Find Your Valentine
Slog
News & ArtsSaturday, February 6, 2010
Savage Love Neologism Needed
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Feb 6, 2010 at 11:10 AM
A "Savage Love" reader writes...
You know how sometimes men use their stream of piss to knock off pieces of fecal matter from the side of the toilet bowl? It seems like there should be a term for that. Is there, perhaps, a politician?
Suggestions?
5
I vote Palinating, but something tells me this won't ever approach the greatness of Santorum, no matter who you name it after. It's not related to a somewhat-icky sex act, it's just one of those little things that all guys do but don't tell their girlfriends about.
12
it's scum used to break up the consistency and sheer stick-to-it-ness of other scum. i think Palin is the perfect choice but prefer "palinizing" to "palinating"
13
Am I the only Felix Unger who lays a strip of t.p. in the host's throne before shitting, so as not to Crayola the bowl-a with Burnt Umber?
19
Boehnering, and the fecal mater itself should be referred to as "boehner" as in "look at all the damned boehner in that toilet bowl! Ewww!!" (named for senator john boehner)
23
@3 "In honor of Scott Brown "knocking off" Coakley -- Brownbeating?"
I mean, pissed off voters electing someone who will piss all over us because of a shitty candidate. Perfect.
I mean, pissed off voters electing someone who will piss all over us because of a shitty candidate. Perfect.
27
Torn between Palinating and Brownbeating. But I think Sarah deserves something special in light of her capitulating to Rush and throwing her own child under the bus (look it up on Google News folks).
So Brownbeating it is. And it makes sense; shit is brown, special elections are piss poor elections where GOP candidates do well, I could to on but I'm writing this on an iPhone.
So Brownbeating it is. And it makes sense; shit is brown, special elections are piss poor elections where GOP candidates do well, I could to on but I'm writing this on an iPhone.
28
How about to "Shelby"?
In honor of Senator Richard Shelby (R-AL) who is using his Senate position to indiscriminately block or knock off dozens of appointees to federal offices. When doing so I'm certain he feels the same sense of unreasonable self-satisfaction and superiority that we guys feel when we shoot that piece of shit off the side of the bowl.
In honor of Senator Richard Shelby (R-AL) who is using his Senate position to indiscriminately block or knock off dozens of appointees to federal offices. When doing so I'm certain he feels the same sense of unreasonable self-satisfaction and superiority that we guys feel when we shoot that piece of shit off the side of the bowl.
29
Two Congressmen were finishing taking a leak in the Capitol bathroom.
The Democrat was washing his hands,
the Republican zipped and started walking out.
"my mamma* taught me to wash my hands after I went potty..." the Democrat sneered.
"my daddy taught me not to piss on my hands..." the Republican answered as he went out the door.
.
* alas, he did not specify which of his two saintly mothers it was...
The Democrat was washing his hands,
the Republican zipped and started walking out.
"my mamma* taught me to wash my hands after I went potty..." the Democrat sneered.
"my daddy taught me not to piss on my hands..." the Republican answered as he went out the door.
.
* alas, he did not specify which of his two saintly mothers it was...
30
to Bachmannize. I detest Michele Bachmann. Even if this act goes to a worthier candidate, can we please think of a gross act to attach to her name?
33
Okay, I, uh, had no idea that this ever happens. And I'm with balderdash: I REALLY don't think this needs a name.
40
I didn't know guys did this. I could have done without that knowledge.
I vote for Tancreding or Brownbeating.
I vote for Tancreding or Brownbeating.
44
@40, @33: whenever I engage in this unnamed activity, I feel like I'm doing the owner of the bowl a great and kind favor. Seriously, I get a little rush of pride at a job well done when a particularly stubborn fleck pops off.
47
Yellowcaking?
Slightly off topic, I really wanted Yellowcake to replace watergate as the suffix with which we name political scandals (e.g. Cartergate, Lawyergate, even the Yellowcake affair got it with Plamegate), but considering the number of scandals during the Bush administration, it would have been a nice change of pace to see Graibcake, Surveilancecake, Bribecake and so on. If for no other reason there are far better jokes to be made about cakes than gates.
On another aside, I know few others get it, but it's, to some of us Cold Warrior types, a cardinal sin to burn a spy over a political tiff. Somebody should have been fed feet first into a blast furnace for Plame's fingering.
Slightly off topic, I really wanted Yellowcake to replace watergate as the suffix with which we name political scandals (e.g. Cartergate, Lawyergate, even the Yellowcake affair got it with Plamegate), but considering the number of scandals during the Bush administration, it would have been a nice change of pace to see Graibcake, Surveilancecake, Bribecake and so on. If for no other reason there are far better jokes to be made about cakes than gates.
On another aside, I know few others get it, but it's, to some of us Cold Warrior types, a cardinal sin to burn a spy over a political tiff. Somebody should have been fed feet first into a blast furnace for Plame's fingering.
49
I agree with the suggestions regarding Bachman - but this is not foul enough for her. We need something really, really bad for Bachman.
50
47 we have it on good authority that Plame fingered herself. regularly. married to a pasty pantystain like Wilson, it seems inevitable.
51
Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapee Huckapeeeeeeee!
Oh lord, don't you see?
It's GOT to be HUCKAPEE!!!
Oh lord, don't you see?
It's GOT to be HUCKAPEE!!!
55
I'm afraid that if you give that particular activity a name, people will actually start bringing it up in conversation. Please don't name this.
56
I am stunned at yet another odd and perverse thing men do with their penis. This is one bathroom stunt I could have gone on without knowing. Thanks for sharing guys, really.
57
We could put up cute little plaques or framed stitchings with the following rhyme:
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Use the brush we provide for thee
So we won't have to Huck-a-Pee"
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
Use the brush we provide for thee
So we won't have to Huck-a-Pee"
58
Wow. Between this conversation and Googling Greg Odin today, I've had a bit too much traumatic penis imagery in my head.
I've been beaten to the Joe Lieberman and Michelle Bachman suggestions, so I suggest "Glenbecking."
I've been beaten to the Joe Lieberman and Michelle Bachman suggestions, so I suggest "Glenbecking."
59
It's a shame Linda Smith no longer represents SW Washington, because then you could say "I sprayed a Linda Smith all over her Dirty Sanchez."
61
1. Doesn't need a name.
2. Bowlflecking.
3. Stream of conscientiousness
...in that order.
*sigh*
Welcome, girls, to male secrets.. :)
2. Bowlflecking.
3. Stream of conscientiousness
...in that order.
*sigh*
Welcome, girls, to male secrets.. :)
62
I've gotta back up Tancredo on this one. But I think there should be a reframing of the question. It shouldn't be about the Act of dislodging the fecal matter, it should be about the fecal matter itself which seriously needs to be dislodged and sorely begs for urination. I call that fecal matter "Tancredo".
63
first, define the act of leaving the smear of fecal matter on the toilet bowl. i nominate "savage."
usage: i took a massive dump this morning. i savaged the bowl so bad it took me 7 minutes to clean it.
usage: i took a massive dump this morning. i savaged the bowl so bad it took me 7 minutes to clean it.
65
@63: "Savage" is already a verb. It means "to attack brutally and fiercely" according to the Princeton web site. And I'm sure not too many people would mind if that happened to you. Curl up and die, Alleged.
67
Dan, if Terri was doing even a half-assed job of cleaning those toilets there wouldn't be pieces of fecal matter stuck on the side of the toilet bowl. You're obviously letting wifey get away with way too much. Cut off the bon-bons until things improve.
Of course, a couple of gay guys may think that gobs of feces splattered all over the house is normal. You may want to call in a couple of lesbians to give Terri some housekeeping tips.
You'd hate for DSHS to have to pay a visit....
Of course, a couple of gay guys may think that gobs of feces splattered all over the house is normal. You may want to call in a couple of lesbians to give Terri some housekeeping tips.
You'd hate for DSHS to have to pay a visit....
68
Q- How is triple ply TP like the Starship Enterprise?
A- It circles Uranus looking for Klingons.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
A- It circles Uranus looking for Klingons.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
69
@66: Okay, Alleged, I'm game. Why don't you tell me the number (ballpark estimates are fine) of people who would give a shit if you were savaged by an escaped Komodo dragon.
And in regards to your @67 comment, you really just show your lack of reading/comprehension skills by saying shit like this. If you read the fucking post, you'll see that it was a READER who suggested this. I will not even dignify your idiotic ravings in the rest of that post with a response.
@68: A for effort, D+ for outcome. Feel free to seek a second opinion.
And in regards to your @67 comment, you really just show your lack of reading/comprehension skills by saying shit like this. If you read the fucking post, you'll see that it was a READER who suggested this. I will not even dignify your idiotic ravings in the rest of that post with a response.
@68: A for effort, D+ for outcome. Feel free to seek a second opinion.
70
Palinite - the substance a man (or woman) gets on his lips after eating out a woman, shortly after she had an abortion.
73
I want to just push back a little bit on the underlying premise, about this activity not being named.
Now, look, pissing, and shit, and to a certain extent waving one's penis around, can call to mind Republicans and therefore the there is a desire to link them more strongly, especially the more odious examples.
The fact of the matter is is that when a man uses his urine stream to knock pieces of fecal matter off the sides, that's "cleaning the toilet".
Now, look, pissing, and shit, and to a certain extent waving one's penis around, can call to mind Republicans and therefore the there is a desire to link them more strongly, especially the more odious examples.
The fact of the matter is is that when a man uses his urine stream to knock pieces of fecal matter off the sides, that's "cleaning the toilet".
74
Seconding 33 with the "what the fuck" point, but I think it should be the official analogy for when a bigoted republican is replaced by a do-nothing pussy of a democrat. "You're just knocking off shit with piss." Or something.
76
venomlash, who the f#kk is "alleged?" and what is your problem? don't bother answering. i don't have enough time to read it all.
words can have more than one definition. you can't be so dumb that you don't know that, can you?
venomlash - why the anger? someone takes a shot at danny and you go balistic? curl up and die? you need help.
oh, and by the way, hard as it may be for you to believe or understand, not every anonymous commenter is the same person. in fact, i know that comment number 63 was not written by the same person who wrote comment number 66.
venom - take a deep breath. exhale. repeat. if it doesn't calm you down, take your head out of danny's sphincter and try again. your comment about comment #67 is missing the fact that you know danny doesn't savage any bowl. it's impossible to do with sloggers like you licking his rectum on an hourly basis. keep up the good work!
words can have more than one definition. you can't be so dumb that you don't know that, can you?
venomlash - why the anger? someone takes a shot at danny and you go balistic? curl up and die? you need help.
oh, and by the way, hard as it may be for you to believe or understand, not every anonymous commenter is the same person. in fact, i know that comment number 63 was not written by the same person who wrote comment number 66.
venom - take a deep breath. exhale. repeat. if it doesn't calm you down, take your head out of danny's sphincter and try again. your comment about comment #67 is missing the fact that you know danny doesn't savage any bowl. it's impossible to do with sloggers like you licking his rectum on an hourly basis. keep up the good work!
77
this is why I love The Slog.
And the answer to this is: Huckapee-ing is the act of knocking off Tancredos, aka little pieces of shit that are stuck to the bowl, with your piss.
You're welcome.
And the answer to this is: Huckapee-ing is the act of knocking off Tancredos, aka little pieces of shit that are stuck to the bowl, with your piss.
You're welcome.
78
@8 got me, the Lieberman
A really unsanitary and lazy way to clean the toilet. The proponent of this maneuver becomes incensed and sanctimonious when criticized.
A really unsanitary and lazy way to clean the toilet. The proponent of this maneuver becomes incensed and sanctimonious when criticized.
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
SL Letter of the Day: Pill The Homos! by Dan Savage
-
Dear Huffington Post... by Dan Savage
-
Slog Bible Study: Deuteronomy 21:10-14 by Goldy
-
The AP Is Reporting That Whitney Houston Is Dead by Paul Constant
-
Because Guns Make Us Safer by Goldy
-
The Rick Santorum Rally in Tacoma Probably Could Have Gone Better by Paul Constant
-
SL Letter of the Day: Daddy Loves Who? by Dan Savage
-
Because Guns Make Us More Safer by Goldy
-
Gay Kids Are Still Killing Themselves by Dan Savage
-
Gregoire: "This is signed!" by Eli Sanders
RSS
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (85) RSS