area.
It's not a concept I like, but I guess I can appreciate that her experience is familiar to so many people.
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